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Beach Blast 1993
Date: July 18, 1993
Location: Mississippi Coast Coliseum, Biloxi, Mississippi
Attendance: 8,600
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Jesse Ventura
This is still in the lost years for WCW, as they just had no idea what they were doing. British Bulldog is here now to be the number two face in the company after Sting. The main event tonight is Sting and Bulldog vs. Sid and Vader. The real main event though is Flair trying to win the NWA World Title. WCW would leave the NWA on September 1 thank goodness to end this annoying stuff they kept doing. The card looks pretty bad but that comes with the territory. Let’s get to it.
This is the infamous mini movie thing where Sting and Bulldog are playing volleyball with some kids on a beach and Sid is in disguise while a one eyed midget wearing a shark fin blows up their boat. I don’t get it either and I’m glad I don’t.
Bischoff and Missy are the hosts. I don’t ever want to see Bischoff in shorts again.
As Jesse comes to the arena you can see HUNDREDS of seats taped off. I mean maybe out of 40 rows, 9 of them or so have people in them. It’s a good thing the cameras are on that side. That’s just awful.
TV Title: Paul Orndorff vs. Ron Simmons
Suddenly I see why there’s no one here. Simmons is coming off being world champion at this point while Orndorff is still overrated and has no business being here. He would drop the title to Steamboat in about a month. He beat Eric Watts in a tournament to get the belt. Yes, Eric The Talentless got to the finals of the TV Title Tournament. This is back in the day when this was supposed to be the title that the good wrestling happened in.
For some reason, that’s never really the case and especially not here. It’s pure formula stuff as Simmons is still way over and popular but of course they have Orndorff, who wasn’t over at all, dominate most of the match with really bad 80s style offense. They seem to forget that Simmons was world champion a few months ago as it’s not mentioned at all here. Geez what did he do to fall that far down the card that quickly?
Anyway, Simmons makes the required comeback, only to mess up and throw Orndorff over the top rope. And of course, according to the National Wrestling Alliance Code of Ethics, that’s completely unsafe and Simmons is disqualified. Pay no attention to the lack of mats around the ring for months prior to this. It’s perfectly safe to be dropped on your head on the concrete, but since we CARE in the NWA, a simply throw onto mats is illegal. This was just bad.
Rating: D. I really can’t stand Orndorff, at least at this point. He just wasn’t interesting at all and hardly anyone cared. Naturally he was pushed for months on end because of it so there we go. Simmons was more or less done by this point and would head to ECW and then WWF soon.
Tex Slazenger/Shanghai Pierce vs. Marcus Bagwell/2 Cold Scorpio
The heels are more commonly known as the Godwinns. The faces are another young team that wasn’t very good but they were allegedly really good so they got the tag titles at least once. Bagwell was finally shedding the rookie status but he was still just annoying as fuck. Scorpio was a guy that was always good but always jumped around a lot. The Godwinns are just big and annoying as hell.
This is ok stuff but it’s really just a way to put the faces over and get them a win on PPV. There’s almost nothing of note here as this could be on any television show that you cared to name. Just nothing interesting here as it’s standard formula stuff with Bagwell being beaten on until he makes a tag them Scorpio is beaten on before another tag to Bagwell so Scorpio, the illegal man, can hit his top rope stuff for the pin.
Rating: D+. Just boring as hell here with nothing of note going on. This is the biggest problem that most PPVs have: matches that belong on TV being put on PPV where you have to pay for them. I don’t want to pay for bad matches like this one, so why should I have to in order to see the rest of the card?
The Equalizer is here. Good to know.
Steve Regal vs. Eric Watts
Watts is obviously the son of the Vice President of the company and just nowhere near good enough to be here. I mean he’s BAD. Bill had NO issue with putting him in a title match a few weeks prior to this and now making Regal try to carry him to a good match. Scratch that. Make it to a passable match. Regal is great but he’s not that great. Think of any basic move. Watts messes it up here.
