Saturday Night’s Main Event 17 Date: October 29, 1988 Location: Baltimore Arena, Baltimore, Maryland Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jesse Ventura So we’re still in the Savage reign here and this is the last major show before Survivor Series. That being said, nothing of note is on the card. This looks really weak to say the least so I guess it’s one of those shows we just have to get through. I hate them too but then again I’m trying to do every major show ever so I have to get these two I guess. Let’s get to it. Jake Roberts says Rick Rude will know pain but never some pleasures, implying Jake’s wife who is next to him. More on that later. Rude disagrees. Boss Man is here to enforce the laws. Not as good as beatings will continue until morale improves. The Hart Foundation say they’ll win the tag titles. Neidhart says hell. Demolition is ready for the Harts. Hogan says he’s the real king, not Haku. Liz is with him. Let me hear some theme music! Jesse is in a SUIT. Wow that’s weird looking. Haku is defending his crown against Hogan. Why do I think we won’t see King Hogan? We recap Roberts vs. Rude. The idea is that Rude had a gimmick going of giving a woman a kiss after his matches. He picked a woman in the front row and she declined. She said her husband was a pro wrestler. His name is Jake Roberts. Rude started wearing tights with Cheryl’s face on the crotch and ass. Jake literally ripped them off of him and it was censored. In reality he was wearing a thong but you get the idea. Rude says he’s never embarrassed of his body. Heenan talks about snake charmers hypnotizing snakes and hypnotizes Gene until Rude shouts RUDE AWAKENING. Funny. Jake and his wife say really generic stuff. Jake Roberts vs. Rick Rude What a natural paring this is. No theme music for Jake yet. Rude is wearing those tights again. Jake goes for the tights nearly immediately. Is Cheryl not satisfying him? I’ve watched nearly six minutes of this match and there’s just nothing to say about it. Cheryl gets thrown out for slapping Rude. Vince saying that she shouldn’t be because it didn’t hurt him is very funny for some reason. Jesse goes on a rant about Vince playing favorites and it’s just freaking boring. I don’t know why but this just isn’t interesting at all. It’s not bad or anything. It’s just not getting my attention at all. Rude dominates for the most part with Jake just punching and looking for the DDT. Rude Awakening is blocked. Jake totally fakes him out by pulling back a punch and there’s the DDT. Instead of the cover though he goes for the tights. Heenan comes in for the DQ. And here’s Andre, who would beat RVD in any match they had I think should be mentioned, to beat Jake up. Jake gets the snake out and since Andre is a heel, he’s terrified of it. The look on Andre’s face is priceless. Jake throws the snake at him in a smart move. Andre then has a heart attack. WOW. Rating: D+. Not bad, but just not that interesting really at all. They would have what I guess was supposed to be the other big match at Mania 5 but this was just not a very good match. Oh yeah Rude was involved here. Yeah I couldn’t really care less. Match was ok though. The Harts talk about Jimmy Hart rather than Demolition. They more or less just turned face. Jimmy Hart says Demolition will win the tag match. This was a REALLY short partnership. Fuji is still there too. The closeups of Demolition’s faces are creepy. Tag Titles: Hart Foundation vs. Demolition No entrances for the challengers. The Harts that is. Smash vs. Neidhart starts us off. I don’t think Demolition has ever lost on TV before. At least not by pin. This has nothing on Summerslam 90. The fans seem unsure who to cheer for. Also, Bret is called a powerful young man. Ok then. Anvil comes in and cleans house. This isn’t that interesting at all. Vince says you can feel the titles about to change, sealing the titles’ safety. The Rougeaus are here for no apparent reason. They throw in the Megaphone for the shot on Neidhart so Demolition retains. Rating: D+. Again, not bad but just not interesting at all. This was just to have a title match on the show and nothing else. This whole show just feels completely uninteresting and thrown together. To be fair though, how much do you expect them to do this close to a PPV? We see the spot that more or less ended Race’s career. Bobby talks about how Haku is going to beat Hogan. Right. They trick Gene into bowing. Pointless. Hogan says he won’t bow to Haku. Liz says they have to go. King Haku vs. Hulk Hogan Remember, this is FOR THE CROWN as they mentioned earlier. Bets on Hogan winning and not being king? Haku jumps him and you can smell the comeback from here. Yep there it is. I’d also bet on a shot from Haku taking him down to set up the inevitable. Hey what do you know I’m right. Heenan gets taken out and not a lot of people care. Haku hits a suplex for two, and now Hogan can’t get hurt. I’m not wasting my finger energy on filling in the ending here. Rating: D+. Standard Hogan match but just lackluster. To be fair though, no one believed Haku would win here and it was just to get him on the TV show. Why mess with what works I suppose. Nothing great at all, but certainly watchable and bearable. Dino Bravo is ready for Ken Patera. Oh joy. Patera says he’s really strong. Dino Bravo vs. Ken Patera Patera had been given the advice to retire by Monsoon on commentary. Literally, Gorilla said he needs to retire due to a lack of skill. This is pretty bad. Patera can only do basic strongman stuff and just tries to get the Full Nelson. Side Slam ends this in like three minutes, most of which was punching. Rating: F+. You could always tell when SNME was ending as the matches just started to suck and have no purpose. This was definitely one of those occasions. This just was bad in general and Patera would be gone really soon, likely for his own good. Slick says Boss Man is awesome. He was new around this time. He was also far fatter than he usually was. Big Boss Man vs. Jim Powers No entrance for Powers of course. Seeing the massive pit stains on Boss Man is kind of funny. Standard squash formula as Boss Man beats on him for a few minutes until the quick offense does nothing but set up the Boss Man Slam. Nightstick attack follows. Rating: N/A. Just a nice little squash to make Boss Man look good. Not a thing wrong with that either. He would get a nice little push very soon too, including knocking Hogan out of the next Rumble. We see clips of Boss Man beating Hogan up on the Brother Love Show. Hogan calls him out. Yeah this was the next big feud for Hogan after Savage. Actually he had two mini feuds with Boss Man, which was odd. We go to Jesse with Andre and Heenan. Andre doesn’t like having his fear of snakes being mentioned. Heenan’s rant is pretty funny. And that’s it. Overall Rating: F. This was bad. There was nothing at all of note on here and only minor feuds were really started. Jake and Andre was a big deal but the blowoff wasn’t for over five months. This just wasn’t a good show at all. Survivor Series hadn’t even been mentioned yet and just nothing happened. Total throwaway show that went nowhere at all.