How young is too young?

[#hamler]

I'm laying in bed texting a friend about girls. Just thinking about life. I realize I love my girlfriend more than I truly thought I could love most. All this thinking sparked a few questions. These questions have nothing to do with me and my girlfriend, they are just to discuss.

1. How young is too young to marry?
There are many that suggest if you're in love, you should marry. Others say thr younger you are, the less your brain is developed, You don't exactly know what love is. Some say that your first long relationship, an individual thinks they're ready. People who marry young are more than likely going to end the relationship after a few years of marriage. So how young is too young to marry?

2. How young is too young to lose your virginity?
When exactly is it ok for you to lose it? Some say it's ok as long as you love this individual. Others may say you should wait until you are married. But with the divorice rate in young couples sky rocketing, what does "waiting 'til married" really suggest? Religion and morals have a lot to do with it. When is too young too lose your virginity?

3. How young is too young to have children?
This ones very touchy. I'm currently a senior in high school and I've known approx. 8 girls who have already become pregnant at my age level. Do I think they were ready? Hell no. They think just because they, um..."Love"..the person they're with means they're ready to bring a human being into this world. I think its the saddest thing to see a kid thrown into protective services because their parents were too foolish to wait until they were ready...truly ready. However, some say it's the individual's right and choice if they want children. Should there be an age limit? How do you stop this "epidemic"?

4. After answering these questions, how would your opinion change if it were your child asking these questions?

Discuss this shit.

 

[Ultra Awesome]

Interesting thread, Hamler.

1. How young is too young to marry?

I don’t think the issue is whether you are too young to marry. I think it has to do with whether you are financially set to be married. I mean, being in love is one thing but money is something totally different. For example, if you marry, where will you live? How will you live? Where is the money going to come from? Do you have the money to support you and your wife?---these are all questions that need to be answered before you get married. Granted, it’s highly doubtful that you will be financially set by the time you’re 18. Reason being because you can’t just live off of minimum wage salary (considering you are either in college or not going to college) and expect not to struggle. Therefore, it’s safe to say you should be around your mid-twenties when you marry if not older.

2. How young is too young to lose your virginity?

Virginity can be lost at any time so long as you are at least 15. I believe once people are 15, they should have the right to screw whoever it is that they want to [that is also under the age of 18, of course]. By the time you’re 15, you should be well aware of what exactly “sex” is and how it’s done. There is also the fact that generally speaking your hormones start to act up more by the time you’re 15; in other words, it is the point in your life when you generally crave as much sex as possible. So really, why not have sex? However, the only thing is that one should be well aware of the consequences sex can bring (i.e. child birth). So best thing to do is use protection; but as long as you got that covered, fire away.

3. How young is too young to have children?

This one is much like the first one. You should have children by the time you think you are financially set for life; You think you can afford your children’s expenses, etc. Though, another thing to keep in mind here, however, is how long you have been married with your spouse. In today’s times, marriages don’t last long because of reasons that should be fairly obvious. But a big problem here is that most of these married couples have children already. So it begs the questions: “What’s to happen to the kids?”, “How will the kids take the break up?”, “Will their parent’s break up affect them mentally?”. Therefore, one should wait about a good 4-5 years before having kids. That way if you haven’t broken up within those 4 years, and you guys still love each other deeply, then I would believe that you guys would be ready to have kids.

4. After answering these questions, how would your opinion change if it were your child asking these questions?

They wouldn’t. I would be completely honest with them and tell them the truths about life. Children have the right to learn all the information required to live life to the fullest and if they are aware of these details then it will only help them succeed more in life. It goes back to the old saying: “Knowledge is power”; and if kids are able to use this knowledge well, then it’s safe to say it will only benefit them. Of course, a parent should guide their children every step of the way as children do tend to make mistakes.


Overall, the answers to these questions don’t necessarily have to do with whether “you are too young or not.” It more or less has to deal with the ol’ DX saying: “Are you ready?” Are you ready as in: Are you ready to get married? Are you ready to have children? Are you even ready to have sex?---this is the way it should go.