The only interesting thing here is that Sir William, Regal’s manager, is Superstar Bill Dundee as a British guy. This is thankfully the shortest match of the night so far as we only have to watch Eric mess things up for about eight minutes. He gets a shot from Sir William and gets rolled up for the pin.
Rating: D. And that’s ALL because of Regal. I can’t explain how bad Watts really was. I watch OVW most weeks and it’s for people that simply aren’t ready for big time stuff yet. A lot of the guys there don’t belong in wrestling but they’re being given a chance to sharpen their skills a bit in front of a small crowd and you see a lot of people that are getting the hang of things.
That’s what Watts needed about two or three years of. He was thrown into the 2nd biggest company in the world and is the third match on a PPV. It’s hard to criticize him as a ton of this and by far the majority should be on Bill’s hands. Eric is clearly trying but he’s just flat out not good enough to do this yet. That’s not his fault entirely but some of it is I guess.
Regal says he wants the TV Title.
Maxx Payne vs. Johnny B. Badd
Payne is that punk rocker character that simply wouldn’t go away. I don’t think many people got it which doesn’t surprise me at all. He hit Badd in the face with the Badd Blaster to set this up. Badd is wearing pink and black feathers with a feather mask. I have to be very careful with my jokes here to avoid one of the bosses infracting me for prejudiced remarks. You know the ones I’m talking about.
He’s wrestling in a pink mask here because of getting hit in the face. This is idiotic. There is just a ridiculous number of empty seats. You would think they would upgrade people or something. Payne’s finisher was an armbar which was just odd as hell. Badd dives over the ropes to take Payne out. Not that we get to see it or anything but we’re told that’s what happens.
Just to show how stupid Watts was, Badd throws Payne back in and goes for a cross body off the top but has to step down a rope to avoid a disqualification. The problem is that Payne is about 6’6 so Jonny can’t get up high enough to do the move right so it’s more or less a shoulder block for the pin. I hate Bill Watts.
Rating: F Who thought that a guy the size of Albert should use an armbar? The top rope thing was just dumb and it was 5 minutes long. This was awful, mainly because of the booking. Seriously, you have a speed guy against a monster and the speed guy can’t use the top rope. Thankfully Watts was gone soon I think. Actually never mind as later on people use top rope moves and they’re fine. Badd is just an idiot and when Maxx Payne is the smart guy in the match, the thing just sucks.
WCW Tag Titles: Hollywood Blondes vs. Paul Roma/Arn Anderson
Oh damn it it’s Paul Roma. This is your really long wrestling match that isn’t as good as it’s made out to be but is still pretty good but needs about 10 minutes cut off to really make it good match of the night. The Blondes, the heels here, stall to start. The Horsemen are of course the over team as they’re in the Deep South. Good night could Roma be more outclassed?
We have perhaps the best wrestler to never win a world title, the best American cruiserweight ever, and the second biggest star of all time. Then we have Paul Roma. There’s something amusing about that. How in the world did he get a spot in the freaking HORSEMEN??? Pillman kisses Austin on the cheek after Roma punches him. That’s just amusing.
Ventura makes a line about Pillman adjusting himself and Tony nearly loses it. After about five minutes we finally get something substantial going. Ventura asks why Anderson has had so many tag partners which is a good question. To be fair though he won titles with just about all of them. It’s freaking weird though seeing Anderson as a face. Roma is sloppy as hell but of course is told that he’s awesome for no apparent reason.
Since he’s great apparently, Roma is in there for about the first ten minutes of the match. Ok make that 8 out of ten but whatever. Thankfully just as I say that Arn comes back in. Pillman does his old standard Blondes thing of just faking a knee injury. It worked every time yet for some reason no one ever got that. It’s like when Bret plays possum.
