Scene opens in Showtime David Cougars dressing room at WZCW Studios. Showtime is sitting in his lounge chair quietly reading from a pile of papers that surround his desk. Allen Lewicki is also in the room going over Showtimes upcoming schedule. Trent Stonewall appears in the room as well and is standing right beside Showtime, yelling in his ear.
Stonewall: Tonight... we reclaim what is rightfully ours. Our time away from the main event spotlight in WZCW is over. Tonight we reclaim glory. We show all who oppose us that Showtime is ready to take centre stage again. And to all who view us... they will be left speechless by the performances we are about to deliver.
Lewicki: Showtime Im really excited about tonight. I know for the past several weeks youve been trying to separate yourself from just about everything in your past. Which is why I was surprised that you were going to bring back...
Cougar: Allen... we wouldnt want to spoil the surprise for everybody. Someones always trying to get an inside story in wrestling.
Oh yes... of course. Sorry... I forgot that somebody could be in this room right now listening in on our conversation.
Trent Stonewall lets out a loud laugh to which Showtime smiles and chuckles.
Yes your right Allen. I suppose anybody could be in this room right now.
Trent Stonewall taps Showtimes shoulder and points to Allen.
When are you going to get rid of this monkey, now that Ive returned to reorganize your priorities.
In time... right now its good to have someone who is real around. Might keep me a little more sane.
Did you say something Showtime?
Just mumbling over some notes for tonight. Its been a long time. I do admit Im slightly nervous.
You nervous? Your Showtime David Cougar. The most confident and charismatic superstar in WZCW. Youll knock this one out of the park, just like you always do.
Thanks Allen. Come on, lets go get you that Snow cone youve been asking for before we head out and do this thing.
Alllllright!
Showtime and Allen get up and exit the room. Showtime closes the door behind him and the two walk out. Trent Stonewall now appears leaned against a wall as he watches Allen and Showtime walk to the cafeteria.
Ill have to dispose of this kid somehow...
----------
Scene reopens in a pitch black room. Two Spotlight suddenly appear and begin to figure-eight in front of a black curtain.
Announcer: Ladies and Gentleman... after a one year hiatus... it is my pleasure to present to you... the return of..... THE SHOW!!!!! Live in a special on ice edition!
The curtains open and wondrous large set is shown. The familiar desk and black leather chair occupy the right side on the stage while slightly off stage to the left band leader Marty Lachance is conducting a large 12 piece band. One the stage, which is covered in ice, are 2 figure skating couples, who gracefully spin and dance on the stage.
Announcer: And now... here is the star of The Show... Showtime David Couuuuuugarrrrrr!
The two couples dance off to the side and the spotlights shine onto the back wall. The wall shifts to the side and Showtime glides onto the stage and skids to a dead stop just before the edge. The crowd applauds loudly as Showtime takes a bow and then blows kisses to the audience.
Showtime: Thank you. Thank you. Hello yes and welcome.... welcome... to the return of The Show. I am your host, Showtime God it feels good to be back here on this stage David Cougar!
The crowd roars and continues to applaud.
Now as you can plainly see... there is a large amount of ice on the stage. No this will not be a permanent thing and we wont be exclusively going after the Eskimo viewing audience... although our numbers dont lie in Alaska, Yukon and Northwest Territories, we are a hit. No I thought... given my set has burnt down on more than one occasion, ironically enough both times by me, I figured with a bit of deep chill that this set might be able to survive the red hot show we have for you here tonight.
Showtime skates over to his desk and slowly eases himself into the chair.
Tonight I want to first talk briefly about All or Nothing and then preview my possible match for this weeks Meltdown or Ascension. What is my match this week Marty?
Marty: Tough call boss. Could be anything from S.H.I.T to Jack OLantern.
Well that is just rude Marty. First... I never give a shitty performance. Showtime is definitely not shit. And second Marty... perhaps youve forgotten what month it is since I put this show and your band on hiatus, but there arent any pumpkins on the ground anymore and I certainly am not wrestling with any of your rotting Jack OLantern.
Why not... youve been wrestling with this rotten show of yours for the past several years. I figured maybe you could use some... lighting up.
Du du duh
Well if the lame jokes are over with... my sidekick is correct. This week WZCW presents Meltdown Madness and Ascension Anarchy. And some other show, After Blow or something, god I hope I dont end up on that show, but the fact is every match this week is being randomly selected. Opponents, stipulations, gimmicks, all will be a mystery until we step into the ring.