 

[Spidey Revivey]

1. How young is too young to marry?

I'm one to think that age doesn't have as much to do with it was maturity does. People have married at age 11 and up. Did these people truly love one another? Hard to say, but odds are somewhere down the line our great-great-great-great-grandmothers were around this age when they were in a committed relationship. Things were different back then, and for the most part they were different because everything was taken seriously.

In today's society not much is really taken seriously compared to "the good ol' days" grandparents like to tell us. We are deeply involved with shit that really doesn't matter (lives of celebrities, etc) and with that comes along the devalue of an institution like marraige.

In my opinion, if you're old enough to cook, clean, work a job, etc then you are old enough to marry. I'd put the marrying age at 15 years of age or so; yes, it sounds young, but then again I did mention how I felt age really had nothing to do with it. As long as the individuals are mature and can handle the responsibilites invested to them, I really don't care how old they are.

2. How young is too young to lose your virginity?

Before and during puberty (if given any age restriction). Children shouldn't really be having sex in the first place; they can't possibly understand why having it at their age can lead to growing up irresponsibly. But we can. I've known too many people that started having sex at an impressionably young age and it lead to teenage pregnancy, diseases, and overall family abandonment. Morality does play a huge card here; if you were brought up with a sense that sex is something to be cherished and special, odds are you might not have it as often. I grew up on these principles, needless to say I didn't lose it at a very young age.

Other people raise their kids differently though, so I can't say they are in the wrong. Once again I must point to the word "Maturity" before giving any calculation of an age.

Maturity goes a long, long way.

3. How young is too young to have children?

Honestly, I think if you're still in high school you shouldn't be having children. Mostly because I consider high schoolers still children for the fact that they couldn't've already experienced "the real world" like a college student has. Odds are the typical high schooler:

1. Still lives with their parents.
2. Has no job, means of pay, etc.
3. Isn't an experienced driver, cook, etc.
4. Minimal social skills.

All of these comes to fruition in college. You're out on your own, keeping up with your money/money given to you, taking care of yourself as well as keeping a social profile (often then naught). These are things that a high schooler doesn't even really think about half the time, because they are generally given the world by their parents. I consider this not mature enough to add another person in the world; why should I think otherwise? I've known too many young girls already knocked up who haven't even experienced life outside of their parents' custody.

If you aren't experienced with the world around you and the ebb and flow of hard work and responsibility, then I don't think you're ready to have a kid.

4. After answering these questions, how would your opinion change if it were your child asking these questions?

All depends on how old said child is really. If I have to tell him "Yes, Santa is real." then I'm most unlikely going to say "Here's some condoms." It's common sense. Children are suppose to be the innocent ones; we are here to slowly and gradually help them become even better adults then what we are. Why thrust so many responsibilities on said kid? This is my main problem with teenage pregnancy- Very few teens even think about what's in the best interest of their "soon to be". I don't want my kid feeling any remorst of not having me around because I was too young to have him.

Back to the original question 'cause I feel I've gone a little off topic. I will decide when it's time to answer such questions like these when boy/girl shows enough maturity to handle the answers. 13+ is fine by my standards; as long as I know for a fact I can trust them.

But then again, teens don't give a shit what a parent thinks half the time. I remember when I was at that age how I wanted to do everything. Guess you have to just watch with a close eye.

 

[Disturbed]

I'm laying in bed texting a friend about girls. Just thinking about life. I realize I love my girlfriend more than I truly thought I could love most. All this thinking sparked a few questions. These questions have nothing to do with me and my girlfriend, they are just to discuss.

Hmmmmm. I wander who that friend is?

1. How young is too young to marry?

I have to agree with many others when I say it has to do with maturity. If you aren't mature enough then you shouldn't marry. I think you should at least be out of High School so you can focus more on the relationship and have less temptations to deal with. Think about it when your still in school and married, you will have to go to school everyday and see more girls. Plus you will be seeing other guys hitting on your girl or just doing shit to piss you off because they know you are married. Then when you are still in school you have to deal with your parents plus the spouses parents because more than likely they won't approve. The main thing is make sure you are ready for it. You need to talk it over and decide what you are going to do before and after marriage that way you are ready for everything.

