*enviousdominous sits on his sofa with a glazed look as he'd just spent the last nine hours browsing Twitter for excuses to be outraged* ED: WHAT THE FUCK!!? *enviousdominous reads a few tweets from Donald Trump* ED: Oh, this will not stand. *enviousdominous storms out of his apartment, and drives at breakneck speed to his local news-station* ED: Now that I'm here, I better go inside. *enviousdominous goes inside, and spears the weatherman while in the middle of the morning news* ED: THAT'S WHAT I THINK OF YOU TRUMP! *The entire world shares a long gasp as they all coincidentally chose to watch the weather on the same local news-station* ED: OH, BUT I'M NOT DONE YET! *enviousdominous proceeds to <redacted by CraveOnline Media>* ED: AND NOW I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY ABOUT MY LOOSELY RELATED PERSONAL BELIEFS REGARDING A LARGE DEMOGRAPHIC OF PEOPLE! *enviousdominous shrieks a diatribe meant to ridicule the <redacted by CraveOnline Media> and their ancestors the <redacted by CraveOnline Media>* ED: THINK YOU CAN SHUT ME OUT BY TURNING THE VOLUME DOWN OR BY BEING DEAF!? WELL HERE'S A VISUAL FOR YOU! *enviousdominous callously displays a <redacted by CraveOnline Media> with his <redacted by CraveOnline Media>* ED: YOU THINK I'M DONE!? *Donald Trump shows up to the studio and faces enviousdominous* ED: WHAT, ARE YOU HERE TO <redacted by CraveOnline Media> WHILE I <redacted by CraveOnline Media>!? DT: Maybe later, but first I'd like to invite you to wear my shoes for a day just to see what it's like being The President. ED: Yeah, your shoes might not work for that purpose. *Donald Trump takes off his shoes* DT: Put on the shoes. *some stuff happens* ED: Okay, I may have gone a bit too far with that stuff I did. DT: No, no, your stuff didn't compare to my stuff. That's why they put us both in jail. ED: If only there had been a disclaimer. DT: You know what we have to do now? ED: Sit here and wait out our fifty consecutive life sentences? DT: No, follow my lead. *some other stuff happens* ED: WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED!? DT: Oh my God, okay. Maybe I didn't think that one through. ED: YOU THINK!? NOW WE'RE STRANDED ON MARS! DT: Hey, look at it this way. Now we can populate the... oh wait. ED: THIS IS BAD! THIS IS VERY VERY BAD! DT: Look, I have another plan. Just follow my lead. *time passes* ED: WE'RE STILL ON MARS! YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING! DT: Has anyone ever told you that you're a very uptight person? *more time passes* ED: Well Donald, we're back on Earth safe and sound with our criminal records cleared. And all it took to get the ball rolling was for me to come to terms with my explosive fits of rage. DT: And all I had to do was stop using Twitter. ED: Isn't it amazing what wondrous things can occur with the power of positivity? DT: Positivity? What the Hell is that? ED: Oh, you know. It's a word. DT: One that you made up obviously. ED: Oh, look who's talking Mr. COVFEFE! DT: I should have known that a liberal like you would still be thinking about that typo. ED: I AM NOT A FUCKING LIBERAL! *so much stuff happens that the universe implodes on itself and all of the known universe is ejected into another region of deep space where the great cycle begins again and billions of years pass* ED: I'm just going to sit on my comfy sofa and browse twitter for ten minutes before I take my rage medicine.