You don’t think that even though he’s done it a million times he’s not doing it here again? Pillman’s tights are riding up so more or less he’s wearing a half thong. Roma just simply isn’t popular at all and it’s showing badly as the fans are really restless. He can’t even do a dropkick properly. This is pathetic. Anderson gets the tag and the crowd…does nothing at all really.
This is just boring and a great example of a match that needs some time cut off. Either that or a different partner for Anderson so it’s not so freaking boring. Austin finally comes in and then we hit the floor immediately. That was rather pointless. I wonder why Anderson is so freaking tired after not being in that long. My guess would be it’s from carrying Roma. It’s getting better now which is a good sign.
The middle hurt it a lot though. Anderson suplexes Austin over the ropes and Jesse wants a DQ. Roma gets the tag and no one really cares again. This crowd more or less sucks by the way. Roma rolls up Austin but Pillman hits a clothesline to reverse it and Austin hooks the tights for the pin. Tony talking about how stunning that is makes me chuckle.
Rating: C+. The ending was better and the drama was there, but Roma was just annoying as hell. I’ve never heard a deader crowd either. The wrestling was pretty there but not great. This is right in the middle for me, but I could see it going either way for a lot of people.
US Title: Rick Rude vs. Dustin Rhodes
The title is vacant here and it’s a 30 minute iron man match to get a new champion. Rude’s music sounds like a bad Tina Turner impersonator. They had a match in May where there was a double pin so the title was vacated. Yeah WCW/NWA managed to keep the belt vacant 2 months. That’s just brilliant. A minute in and nothing’s happened.
They take the clock off the screen which tells me that they’re messing with it as they’re known to do. Still waiting on something interesting to happen and something tells me I’m waiting in vain. We’re in a chinlock three and a half minutes in. This isn’t making me look forward to what’s coming. Dustin does the Rude hip swivel which is amusing as hell. Ok Dustin needs to stop the pelvic thrusts.
He’s not wearing gold yet so he can’t get away with it yet. This is just boring as hell. What is the damn obsession with freaking rest holds??? Literally, this is the fourth chinlock in less than ten minutes, and we had a bearhug. This is abnormally tall match as Rude is 6’3 and Rhodes is 6’6. We hit ten minutes and all of a sudden Rhodes works on the leg. Rude taps insanely but nothing comes of it as no one knows what that is yet.
We hit chinlock number five. Is this supposed to be entertaining or interesting? If it is then it’s a complete failure. Dustin hits leg lock number three here as Rude puts on chinlock number six at the same time. When you have double rest holds at the same time, you know it’s boring as hell. Rude hits the Rude Awakening out of nowhere and goes up 1-0. No one cares mind you, but he is indeed up 1-0. There’s number 7.
Rhodes hits a tombstone and no one cares at all. We’re 18 minutes in and I am just so painfully bored that it’s pathetic. We have literally had 10 chinlocks in this match. I get that Bill Watts and Dusty were running the show but this is freaking terrible. With four minutes to go Dustin starts coming back. The fans are kind of into it but not really. Dustin literally just falls over the top rope.
Rude isn’t anywhere near him but he falls out. Are you kidding me? It’s a bad sign when one of the wrestlers falls out on his own. In a spot that’s either great or dumb as hell, Rude keeps ducking Rhodes’ punches so Dustin finally wises up and hits the ropes for the bulldog as Rude ducks. Rude just stands there as he knows Rhodes isn’t in front of him.
He doesn’t move or duck or anything and just takes the move. Yeah that was dumb as hell and we’re tied with three minutes to go. Rhodes just goes apeshit and hits Rude with everything including chinlock number 11, called a sleeper here. Wait, top rope moves are allowed now? Then Badd was just a freaking idiot earlier! And the time limit is up and we end up with a tie.
The belt stayed vacant another month until they just gave it to Rhodes at another fucking house show. The fans are fucking PISSED OFF at this and I can’t blame them. We wait two months for the title to change and then it changes at a house show that no one can even freaking see. This was idiotic.