But first, All or Nothing. What a fantastic PPV. Of course I was victorious, once again putting my career on the line, this time against old man Stan Rogers, and successfully retired that geezer. There were other stuff that happened at All or Nothing as well, besides me if you can believe it. Four title changes and no I didnt win one, for only the third PPV ever I was either not champion going in or didnt leave as champion. Dragon successfully defended the EurAsian Title with twice the help and half the odds of successfully defending. Team Jumps A Lot, Austin Reynolds and Ricky Runn, managed to win the Tag Team titles without jumping a lot. Steven Holmes is right at home as your new Elite X Champion and he may be the best champion weve had since... well since I held that title. And did someone call a Cruz because the Mayhem Title is in Paradyse right now. The Apostles of Chaos had a rough evening for the first time since their formation Kurtesy of a little Action as they were Saboteurd and Ballerd the whole night through. And then there was the main event. Former KFAD Barbosa, a man of of three minds who cashed in at an unexpected time, faced three men, technically, and lost the WZCW Heavyweight Championship to..... Titus.
Titus... your victory... surprising given how youve almost flown off the radar into irrelevance since your return, but whats not surprising is that you were even in this match to begin with. I called it a mile away when I saw it. Show the clip.
A TV lowers from the Ceiling and Showtime plays a clip of his promo before Meltdown 66
I said that about you before our match at Meltdown... our match where I beat you cleanly. Yet I wasnt added to the Main Event at All or Nothing. No my prize, the WZCW Heavyweight Championship, is not to be shared in a multi man contest. Titus your time as champion is already on borrowed time. The way I see it, I should be champion already, not you. 2012 is the start of a new year... a chance for you, for me, for everybody on the roster, to start fresh and have new goals. My goal Titus... is to dethrone you champion. And it could happen this week... it could happen the following... Lethal Lottery... Kingdom Come... it dont matter when... because my future is written for everyone to see. Showtime David Cougar will be WZCW Champion... in 2012. If not well... the end of the world as we know it... will most likely happen.
A hush silence falls from the crowd.
Im kidding of course about the end of the world. God we have a bunch of conspiracists in the audience. There will be no Doomsday in 2012, but will there be a Doomsday match at Meltdown Madness? Or a Fall Count Anywhere Ladder match at Ascension Anarchy? Those two ideas sound absurd but anything is possible this week during the most unpredictable week of WZCW. My opponent could be anyone... a 500 lb Gorilla, an angry british guy, boy we have a lot of those, or even a handicap match verse Ashleigh FalKon and Doug Crashin. Easiest match of the year that one would be but the point is I could be facing anyone on any show in any type of match. So while I could physically dissect everyone on the roster and bore you on and on about why Im better and why I will beat them, Im just going to say a few small accurate words and let you all know how I feel about my chances. Ready... Marty hit the harmonica.
Marty plays a single note on the harmonica.
Everest is in a down slope
Ty Burna aint burning up
Blades a dull knife
Hammonds a dull board
Overlast... well he wont last with those two or against me.
Beckfords really great, but can he win, of course he cant, hes forgotten how
See Reynolds Runn... Run right out the ring
Gonna get a Killjoy out of Tastic, the former Baez gonna fold like plastic
Gorditos never held the gold
Neither has John Constantine
Steele did but then he left, what say he wont again if we fight
Is there a bomb watch? No it's a Brad Bomb match, and everyone's gone.
Sam Smith... plain sounding... Final Act will be his crash landing
Scumm... well hes a bum
Skinner... Ill cook him up for dinner
Stark... Im gonna knock him out of the park
Justin Cooper... Ill turn him into a real blooper
The Internet Warrior... Please... more like The Internet Borrior.
Triple X, Raynes, and Bull... pfft... shit thats what Showtime has to say about those 3 rooks and any man who happens to be unfortunate enough to face me this week. No matter who the opponent is... Showtime will bring the whole highlight reel to the ring and my opponents will be seeing stars as they hear the bell ring after 1... 2... 3 seconds. Ladies and Gentlemen hank you for being part of the return of The Show. We hope this place doesnt catch on fire too quickly as I hope well be back again next week. From all of us at WZCW. I am Showtime David Cougar, and Ill see you this Meltdown when the madness begins.
