klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
There are a few additions and a lot of subtractions this year.
Last year and the year before that, I have wondered something: what does putting a person in a casket have to do with wrestling? How about making someone bleed? Or putting someone through a table? None of those things or a lot of the absurd gimmick matches prove a damn thing, and I feel they have no place in this or any legitimate wrestling tournament. In selecting the gimmicks this year, I have done my best to get things down to at least having an element of tradition professional wrestling in it. Some of these are a bit odd, but when you think about them, I think you'll agree that these changes are for the better.
1. Singles Match
No gimmick here, just a standard one on one match. If you can't win one of these, you have no business being here anyway.
2. Steel Cage
The original gimmick match and the best when it's done right. We're going old school here and using the big blue cage because it's cooler looking and I'm an old school guy and I'm running this thing so I'm picking it. You can win by escape only, and there is a top on the cage.
3. I Quit
You make the other guy give up. How much more simplistic can I make this?
4. Ultimate Submission
Iron man match but only win by submission. You may not leave the ring more than once. If you leave a second time by your own free will, you are penalized a fall.
5. 2/3 Falls
Standard 2 out of 3 Falls match, all of which are standard wrestling matches.
6. Hardcore
You know the drill on this one I'm sure. Why call it a Monster's Ball or Falls Count Anywhere match when this is what it boils down to?
7. Ladder
I don't like it in here but it's a staple of wrestling and would be wrong to leave out.
8. Pure Rules
This is ROH's contribution to wrestling. There are 20 counts outside the ring instead of 10 and you can only use the ropes to escape three times in the match. There are no closed fists. If you throw one, you receive a warning. If you throw a second, you lose a rope break. If you have none left, you are disqualified.
9. Dog Collar
Two men are bound by the neck by a dog collar with a chain between them. Pinfall is the only way to win. For a great example of how brutal these can be, check out the original Starrcade and Piper vs. Valentine. It's a great match if nothing else.
10. Object on a Pole
The object is metal and the pole is ten feet high, starting at the top of the ring post. The object doesn't really matter that much when you think about it.
11. Embarrassment
This is an idea a buddy of mine came up with many years ago. The idea here is you can only use the opponent's finishing move to get a pin. The move will be announced prior to the match. Also, only one move per wrestler and the move will be their most well known move. In other words, I know that HHH used a Diamond Cutter when he debuted in 1995. I also don't care because he uses a Pedigree to win matches. Also for a guy like Big Show that uses two moves, in this case the punch and the chokeslam, it would be the chokeslam as that is by far and away more well known and has brought him his greatest success.
12. Street Fight
Hardcore match but pinfalls can only occur in the ring. Simple and brutal if done right.
13. Catch As Catch Can Classic
You've heard JR talk about it for years and now you get one. This is WAY old school. If you leave the ring, you are disqualified. Only a one count is needed for a pin. There are rounds instead of a continuous match. This is about as close to Olympic style wrestling as you can get, but it is wrestling in its purest form.
14. First Pain
There is another name for this but it's 2am so I don't remember it. The idea here is that before you can attempt a pin or a submission, the opponent must be bleeding. In the words of Earl Hebner, a cut on the head is not bleeding. You must be wearing a crimson mask.
15. Last Man Standing
If you've watched WWE in the last 2 years or so, you know the idea.
16. Viewer's Choice
The idea here is that the posters get to pick. Between the draw on Friday and the matches being posted on Monday, a poll will be set up where the posters get to choose the gimmick from the ones offered.
Note: these are subject to change at a moment's notice as well as general public outrage over any of my ideas.
Any questions?
Last year and the year before that, I have wondered something: what does putting a person in a casket have to do with wrestling? How about making someone bleed? Or putting someone through a table? None of those things or a lot of the absurd gimmick matches prove a damn thing, and I feel they have no place in this or any legitimate wrestling tournament. In selecting the gimmicks this year, I have done my best to get things down to at least having an element of tradition professional wrestling in it. Some of these are a bit odd, but when you think about them, I think you'll agree that these changes are for the better.
1. Singles Match
No gimmick here, just a standard one on one match. If you can't win one of these, you have no business being here anyway.
2. Steel Cage
The original gimmick match and the best when it's done right. We're going old school here and using the big blue cage because it's cooler looking and I'm an old school guy and I'm running this thing so I'm picking it. You can win by escape only, and there is a top on the cage.
3. I Quit
You make the other guy give up. How much more simplistic can I make this?
4. Ultimate Submission
Iron man match but only win by submission. You may not leave the ring more than once. If you leave a second time by your own free will, you are penalized a fall.
5. 2/3 Falls
Standard 2 out of 3 Falls match, all of which are standard wrestling matches.
6. Hardcore
You know the drill on this one I'm sure. Why call it a Monster's Ball or Falls Count Anywhere match when this is what it boils down to?
7. Ladder
I don't like it in here but it's a staple of wrestling and would be wrong to leave out.
8. Pure Rules
This is ROH's contribution to wrestling. There are 20 counts outside the ring instead of 10 and you can only use the ropes to escape three times in the match. There are no closed fists. If you throw one, you receive a warning. If you throw a second, you lose a rope break. If you have none left, you are disqualified.
9. Dog Collar
Two men are bound by the neck by a dog collar with a chain between them. Pinfall is the only way to win. For a great example of how brutal these can be, check out the original Starrcade and Piper vs. Valentine. It's a great match if nothing else.
10. Object on a Pole
The object is metal and the pole is ten feet high, starting at the top of the ring post. The object doesn't really matter that much when you think about it.
11. Embarrassment
This is an idea a buddy of mine came up with many years ago. The idea here is you can only use the opponent's finishing move to get a pin. The move will be announced prior to the match. Also, only one move per wrestler and the move will be their most well known move. In other words, I know that HHH used a Diamond Cutter when he debuted in 1995. I also don't care because he uses a Pedigree to win matches. Also for a guy like Big Show that uses two moves, in this case the punch and the chokeslam, it would be the chokeslam as that is by far and away more well known and has brought him his greatest success.
12. Street Fight
Hardcore match but pinfalls can only occur in the ring. Simple and brutal if done right.
13. Catch As Catch Can Classic
You've heard JR talk about it for years and now you get one. This is WAY old school. If you leave the ring, you are disqualified. Only a one count is needed for a pin. There are rounds instead of a continuous match. This is about as close to Olympic style wrestling as you can get, but it is wrestling in its purest form.
14. First Pain
There is another name for this but it's 2am so I don't remember it. The idea here is that before you can attempt a pin or a submission, the opponent must be bleeding. In the words of Earl Hebner, a cut on the head is not bleeding. You must be wearing a crimson mask.
15. Last Man Standing
If you've watched WWE in the last 2 years or so, you know the idea.
16. Viewer's Choice
The idea here is that the posters get to pick. Between the draw on Friday and the matches being posted on Monday, a poll will be set up where the posters get to choose the gimmick from the ones offered.
Note: these are subject to change at a moment's notice as well as general public outrage over any of my ideas.
Any questions?