Rating: D. I hated this. Last year’s match was AWESOME. This was just boring as hell. I guess I get why they changed it though: last year they went all fast paced and worked their asses off. We can’t have that happen again because that was, you know, good, and that can’t happen so there we are. This was freaking stupid as all hell and the ending was just complete and utter crap.
We recap Flair vs. Windham and no one cares. The ending was already known as Flair had been taped for like three months worth of videos with the belt at Disney, which was the last straw for the NWA and they “threw WCW out”. Basically WCW got freaking pissed off at the NWA for never shutting their damn mouths and just gave up on them. Yeah because it’s so dramatic to see Windham vs. Flair. Everyone thinks Windham has a chance here. That’s just funny as hell.
NWA Title: Ric Flair vs. Barry Windham
This is the NWA’s dream: two old guys past their primes from the south fighting for the title in what’s going to be boring as hell. I think I could feel the NWA collectively cum at the thought of that. Flair still had the big blonde hair at this point and looked like he was trying so hard to hold onto the 80s. I freaking hate this show by the way. It’s just so slow paced and no one cares at all.
It’s freaking boring as hell and this match sums it up completely: who in the holy mother of fuck wants to see this other than the NWA? Flair winning is a given, but seriously, Barry Windham is world champion here. Give me a damn break. The match is sucking too. The fans are dead as hell, only popping a bit for Flair. Flair actually gets the move off the top to work here. WILL YOU PLEASE JUST END THIS ALREADY?
They’re both down AGAIN. Wait, what just happened? Flair puts the figure four on and Windham reaches for the ropes. He stretches out as far as he can and then grabs his head in pain. One, two, three, and Flair is champion. Yeah, after maybe 15 seconds in the figure four, Windham got pinned with it. I’m dead serious, that’s how it ended. Did Windham actually just manage to avoid tapping out? Just end the show now, I beg of you.
Rating: D. Seriously, what was the point of this? Oh yeah: the NWA had to be a big point in the show again. This was the last PPV for them and of course they put the belt on Flair because that’s all they knew how to do. Flair of course talks because apparently someone thought it was a good idea.
No buildup for the main event or anything.
British Bulldog/Sting vs. Vader/Sid Vicious
All four guys are popular here for no apparent reason. Sid gets a great chokeslam on Sting early on. The faces come off the top with matching clotheslines. Tony is right: it is deafening in here. It’s so loud that I can’t even hear the crowd yelling. They must be really good at it too as they don’t even look like they’re moving. Bulldog comes in and gets beaten on for awhile until he gets the delayed vertical on Vader, making him completely awesome as hell.
For about 5 minutes it’s just Bulldog getting beaten on. Sting finally comes in to clean house which I thought before Tony said it so I’m not plagiarizing. Sting does exactly the same thing that Smith did as he gets way ahead and then messes up and gets beaten on for a good while.
The Vader Bomb connects on Smith after he gets tagged in and beats up the heels for a bit. Sid and Sting are on the ramp as Vader busts out the first ever moonsault from him. Sting dives over the top rope to make the save which is cool looking. And Smith is up 10 seconds later to hit a crucifix for the pin to end the show.
Rating: C. It’s exactly what you would expect from a main event tag match. Nothing of note happens, but the moonsault was awesome as all hell as he more or less hit it too. That’s a rarity for Vader so nice one there. Other than that this was just completely not interesting. Sid and Vader were supposed to main event Starrcade but due to a slight case of attempted murder by Sid, he was thrown out and Flair came in and got the win instead.
Overall Rating: F+. I’m sorry but this show sucked on so many levels. The main event was just ok, the tag title match was WAY too long, no one cared about Flair and the stupid as hell ending, and the US Title match was a joke. Other than that the whole thing just wasn’t interesting at all. I haven’t been wanting to get to the end of a show this badly since Heroes of Wrestling, and that’s saying a lot. Avoid this like the damn plague.
