Hyorinmaru
Sit Upon The Frozen Heavens
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Ascension 130: Mikey Stormrage Vs Titus Avison Vs Callie Clark (non title)
- Thread starter Hyorinmaru
- Start date
- Status
Richard Blonoff
Make America Rassle Again
I felt like I had been sitting in the waiting room at Grace Hospital in Cleveland for hours, when the doctor finally came to give me the news.
"Well the good news, there is no permanent damage...."
That news alone was a major weight off. Knowing Matt wouldn't have to go through what I had just a few months ago, it made me feel better about the future.
"......that said, his next few weeks aren't going to feel too good. He has multiple bruises along the vertebrae and coccyx. He will need to be out of the ring for a few weeks, but light exercise will help the healing process."
I stood and shook hands with the doctor and thanked him before I went in to visit Matt.
I walked inside and pulled a chair over to the bed next to Matt.
"Doc said you bruised your cock. He said a normal man would be laid up for weeks but since your's is so small, you are good to go."
Matt flipped me off and rolled over. I sat in the chair and propped my feet on a nearby table to catch some z's. Matt would still here for another day and I knew I would have to lug him around until we got back home.
A FEW DAYS LATER
I walked into Kick Ass Academia and walked over to where Matt was clearing a space on the wall.
"You gonna put that X-Ray of your ass up here? You know the one, where you have all that poop inside you?"
"Well this was going to be a surprise for when you win that Elite Openweight Championship. Now I think I will post up those dick pics you accidentally text me last week."
Yeah.....totally an accident. I mean, why would I send Matt Tastic, the man I had spent the better part of the last three years with on the road, pictures of my penis?
I just shrugged at him, before walking to the far end of the room.
"I mean if you wanna scare all the recruits out of here knowing they gotta step into the ring with an actual anaconda, then go ahead."
Matt shook his head before he used his cane to point where he wanted the posters he removed to go.
I had been low key wishing that he would take his cane and fight his grandpa with it. I was tired of them smacking me around with the damn things. It almost made me wish when I was rehabbing from my own back injury that I was down here so we could make it a menage a trois sword fight.
I called the students over to the media room where I had a presentation set up. I gave them a couple of minutes to file in and take a seat before I started the lecture.
"Okay class, today we are going to be reviewing some film from the last Meltdown before we get to the topic of the lecture."
I hit play on the video queued up on the laptop.
The students all had somber looks on their faces.
"Don't worry, his cock broke his fall."
The next scene began to play, but it was set to that Sarah McLachlan song they play in all those abused animal commercials.
"As you can see, Matt and I both went for a high risk move. Both of us are here today, with nothing to show for it. So that brings me to the topic of today's lecture."
I brought the lights up and tapped on the blackboard behind me.
"NO!"
"FLIPPY!"
"SHIT!"
The students, many of whom were much smaller than me and relied on high risk maneuvers, looked at me with quizzical looks. A hand quickly shot up. It was Pablo Ayala, one of our star pupils.
"But Mikey, does this apply to everyone? I mean, no disrespect, but some of us really rely on those to aerial moves."
Before I could speak, a voice from the back spoke up. I could tell from the condescending tone it was Ozzie, our resident dick hole student.
"Well maybe if you can't wrestle without them, you should quit."
Fuck I hated his voice.
"Look, obviously this doesn't apply to everyone, but my point is.....well actually I forget what my point was. Since I called you all in here, I guess I will go ahead and announce that we are currently trying to bring a WZCW Hall of Famer in here in a few days to give a guest lecture on the art of the promo."
"Is it Austin Reynolds? He used to have his own talk show."
"Yes he did, but it did not spike ratings like he claimed. Mr Excitement my ass. More like Mr. Drying Paint. Besides, I said Hall of Famer. And before you ask, no it isn't Showtime. Last I heard he was running some radical right wing podcast in Canada."
The students all looked confused.
"I'm actually talking about Titus. I left a message with his agent yesterday and I'm hoping to hear from him today. Before you all head to your individual workouts, does anyone have any questions?"
A few hands went up. I pointed to the first one.
"Why are you bringing in Titus when he is your opponent? Does that seem smart?"
"I've been asking him that since his first date with Eve Taylor!"
Matt's voice came shouting from outside the room.
"Or, is it the smartest thing possible? By bringing Titus here, he will be distracted and I can learn all his secrets. That is why I'm teaching you all. I'm over here playing four d chess. Next question."
Most of the hands went down, but one in particular stayed up. It was the tattooed arm of Katherine King, our lone full time female student and someone who I seemed to lose my nerve around. It was weird, it wasn't uncommon for me to fall after a date or two, provided I actually got that far. With Katherine it was a first sight type deal. The type of shit you only see in bad movies or poorly written romance models that also serve as *********ion material for middle aged housewives and lonely teenage girls. I tried to speak, but I could only point to her.
"Mikey, you have a unique history of getting into the mind of your opponent. Callie surely won't play her entire hand on Ascension, so how do you plan on prepping for her at the pay per view? Are you going to try to get a date with her like all your other female opponents?"
Damn, that was a good idea, but she was right. Anytime a female opponent came up, I either tried to fuck them or would just sit around jerking it to her pictures all day. I just sort of stumbled over my words as I tried to think of a legitimate strategy, one that didn't just involve treating female opponents as sex objects.
I tried to gesture with my hands a bit, but no words came out. I took my phone from my pocket and decided to "take" a phone call from Titus.
I went out to my car and called the number of Titus' agent, James Montana. I spent the better part of an hour on hold before I decided to go back inside. Matt was sitting, eating some lunch, so I pulled up a seat next to him.
"You still trying to get Titus down here?"
"Yeah, I really think he could teach us all a lot."
