Because It's So Fashionable

[Harthan]

I run the election. I can't vote.

Will you endorse me, at least?

What is the difference between Jonathan Taylor Thomas and Haley Joel Osment?

I think at least one is female.

What on earth was man trying to do when he discovered that cows made milk?

Get milk.

If you mixed Coca-Cola with pepsi, what will happen?

The entropy of the universe will increase.

A telemarketer keeps calling my house at 6:30 in the morning and will not stop. What should I do?[/QUOTE

Murder his entire family.

I found out that my friends intentionally did not invite me to a party. What do I do?

Murder their families.

Why does Daddy hit Mommy?

She just needs to be taught a lesson, sometimes.

Can you tell me why Paris Hilton still exists?

She eats food, drinks liquids, her heart beats, so on, so forth.

I was bit by a spider. Am I going to die, or will I become a superhero, run around in tights, save the world while fending off my normal everyday problems?

Neither. You will have an irritating red bump for a few days.

How come there are no genetically altered giraffes that can shoot lasers out of their eyes while back flipping on a trampoline and ejaculating grenades?

Biologists have pondered this question for years.

What are the ingredients of Mountain Dew?

Dew, from a mountain. It could be from a hill, too. But only a tall one.

What was your reaction to the infamous "2 Girls, 1 Cup" video?

I have the weirdest boner right now.

Were you the inspiration for the smash Nickelodeon series "Doug"?

Yes, yes I was.

If you rape a prostitute, is it rape or just theft?

Both. Double-whammy.

Whatever happened to the Taco Bell Chihuahua? Did Ted Turner rape him?

Can you see why kids love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch?

No. And furthermore, these don't taste like apples. What the hell, cereal.

Is Hillary Swank really a man in disguise?

Unlikely, but I'll have to probe her vagina.

If the person who controls time is "Father Time" and the person who controls nature is "Mother Earth", then what does that make "Aunt Jemima" and "Uncle Ben"?

The gods of syrup and rice.

Once I saw a blind woman at the subway wearing a watch. How come she's wearing a watch if she can't see?

She likes the ticking noise.

Is it actually possible to sweat Gatorade?

Highly unlikely.

Are you gay?

I wish.

What is the most effective way to kill a Furby?

Take the batteries out.

I think I do not exist and I think I came from my imagination. What should I do?

Simply lie down, and wait to die.

 

[klunderbunker]

What is your analysis of the Central States Wrestling tag titles from 1974-1976?

 

[Harthan]

What is your analysis of the Central States Wrestling tag titles from 1974-1976?

Should have given the titles to CM Punk. All of them, all the titles.

 

[klunderbunker]

Thoughts on OCW?

 

[Harthan]

Thoughts on OCW?

I wish I had kept up more when it was around. I miss it now.

 

[klunderbunker]

Greatest tag team in WWE (not WWF) history.

 

[Harthan]

Greatest tag team in WWE (not WWF) history.

Not a lot, I make it a toss up between John Morrison and the Miz and JeriShow. The former for longevity, the latter for impact. Most regular tag teams since the name change have been lackluster, however.

 

[klunderbunker]

And there goes any chance you had of winning this.

 

[Harthan]

And there goes any chance you had of winning this.

Come now, there's no other candidates that blow them out of the water. There are pairings that might have been better for a shorter period of time, but I prefer some longevity to my teams before I go calling them great.

EDIT: I will amend my original list to include WGTT. In my defense, it is 6 AM and I haven't slept much.

EDIT2: Alright, ignore everything I said. Christ, I need to sleep. WGTT, Los Guerreros, more appropriate contenders.

 

[klunderbunker]

I'm sorry, we were looking for LA RE-FREAKING-SISTANCE you schnook.

 

[Harthan]

I'm sorry, we were looking for LA RE-FREAKING-SISTANCE you schnook.

I don't feel as bad about getting the question wrong now.

 

[klunderbunker]

You do have a chance to make it up:

Define klunderbunker.

 

[Harthan]

KB comes from a tv show that used to air in the mid 90s called You Wish. There was an episode where the main character went to a festival called Klunderbuck. I misunderstood him and thought he said Klunderbunk. Being the random person that makes the most ridiculous references ever, I referred to any project I was working on as Operation Klunderbunk. When I got AIM, a friend of mine was helping me come up with a name and suggested Klunderbunker since I was always talking about Operation Klunderbunk.

Do I win?

 

[klunderbunker]

Read the post beneath that one.

 

[Harthan]

Read the post beneath that one.

Ninja'd

 

[klunderbunker]

You know it doesn't work that well when I can read the edits.

 

[Harthan]

You know it doesn't work that well when I can read the edits.

Yeah...

Nevertheless.

Do I win?

 

[klunderbunker]

That would be the same answer to the question of how do I look in this red hat, galoshes and a Cleveland Indians thong.

 

[Harthan]

That would be the same answer to the question of how do I look in this red hat, galoshes and a Cleveland Indians thong.

Incredibly attractive?

That's not a good answer to a yes/no question.

 

[klunderbunker]

the only answer to looking at me dressed like that is yes.

 

[Harthan]

the only answer to looking at me dressed like that is yes.

Well hot damn.

Can I count on you for a ringing endorsement in the upcoming election?

 

[klunderbunker]

I'm admin/running the election. I can't endorse anyone.

 

[Harthan]

I'm admin/running the election. I can't endorse anyone.

Okay, but unofficially. Just let people know, you know, Harthan is a great guy. Harthan would be a great mod. Harthan doesn't have any bodies in the basement. If you could just work those phrases into your conversation.

Alternatively, I will accept a vote for me as Return of the Year, because I am all about the imaginary Internet awards.

 

[klunderbunker]

Considering I'm one of two people that picks mods that go on staff, I think that won't be necessary.

 

[Harthan]

Considering I'm one of two people that picks mods that go on staff, I think that won't be necessary.

I don't know what this sentence means, and it is probably related to the inability to feel sensation in three of my fingers.