Date: July 18, 1993
Location: Mississippi Coast Coliseum, Biloxi, Mississippi
Attendance: 8,600
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Jesse Ventura
This is still in the lost years for WCW, as they just had no idea what they were doing. British Bulldog is here now to be the number two face in the company after Sting. The main event tonight is Sting and Bulldog vs. Sid and Vader. The real main event though is Flair trying to win the NWA World Title. WCW would leave the NWA on September 1 thank goodness to end this annoying stuff they kept doing. The card looks pretty bad but that comes with the territory. Let’s get to it.
This is the infamous mini movie thing where Sting and Bulldog are playing volleyball with some kids on a beach and Sid is in disguise while a one eyed midget wearing a shark fin blows up their boat. I don’t get it either and I’m glad I don’t.
Bischoff and Missy are the hosts. I don’t ever want to see Bischoff in shorts again.
As Jesse comes to the arena you can see HUNDREDS of seats taped off. I mean maybe out of 40 rows, 9 of them or so have people in them. It’s a good thing the cameras are on that side. That’s just awful.
TV Title: Paul Orndorff vs. Ron Simmons
Suddenly I see why there’s no one here. Simmons is coming off being world champion at this point while Orndorff is still overrated and has no business being here. He would drop the title to Steamboat in about a month. He beat Eric Watts in a tournament to get the belt. Yes, Eric The Talentless got to the finals of the TV Title Tournament. This is back in the day when this was supposed to be the title that the good wrestling happened in.
For some reason, that’s never really the case and especially not here. It’s pure formula stuff as Simmons is still way over and popular but of course they have Orndorff, who wasn’t over at all, dominate most of the match with really bad 80s style offense. They seem to forget that Simmons was world champion a few months ago as it’s not mentioned at all here. Geez what did he do to fall that far down the card that quickly?
Anyway, Simmons makes the required comeback, only to mess up and throw Orndorff over the top rope. And of course, according to the National Wrestling Alliance Code of Ethics, that’s completely unsafe and Simmons is disqualified. Pay no attention to the lack of mats around the ring for months prior to this. It’s perfectly safe to be dropped on your head on the concrete, but since we CARE in the NWA, a simply throw onto mats is illegal. This was just bad.
Rating: D. I really can’t stand Orndorff, at least at this point. He just wasn’t interesting at all and hardly anyone cared. Naturally he was pushed for months on end because of it so there we go. Simmons was more or less done by this point and would head to ECW and then WWF soon.
Tex Slazenger/Shanghai Pierce vs. Marcus Bagwell/2 Cold Scorpio
The heels are more commonly known as the Godwinns. The faces are another young team that wasn’t very good but they were allegedly really good so they got the tag titles at least once. Bagwell was finally shedding the rookie status but he was still just annoying as fuck. Scorpio was a guy that was always good but always jumped around a lot. The Godwinns are just big and annoying as hell.
This is ok stuff but it’s really just a way to put the faces over and get them a win on PPV. There’s almost nothing of note here as this could be on any television show that you cared to name. Just nothing interesting here as it’s standard formula stuff with Bagwell being beaten on until he makes a tag them Scorpio is beaten on before another tag to Bagwell so Scorpio, the illegal man, can hit his top rope stuff for the pin.
Rating: D+. Just boring as hell here with nothing of note going on. This is the biggest problem that most PPVs have: matches that belong on TV being put on PPV where you have to pay for them. I don’t want to pay for bad matches like this one, so why should I have to in order to see the rest of the card?
The Equalizer is here. Good to know.
Steve Regal vs. Eric Watts
Watts is obviously the son of the Vice President of the company and just nowhere near good enough to be here. I mean he’s BAD. Bill had NO issue with putting him in a title match a few weeks prior to this and now making Regal try to carry him to a good match. Scratch that. Make it to a passable match. Regal is great but he’s not that great. Think of any basic move. Watts messes it up here.