Stonewall: Tonight... we reclaim what is rightfully ours. Our time away from the main event spotlight in WZCW is over. Tonight we reclaim glory. We show all who oppose us that Showtime is ready to take centre stage again. And to all who view us... they will be left speechless by the performances we are about to deliver.
Lewicki: Showtime Im really excited about tonight. I know for the past several weeks youve been trying to separate yourself from just about everything in your past. Which is why I was surprised that you were going to bring back...
Cougar: Allen... we wouldnt want to spoil the surprise for everybody. Someones always trying to get an inside story in wrestling.
Oh yes... of course. Sorry... I forgot that somebody could be in this room right now listening in on our conversation.
Trent Stonewall lets out a loud laugh to which Showtime smiles and chuckles.
Yes your right Allen. I suppose anybody could be in this room right now.
Trent Stonewall taps Showtimes shoulder and points to Allen.
When are you going to get rid of this monkey, now that Ive returned to reorganize your priorities.
In time... right now its good to have someone who is real around. Might keep me a little more sane.
Did you say something Showtime?
Just mumbling over some notes for tonight. Its been a long time. I do admit Im slightly nervous.
You nervous? Your Showtime David Cougar. The most confident and charismatic superstar in WZCW. Youll knock this one out of the park, just like you always do.
Thanks Allen. Come on, lets go get you that Snow cone youve been asking for before we head out and do this thing.
Alllllright!
Showtime and Allen get up and exit the room. Showtime closes the door behind him and the two walk out. Trent Stonewall now appears leaned against a wall as he watches Allen and Showtime walk to the cafeteria.
Ill have to dispose of this kid somehow...
----------
Scene reopens in a pitch black room. Two Spotlight suddenly appear and begin to figure-eight in front of a black curtain.
Announcer: Ladies and Gentleman... after a one year hiatus... it is my pleasure to present to you... the return of..... THE SHOW!!!!! Live in a special on ice edition!
The curtains open and wondrous large set is shown. The familiar desk and black leather chair occupy the right side on the stage while slightly off stage to the left band leader Marty Lachance is conducting a large 12 piece band. One the stage, which is covered in ice, are 2 figure skating couples, who gracefully spin and dance on the stage.
Announcer: And now... here is the star of The Show... Showtime David Couuuuuugarrrrrr!
The two couples dance off to the side and the spotlights shine onto the back wall. The wall shifts to the side and Showtime glides onto the stage and skids to a dead stop just before the edge. The crowd applauds loudly as Showtime takes a bow and then blows kisses to the audience.
Showtime: Thank you. Thank you. Hello yes and welcome.... welcome... to the return of The Show. I am your host, Showtime God it feels good to be back here on this stage David Cougar!
The crowd roars and continues to applaud.
Now as you can plainly see... there is a large amount of ice on the stage. No this will not be a permanent thing and we wont be exclusively going after the Eskimo viewing audience... although our numbers dont lie in Alaska, Yukon and Northwest Territories, we are a hit. No I thought... given my set has burnt down on more than one occasion, ironically enough both times by me, I figured with a bit of deep chill that this set might be able to survive the red hot show we have for you here tonight.
Showtime skates over to his desk and slowly eases himself into the chair.
Tonight I want to first talk briefly about All or Nothing and then preview my possible match for this weeks Meltdown or Ascension. What is my match this week Marty?
Marty: Tough call boss. Could be anything from S.H.I.T to Jack OLantern.
Well that is just rude Marty. First... I never give a shitty performance. Showtime is definitely not shit. And second Marty... perhaps youve forgotten what month it is since I put this show and your band on hiatus, but there arent any pumpkins on the ground anymore and I certainly am not wrestling with any of your rotting Jack OLantern.
Why not... youve been wrestling with this rotten show of yours for the past several years. I figured maybe you could use some... lighting up.
Du du duh
Well if the lame jokes are over with... my sidekick is correct. This week WZCW presents Meltdown Madness and Ascension Anarchy. And some other show, After Blow or something, god I hope I dont end up on that show, but the fact is every match this week is being randomly selected. Opponents, stipulations, gimmicks, all will be a mystery until we step into the ring.