2. How young is too young to lose your virginity?

With me being a 15 year old boy with hormones from hell, I just say it's your choice. Go out and Fuck whoevery the hell you want but make sure you are prepared for what could happen.

3. How young is too young to have children?

I don't like the idea of abortion so I think if you get pregnant than have the damn baby. You did it so you should take care of it. I have to say just like the marriage thing, you must be out of school and mature. I think that you should talk it over with your spouse before having a baby so you can work out your differences. And never in my opinion is it a good idea to have a baby with someone you aren't married to.

4. After answering these questions, how would your opinion change if it were your child asking these questions?

My opinion is going to change mainly on the virginity one because I wouldn't want my son out fucking every girl he sees. That's about the only one and I would tell him to make sure he loves her first and is prepared for the consequences.

Discuss this shit.

 

[LigerBomb]

As with most broad open ended questions the answers to yours are: "It depends".

It depends on the the people involved. It depends on the specifics of their lives and of their experiences. It depends on their unique skills, strengths, and abilities. It probably depends even more on their faults, weaknesses, and short-comings. In fact, this all reminds me of a song I once heard (allow me to paraphrase):
"Now, the world don't move to the beat of just one drum. What might be right for you, may not be right for some…"
Theme songs aside, if I absolutely had to put legal age limits on these things, I'd say no marriage, sex, or kids (duh) 'til 23 or so. I figure it gives time for the brains of both genders to just about fully develop and hopefully by then a person would have some life experience, common-sense, direction and stability. Of course permissions could perhaps be made if you could pass stringent exams and provide proof of a personal 5–figure income (but that's just because I'd like to cut down on the breeding of the poor and/or stupid).

 

[Dagger Dias]

I got married 3 months ago, I'm 24 and she is 26. People might think we are too young. Age has little to do with it. If you love someone more than anything else in the world, and can support them, then you should go for it. Someone could be in their 30's but if there is no love and/or financial support then they are not ready, whereas a couple who are both still 18 could love each other and might have the financial issue covered. The 18 year olds would be closer to being ready to marry than the couple in their 30's in this example.

The virginity question holds a similar answer. There is no right age for when to lose it. It depends on you as an individual. I lost mine this summer to my wife, after many agonizing frustrating years of waiting. It was worth it though. People don't have to wait until they get married. They should wait until they are ready. Whether you are ready or not is up to you. Then there's the issue of those who don't get the choice regarding if they want to wait or not, in my opinion the first time you choose to do it is when you truly "lose" it. If you want to wait til your married, great. If you don't want to, then wait until you are ready. If you've been waiting then it is worth saving for someone really special. The first time is akward for everyone, no matter if you waited or not, but you can make the moment mean more by waiting for someone who you feel deserves to take it from you.

There is also no age that's the right age to have children. It should not happen until you are financially able to support a family. I am not at the moment, so I definitely don't plan on having kids yet. People have kids that they are not able to support financially and then are too stubborn or proud to get help.

It's less about "how young is too young" and more about if the individual is ready both financially and emotionally, for every single one of these questions. The answer will be different for each of us depending on our financially status and how we feel about the situation emotionally. My answer would not change if it was about my child instead of me, these are among the values I would try to teach them.

 

[People's Champ]

1. How young is too young to marry?

It depends on maturity. Marriage is a big step, and is not to be taken lightly. I was raised that once you decide to get married, its a permanant move. You made a vow before your friends, family, and God that you would stick to it no matter what. And I firmly believe that. So, you have to be ready for what marriage brings. You no longer think for yourself, but rather for two. Decisions are no longer up to yourself only. Can you handle that? Asking friends who are married what its like can help you understand exactly what it means.