The only interesting thing here is that Sir William, Regal’s manager, is Superstar Bill Dundee as a British guy. This is thankfully the shortest match of the night so far as we only have to watch Eric mess things up for about eight minutes. He gets a shot from Sir William and gets rolled up for the pin.
Rating: D. And that’s ALL because of Regal. I can’t explain how bad Watts really was. I watch OVW most weeks and it’s for people that simply aren’t ready for big time stuff yet. A lot of the guys there don’t belong in wrestling but they’re being given a chance to sharpen their skills a bit in front of a small crowd and you see a lot of people that are getting the hang of things.
That’s what Watts needed about two or three years of. He was thrown into the 2nd biggest company in the world and is the third match on a PPV. It’s hard to criticize him as a ton of this and by far the majority should be on Bill’s hands. Eric is clearly trying but he’s just flat out not good enough to do this yet. That’s not his fault entirely but some of it is I guess.
Regal says he wants the TV Title.
Maxx Payne vs. Johnny B. Badd
Payne is that punk rocker character that simply wouldn’t go away. I don’t think many people got it which doesn’t surprise me at all. He hit Badd in the face with the Badd Blaster to set this up. Badd is wearing pink and black feathers with a feather mask. I have to be very careful with my jokes here to avoid one of the bosses infracting me for prejudiced remarks. You know the ones I’m talking about.
He’s wrestling in a pink mask here because of getting hit in the face. This is idiotic. There is just a ridiculous number of empty seats. You would think they would upgrade people or something. Payne’s finisher was an armbar which was just odd as hell. Badd dives over the ropes to take Payne out. Not that we get to see it or anything but we’re told that’s what happens.
Just to show how stupid Watts was, Badd throws Payne back in and goes for a cross body off the top but has to step down a rope to avoid a disqualification. The problem is that Payne is about 6’6 so Jonny can’t get up high enough to do the move right so it’s more or less a shoulder block for the pin. I hate Bill Watts.
Rating: F Who thought that a guy the size of Albert should use an armbar? The top rope thing was just dumb and it was 5 minutes long. This was awful, mainly because of the booking. Seriously, you have a speed guy against a monster and the speed guy can’t use the top rope. Thankfully Watts was gone soon I think. Actually never mind as later on people use top rope moves and they’re fine. Badd is just an idiot and when Maxx Payne is the smart guy in the match, the thing just sucks.
WCW Tag Titles: Hollywood Blondes vs. Paul Roma/Arn Anderson
Oh damn it it’s Paul Roma. This is your really long wrestling match that isn’t as good as it’s made out to be but is still pretty good but needs about 10 minutes cut off to really make it good match of the night. The Blondes, the heels here, stall to start. The Horsemen are of course the over team as they’re in the Deep South. Good night could Roma be more outclassed?
We have perhaps the best wrestler to never win a world title, the best American cruiserweight ever, and the second biggest star of all time. Then we have Paul Roma. There’s something amusing about that. How in the world did he get a spot in the freaking HORSEMEN??? Pillman kisses Austin on the cheek after Roma punches him. That’s just amusing.
Ventura makes a line about Pillman adjusting himself and Tony nearly loses it. After about five minutes we finally get something substantial going. Ventura asks why Anderson has had so many tag partners which is a good question. To be fair though he won titles with just about all of them. It’s freaking weird though seeing Anderson as a face. Roma is sloppy as hell but of course is told that he’s awesome for no apparent reason.
Since he’s great apparently, Roma is in there for about the first ten minutes of the match. Ok make that 8 out of ten but whatever. Thankfully just as I say that Arn comes back in. Pillman does his old standard Blondes thing of just faking a knee injury. It worked every time yet for some reason no one ever got that. It’s like when Bret plays possum.