But first, All or Nothing. What a fantastic PPV. Of course I was victorious, once again putting my career on the line, this time against old man Stan Rogers, and successfully retired that geezer. There were other stuff that happened at All or Nothing as well, besides me if you can believe it. Four title changes and no I didnt win one, for only the third PPV ever I was either not champion going in or didnt leave as champion. Dragon successfully defended the EurAsian Title with twice the help and half the odds of successfully defending. Team Jumps A Lot, Austin Reynolds and Ricky Runn, managed to win the Tag Team titles without jumping a lot. Steven Holmes is right at home as your new Elite X Champion and he may be the best champion weve had since... well since I held that title. And did someone call a Cruz because the Mayhem Title is in Paradyse right now. The Apostles of Chaos had a rough evening for the first time since their formation Kurtesy of a little Action as they were Saboteurd and Ballerd the whole night through. And then there was the main event. Former KFAD Barbosa, a man of of three minds who cashed in at an unexpected time, faced three men, technically, and lost the WZCW Heavyweight Championship to..... Titus.
Titus... your victory... surprising given how youve almost flown off the radar into irrelevance since your return, but whats not surprising is that you were even in this match to begin with. I called it a mile away when I saw it. Show the clip.
A TV lowers from the Ceiling and Showtime plays a clip of his promo before Meltdown 66
Titus... dont think I am not aware of what youve tried to do so stealthily under the radar. Your mouth says you want to fight Ty Burna and Big Dave, but your eyes tell me youre only after one thing, the WZCW World Heavyweight Title...
Titus why else would you have positioned yourself to be in a feud with Barbosa... the man who holds the KFAD Title Contract. It didnt matter who won between Ty and Dave. You werent number 1 contender. You wanted to position yourself in a feud with Barbosa, so if he happen to use it between say now and Lethal Lottery, you could slide your way into the title picture.
I said that about you before our match at Meltdown... our match where I beat you cleanly. Yet I wasnt added to the Main Event at All or Nothing. No my prize, the WZCW Heavyweight Championship, is not to be shared in a multi man contest. Titus your time as champion is already on borrowed time. The way I see it, I should be champion already, not you. 2012 is the start of a new year... a chance for you, for me, for everybody on the roster, to start fresh and have new goals. My goal Titus... is to dethrone you champion. And it could happen this week... it could happen the following... Lethal Lottery... Kingdom Come... it dont matter when... because my future is written for everyone to see. Showtime David Cougar will be WZCW Champion... in 2012. If not well... the end of the world as we know it... will most likely happen.
A hush silence falls from the crowd.
Im kidding of course about the end of the world. God we have a bunch of conspiracists in the audience. There will be no Doomsday in 2012, but will there be a Doomsday match at Meltdown Madness? Or a Fall Count Anywhere Ladder match at Ascension Anarchy? Those two ideas sound absurd but anything is possible this week during the most unpredictable week of WZCW. My opponent could be anyone... a 500 lb Gorilla, an angry british guy, boy we have a lot of those, or even a handicap match verse Ashleigh FalKon and Doug Crashin. Easiest match of the year that one would be but the point is I could be facing anyone on any show in any type of match. So while I could physically dissect everyone on the roster and bore you on and on about why Im better and why I will beat them, Im just going to say a few small accurate words and let you all know how I feel about my chances. Ready... Marty hit the harmonica.
Marty plays a single note on the harmonica.
Everest is in a down slope
Ty Burna aint burning up
Blades a dull knife
Hammonds a dull board
Overlast... well he wont last with those two or against me.
Beckfords really great, but can he win, of course he cant, hes forgotten how
See Reynolds Runn... Run right out the ring
Gonna get a Killjoy out of Tastic, the former Baez gonna fold like plastic
Gorditos never held the gold
Neither has John Constantine
Steele did but then he left, what say he wont again if we fight
Is there a bomb watch? No it's a Brad Bomb match, and everyone's gone.
Sam Smith... plain sounding... Final Act will be his crash landing
Scumm... well hes a bum
Skinner... Ill cook him up for dinner
Stark... Im gonna knock him out of the park
Justin Cooper... Ill turn him into a real blooper
The Internet Warrior... Please... more like The Internet Borrior.
Triple X, Raynes, and Bull... pfft... shit thats what Showtime has to say about those 3 rooks and any man who happens to be unfortunate enough to face me this week. No matter who the opponent is... Showtime will bring the whole highlight reel to the ring and my opponents will be seeing stars as they hear the bell ring after 1... 2... 3 seconds. Ladies and Gentlemen hank you for being part of the return of The Show. We hope this place doesnt catch on fire too quickly as I hope well be back again next week. From all of us at WZCW. I am Showtime David Cougar, and Ill see you this Meltdown when the madness begins.