2. How young is too young to lose your virginity?

I'm a firm believe in that sex is something special and should be saved for when you are married. Its the one true gift you can give your marriage mate. Of course, this answer is completely dependent on your view of marriage. I believe in marriage and waiting until you're married.

3. How young is too young to have children?

Watch programs like "Teen Mom" and you will see the problem with having kids when you aren't ready. You not only need to be able to take care of them finacially, but also emotionally. You need patience, you need to be able to give living for you and think about your kids. A lot of people think that its not a big deal, that they can handle it. But the facts are it is. You have been entrusted with rasing another human being. Its sad seeing kids grow up in households where the parents rather go party than be home and spend time with their kids. It takes a certain maturity level along with finacial securityto raise kids.

As for your question about this "epidemic" being stopped? No it can't. Parents have stopped being parents and are giving in to their kids. Instead of being taught the value of waiting, parents just say "Well they are going to have sex anyways, might as well teach them about protection." Wrong, that's not the way to do it. This is going off on a whole other subject about parenting, but the point is its the parents' job to teach their kids, and they are going about it the wrong way.

 

[Cena's Little Helper]

1. How young is too young to marry?

If you or your wife can't financially support yourselves and build meaningful lives with each other, you're too young to marry.

2. How young is too young to lose your virginity?

You're ready to have sex when you go to college. Your kid having sex in your house while he/she's still living off of your dime and still in compulsory education is totally disrespectful. Kids should achieve semi-independence before they start fucking like rabbits like they're wont to do.

3. How young is too young to have children?

When you can support them and not depend on anyone else to rear your child (save for its mother or father), then you're old enough to have a kid. I knew this one girl in college who had a kid but was still having a great social life by being in a sorority. While she had no problem having the kid, she obviously had a problem with the consequences; while she was out partying, her relatives were raising the kid. I can't even begin to tell you how much this bothered me.

4. After answering these questions, how would your opinion change if it were your child asking these questions?

My opinion wouldn't change.

 

[SalvIsWin]

I'm a firm believe in that sex is something special and should be saved for when you are married. Its the one true gift you can give your marriage mate. Of course, this answer is completely dependent on your view of marriage. I believe in marriage and waiting until you're married.

Off-topic but, what would you do in hypothetical situation that you marry a woman, and then you find out that you two cannot connect sexually?

 

[Cena's Little Helper]

Off-topic but, what would you do in hypothetical situation that you marry a woman, and then you find out that you two cannot connect sexually?

This is a moot point because giving a woman an orgasm isn't rocket science. An adult with the mental capacity and coordination of a 2-year-old could get a woman off with either his hands or mouth.

 

[Richard]

1. How young is too young to marry?

If your age ends in "teen", then you are too young. I don't think that young people who are 16, 17 etc should settle down with the first person they fall in "love" with. Yes, you can get serious with them, but it's not a wise move to marry someone when you are young and you have not experienced living with that person for an extended period of time. To marry someone, you have to truely know them and about them in all aspects of life and what it would be like to marry them. I think moving in with someone is more important than marrying them because advice I have gotten from people is "Putting a ring on someone's finger isn't a garantee they'll be less messy, less rude, etc". I think mid twenties is when you should worry about marriage.

2. How young is too young to lose your virginity?

It depends on the person really. I don't beleive in waiting until marriage but you should atleast be in a serious relationship with someone and make sure the other person understands the seriousness of your first time. I lost mine at 17 and looking back now, I wish I had waited, I really do. I thought I knew her, but she never told me what a ****e she was, so looking back and realising I lost it with someone who didn't have the same views on it that I do, I wish I hadn't. If you don't care about it that much and don't care about the significance of it, then fine, do whoever you want but if you do, you have to be careful.

3. How young is too young to have children?

If you're still in an education system, then you shouldn't be having kids. Once you finish college/university and have a secure job and are financially secure, then you can think about it. It would not be fair on the child to bring them up in crappy conditions where you can't give them what they need and/or provide a good atmosphere at home. I'd say under 20 is definately out of the question. Before you have kids, you first must enjoy your own youth and live your youth life to its fullest before wondering about another life.