You don’t think that even though he’s done it a million times he’s not doing it here again? Pillman’s tights are riding up so more or less he’s wearing a half thong. Roma just simply isn’t popular at all and it’s showing badly as the fans are really restless. He can’t even do a dropkick properly. This is pathetic. Anderson gets the tag and the crowd…does nothing at all really.
This is just boring and a great example of a match that needs some time cut off. Either that or a different partner for Anderson so it’s not so freaking boring. Austin finally comes in and then we hit the floor immediately. That was rather pointless. I wonder why Anderson is so freaking tired after not being in that long. My guess would be it’s from carrying Roma. It’s getting better now which is a good sign.
The middle hurt it a lot though. Anderson suplexes Austin over the ropes and Jesse wants a DQ. Roma gets the tag and no one really cares again. This crowd more or less sucks by the way. Roma rolls up Austin but Pillman hits a clothesline to reverse it and Austin hooks the tights for the pin. Tony talking about how stunning that is makes me chuckle.
Rating: C+. The ending was better and the drama was there, but Roma was just annoying as hell. I’ve never heard a deader crowd either. The wrestling was pretty there but not great. This is right in the middle for me, but I could see it going either way for a lot of people.
US Title: Rick Rude vs. Dustin Rhodes
The title is vacant here and it’s a 30 minute iron man match to get a new champion. Rude’s music sounds like a bad Tina Turner impersonator. They had a match in May where there was a double pin so the title was vacated. Yeah WCW/NWA managed to keep the belt vacant 2 months. That’s just brilliant. A minute in and nothing’s happened.
They take the clock off the screen which tells me that they’re messing with it as they’re known to do. Still waiting on something interesting to happen and something tells me I’m waiting in vain. We’re in a chinlock three and a half minutes in. This isn’t making me look forward to what’s coming. Dustin does the Rude hip swivel which is amusing as hell. Ok Dustin needs to stop the pelvic thrusts.
He’s not wearing gold yet so he can’t get away with it yet. This is just boring as hell. What is the damn obsession with freaking rest holds??? Literally, this is the fourth chinlock in less than ten minutes, and we had a bearhug. This is abnormally tall match as Rude is 6’3 and Rhodes is 6’6. We hit ten minutes and all of a sudden Rhodes works on the leg. Rude taps insanely but nothing comes of it as no one knows what that is yet.
We hit chinlock number five. Is this supposed to be entertaining or interesting? If it is then it’s a complete failure. Dustin hits leg lock number three here as Rude puts on chinlock number six at the same time. When you have double rest holds at the same time, you know it’s boring as hell. Rude hits the Rude Awakening out of nowhere and goes up 1-0. No one cares mind you, but he is indeed up 1-0. There’s number 7.
Rhodes hits a tombstone and no one cares at all. We’re 18 minutes in and I am just so painfully bored that it’s pathetic. We have literally had 10 chinlocks in this match. I get that Bill Watts and Dusty were running the show but this is freaking terrible. With four minutes to go Dustin starts coming back. The fans are kind of into it but not really. Dustin literally just falls over the top rope.
Rude isn’t anywhere near him but he falls out. Are you kidding me? It’s a bad sign when one of the wrestlers falls out on his own. In a spot that’s either great or dumb as hell, Rude keeps ducking Rhodes’ punches so Dustin finally wises up and hits the ropes for the bulldog as Rude ducks. Rude just stands there as he knows Rhodes isn’t in front of him.
He doesn’t move or duck or anything and just takes the move. Yeah that was dumb as hell and we’re tied with three minutes to go. Rhodes just goes apeshit and hits Rude with everything including chinlock number 11, called a sleeper here. Wait, top rope moves are allowed now? Then Badd was just a freaking idiot earlier! And the time limit is up and we end up with a tie.
The belt stayed vacant another month until they just gave it to Rhodes at another fucking house show. The fans are fucking PISSED OFF at this and I can’t blame them. We wait two months for the title to change and then it changes at a house show that no one can even freaking see. This was idiotic.