4. After answering these questions, how would your opinion change if it were your child asking these questions?

Depends how old they are. If they are in their late teens then no, I would tell them how it is.

 

[LSN80]

1. How young is too young to marry?.

I don't think there's a subjective answer to this question. You really have to look at so many variables, and age really isn't one of them. Maturity, financial stability, and knowing that you've met the person that's right for you is far more important then establishing as set age, or being in love. You need to be able to support yourself, and even "surprises" that may come along, such as kids. If you decide to marry, you need to be financially stable and mature enough to make responsible, independent decisions.

2. How young is too young to lose your virginity?

Gosh, this is a tough one. Im 28, and Id tell anyone younger then me to "wait until marriage." Why? Because of personal experience. Im married myself, have been for 3 years. But I lost my virginity at a young age, and lost respect for each woman I slept with after doing so. A few of them, I felt I was in love with. And it wasn't as if the sex was bad, I just lost respect for them, and in some ways, myself. Maybe it's because of how I was raised, or my beliefs, but Id tell anyone who asked me to "wait." Thats just based on my personal experience and current values however.

3. How young is too young to have children?

There is no age. This would be another heavy handed way of government legislating morals, which they shouldn't do. But again, I think one should be able to be financially stable and emotionally mature enough to have children before they do. This goes back to the last 2 questions, in essence. If you're not financially stable or mature enough to have kids, you shouldn't marry or have children.

4. After answering these questions, how would your opinion change if it were your child asking these questions?

I would sit down with my son/daughter and honestly tell them my story. I would tell them of the heartbreaks and loss i experienced and caused as a result of the mistakes I made. I would tell them the things I said above. I would want my children to wait until marriage, but understand how hard it is in this society and culture. But I would discuss maturity, and financial stability, and explain to my children how important those things are to being able to have a successful marriage, children, or a healthy sex life.

 

[SalvIsWin]

This is a moot point because giving a woman an orgasm isn't rocket science. An adult with the mental capacity and coordination of a 2-year-old could get a woman off with either his hands or mouth.

This isn't a moot point. Talk to any woman and she will tell you that an oral orgasm isn't remotely the same thing as a penetration orgasm. A man have fingers, a mouth, and a penis, and a woman having a vagina aren't the only requirements to a happy sex life. There are plenty of couples who go to counselling, or break up because sex is a very important part of a relationship, and if they don't connect at that level, they aren't going to work out.

Furthermore, it's not just about the woman, it's about the man. All women don't feel the same, and it's entirely possible that the woman you're dating simply itself that satisfying for you. I would find this an issue.

 

[Cena's Little Helper]

This isn't a moot point. Talk to any woman and she will tell you that an oral orgasm isn't remotely the same thing as a penetration orgasm. A man have fingers, a mouth, and a penis, and a woman having a vagina aren't the only requirements to a happy sex life. There are plenty of couples who go to counselling, or break up because sex is a very important part of a relationship, and if they don't connect at that level, they aren't going to work out.

Furthermore, it's not just about the woman, it's about the man. All women don't feel the same, and it's entirely possible that the woman you're dating simply itself that satisfying for you. I would find this an issue.

Sex is one of the most fixable things in any relationship, it's just that people don't want to admit that they're bad in bed (or their partner doesn't want to hurt their feelings).

Honesty is the most important thing in a relationship. If you aren't sexually satisfied and you're in a healthy relationship, then you can be honest with your partner and fix things within a matter of minutes.

Thus, this is a moot point.

 

[SalvIsWin]

Sex is one of the most fixable things in any relationship, it's just that people don't want to admit that they're bad in bed (or their partner doesn't want to hurt their feelings).

Honesty is the most important thing in a relationship. If you aren't sexually satisfied and you're in a healthy relationship, then you can be honest with your partner and fix things within a matter of minutes.

Thus, this is a moot point.