Rating: D. I hated this. Last year’s match was AWESOME. This was just boring as hell. I guess I get why they changed it though: last year they went all fast paced and worked their asses off. We can’t have that happen again because that was, you know, good, and that can’t happen so there we are. This was freaking stupid as all hell and the ending was just complete and utter crap.
We recap Flair vs. Windham and no one cares. The ending was already known as Flair had been taped for like three months worth of videos with the belt at Disney, which was the last straw for the NWA and they “threw WCW out”. Basically WCW got freaking pissed off at the NWA for never shutting their damn mouths and just gave up on them. Yeah because it’s so dramatic to see Windham vs. Flair. Everyone thinks Windham has a chance here. That’s just funny as hell.
NWA Title: Ric Flair vs. Barry Windham
This is the NWA’s dream: two old guys past their primes from the south fighting for the title in what’s going to be boring as hell. I think I could feel the NWA collectively cum at the thought of that. Flair still had the big blonde hair at this point and looked like he was trying so hard to hold onto the 80s. I freaking hate this show by the way. It’s just so slow paced and no one cares at all.
It’s freaking boring as hell and this match sums it up completely: who in the holy mother of fuck wants to see this other than the NWA? Flair winning is a given, but seriously, Barry Windham is world champion here. Give me a damn break. The match is sucking too. The fans are dead as hell, only popping a bit for Flair. Flair actually gets the move off the top to work here. WILL YOU PLEASE JUST END THIS ALREADY?
They’re both down AGAIN. Wait, what just happened? Flair puts the figure four on and Windham reaches for the ropes. He stretches out as far as he can and then grabs his head in pain. One, two, three, and Flair is champion. Yeah, after maybe 15 seconds in the figure four, Windham got pinned with it. I’m dead serious, that’s how it ended. Did Windham actually just manage to avoid tapping out? Just end the show now, I beg of you.
Rating: D. Seriously, what was the point of this? Oh yeah: the NWA had to be a big point in the show again. This was the last PPV for them and of course they put the belt on Flair because that’s all they knew how to do. Flair of course talks because apparently someone thought it was a good idea.
No buildup for the main event or anything.
British Bulldog/Sting vs. Vader/Sid Vicious
All four guys are popular here for no apparent reason. Sid gets a great chokeslam on Sting early on. The faces come off the top with matching clotheslines. Tony is right: it is deafening in here. It’s so loud that I can’t even hear the crowd yelling. They must be really good at it too as they don’t even look like they’re moving. Bulldog comes in and gets beaten on for awhile until he gets the delayed vertical on Vader, making him completely awesome as hell.
For about 5 minutes it’s just Bulldog getting beaten on. Sting finally comes in to clean house which I thought before Tony said it so I’m not plagiarizing. Sting does exactly the same thing that Smith did as he gets way ahead and then messes up and gets beaten on for a good while.
The Vader Bomb connects on Smith after he gets tagged in and beats up the heels for a bit. Sid and Sting are on the ramp as Vader busts out the first ever moonsault from him. Sting dives over the top rope to make the save which is cool looking. And Smith is up 10 seconds later to hit a crucifix for the pin to end the show.
Rating: C. It’s exactly what you would expect from a main event tag match. Nothing of note happens, but the moonsault was awesome as all hell as he more or less hit it too. That’s a rarity for Vader so nice one there. Other than that this was just completely not interesting. Sid and Vader were supposed to main event Starrcade but due to a slight case of attempted murder by Sid, he was thrown out and Flair came in and got the win instead.
Overall Rating: F+. I’m sorry but this show sucked on so many levels. The main event was just ok, the tag title match was WAY too long, no one cared about Flair and the stupid as hell ending, and the US Title match was a joke. Other than that the whole thing just wasn’t interesting at all. I haven’t been wanting to get to the end of a show this badly since Heroes of Wrestling, and that’s saying a lot. Avoid this like the damn plague.