I don't want to go even further off-topic, so I'll end this aside now with simply stating I thoroughly disagree, and feel your oversimplifying a problem that many couples have.

 

[Cena's Little Helper]

I don't want to go even further off-topic, so I'll end this aside now with simply stating I thoroughly disagree, and feel your oversimplifying a problem that many couples have.

No, I'm not oversimplifying a problem, and I'm addressing this issue right now because YOU brought it up in an attempt to condescend to someone who has decided to wait until marriage.

What exactly do you know about sex? Are you a certified sexologist, or are you a trained anatomist? I can't even begin to fathom the amount of products and services made for sexual gratification and performance. From pharmaceuticals to instructional tapes to toys, if you can think of it, it's probably out there. When it comes to sex, the only thing that can't be rectified is an unwillingness to try.

So, I'll reiterate what I said earlier and add some clarification: waiting until marriage is a moot point. Sexual incompatibility is only going to be huge problem if one's too prideful to admit one's shortcomings and too conservative when it comes to sex.

 

[SalvIsWin]

Sexual incompatibility is only going to be huge problem if one's too prideful to admit one's shortcomings and too conservative when it comes to sex.

This is what you typed that's actually relevant, and I don't agree with you at all. To say 'too conservative' is ridiculous, that's your own subjective opinion. You're in no position to say what's too conservative or too liberal when it comes to sex. You're suggesting that any two people can be perfectly compatible if you simply buy enough toys, or open your mind up to whatever the opposite of too conservative sex is.

You're comfort level for sex probably isn't exactly the same as mine, which probably isn't exactly the same as someone elses. What one person likes, doesn't like, or is satisfied by isn't the same for the next person. I would be confident in saying that any one who has had sex before would probably agree that there is a certain level of adjustment that both people have to make in every new relationship. Sometimes that adjustment is more than other times, and sometimes people are just on a different level. What you're saying would have to imply that either people don't need to adjust, or that there isn't scenarios where people simply do not meet sexually that way and it doesn't work out. I would disagree that this is a problem you can solve by just simply throwing enough lube or *****s at it.

That entire argument doesn't even begin to get into the physical limitations that can occur. Simply put, a lot of females are not satisfied by their partners size, and a lot of males aren't satisfied by the fit that they share with their partner. You suggested performance enhancing supplements, or toys, or videos? Sure that could help, and it might not, it's not simply a matter of putting your pride aside to admit you don't know what you're doing, or having to ask for instruction.

To be honest, I was just asking my original question as an aside because I was personally curious of the mindset that people have when they decide to wait for marriage. I don't see the logic, whereas I can see the potential pitfalls, so I'm interested. I'm not really interested in continuing this because I don't really care one way or another, it's not a topic I would probably even post in if it were its own thread. I'm inclined to just agree to disagree and let it die.

 

[ABMorales787]

1. How young is too young to marry?

Young? Well, when you are in age to have sexual relationships. I was gonna say "you're never too young too get married", but there's obviously something wrong with that. There is a difference between being too young and too unstable. You could even be 35 but if you don't have the capability, life stability or money to support your significant other, it's not really a good idea.

2. How young is too young to lose your virginity?

I'd go with waiting until you are married. Which goes on par with becoming sexually active. Being married should mean that you are capable of supporting a family. So you are willing to take that extra step that might lead to a new family member because you know you can support him/her.

3. How young is too young to have children?

I don't think youth and maturity are the same thing. After 12 years of being an only child, my sister was born. I had to help out, feeding her, changing diapers, bathing her, babysitting and such. It's not something most people my age experience while having a full family's support and not having to financially compensate. I had the opportunity in life to learn how to raise a child without it actually being yours or your direct responsibility. Meanwhile, my classmates may have the same age as me, but they don't have the level of experience I do.

4. After answering these questions, how would your opinion change if it were your child asking these questions?

Just like I've been told. Get a good job. Which means get a good education. From there off you go. Make sure your life is perfectly stable before you go adding weight on it.