"He kicked me in the dick."
"I mean yeah, but I jumped off a ladder onto you at Kingdom Come."
"But you never kicked my dick."
"Just get over it. Titus can be a great teacher. I mean, he has probably played a teacher on the big screen, and that's as real as it gets."
"Just don't try to have sex with Titus like every other opponent you invite out the week of your match."
"Are you implying that Titus is a homosexual? I take offense to that man dude. Titus probably has to beat chicks off with a stick."
"I'll beat you off....."
"Hello?"
Montana's voice came over my phone.
"Oh, hello Mr. Montana. This is Mikey Stormrage. I've been trying to get in touch with Titus since yesterday. I was wondering if he would be available to come to our school to teach the students a few pointers on promos and getting into the head of opponents?"
I could hear laughter.
"You want my client to do what?"
"I want Titus to fly to Puerto Rico and give a guest lecture at Kick Ass Academia."
I could hear more laughter, this time coming from multiple people.
"I'm sorry, but Titus is booked full for the next week. Maybe next time."
With that, James Montana hung up. I slipped my phone back into my pocket and let out a very audible sigh.
"So now what are you gonna do?"
"Get drunk and pleasure myself to pictures of Callie Clark. How the hell else am I supposed to prep for this match? Get high while cosplaying and pretend the cosplay world is real? Have a disco dance party? Grow up Matthew!"
"Well the good news, there is no permanent damage...."
That news alone was a major weight off. Knowing Matt wouldn't have to go through what I had just a few months ago, it made me feel better about the future.
"......that said, his next few weeks aren't going to feel too good. He has multiple bruises along the vertebrae and coccyx. He will need to be out of the ring for a few weeks, but light exercise will help the healing process."
I stood and shook hands with the doctor and thanked him before I went in to visit Matt.
I walked inside and pulled a chair over to the bed next to Matt.
"Doc said you bruised your cock. He said a normal man would be laid up for weeks but since your's is so small, you are good to go."
Matt flipped me off and rolled over. I sat in the chair and propped my feet on a nearby table to catch some z's. Matt would still here for another day and I knew I would have to lug him around until we got back home.
A FEW DAYS LATER
I walked into Kick Ass Academia and walked over to where Matt was clearing a space on the wall.
"You gonna put that X-Ray of your ass up here? You know the one, where you have all that poop inside you?"
"Well this was going to be a surprise for when you win that Elite Openweight Championship. Now I think I will post up those dick pics you accidentally text me last week."
Yeah.....totally an accident. I mean, why would I send Matt Tastic, the man I had spent the better part of the last three years with on the road, pictures of my penis?
I just shrugged at him, before walking to the far end of the room.
"I mean if you wanna scare all the recruits out of here knowing they gotta step into the ring with an actual anaconda, then go ahead."
Matt shook his head before he used his cane to point where he wanted the posters he removed to go.
I had been low key wishing that he would take his cane and fight his grandpa with it. I was tired of them smacking me around with the damn things. It almost made me wish when I was rehabbing from my own back injury that I was down here so we could make it a menage a trois sword fight.
I called the students over to the media room where I had a presentation set up. I gave them a couple of minutes to file in and take a seat before I started the lecture.
"Okay class, today we are going to be reviewing some film from the last Meltdown before we get to the topic of the lecture."
I hit play on the video queued up on the laptop.
The students all had somber looks on their faces.
"Don't worry, his cock broke his fall."
The next scene began to play, but it was set to that Sarah McLachlan song they play in all those abused animal commercials.
"As you can see, Matt and I both went for a high risk move. Both of us are here today, with nothing to show for it. So that brings me to the topic of today's lecture."
I brought the lights up and tapped on the blackboard behind me.
"NO!"
"FLIPPY!"
"SHIT!"
The students, many of whom were much smaller than me and relied on high risk maneuvers, looked at me with quizzical looks. A hand quickly shot up. It was Pablo Ayala, one of our star pupils.
"But Mikey, does this apply to everyone? I mean, no disrespect, but some of us really rely on those to aerial moves."
Before I could speak, a voice from the back spoke up. I could tell from the condescending tone it was Ozzie, our resident dick hole student.
"Well maybe if you can't wrestle without them, you should quit."
Fuck I hated his voice.
"Look, obviously this doesn't apply to everyone, but my point is.....well actually I forget what my point was. Since I called you all in here, I guess I will go ahead and announce that we are currently trying to bring a WZCW Hall of Famer in here in a few days to give a guest lecture on the art of the promo."
"Is it Austin Reynolds? He used to have his own talk show."
"Yes he did, but it did not spike ratings like he claimed. Mr Excitement my ass. More like Mr. Drying Paint. Besides, I said Hall of Famer. And before you ask, no it isn't Showtime. Last I heard he was running some radical right wing podcast in Canada."
The students all looked confused.
"I'm actually talking about Titus. I left a message with his agent yesterday and I'm hoping to hear from him today. Before you all head to your individual workouts, does anyone have any questions?"
A few hands went up. I pointed to the first one.
"Why are you bringing in Titus when he is your opponent? Does that seem smart?"
"I've been asking him that since his first date with Eve Taylor!"
Matt's voice came shouting from outside the room.
"Or, is it the smartest thing possible? By bringing Titus here, he will be distracted and I can learn all his secrets. That is why I'm teaching you all. I'm over here playing four d chess. Next question."
Most of the hands went down, but one in particular stayed up. It was the tattooed arm of Katherine King, our lone full time female student and someone who I seemed to lose my nerve around. It was weird, it wasn't uncommon for me to fall after a date or two, provided I actually got that far. With Katherine it was a first sight type deal. The type of shit you only see in bad movies or poorly written romance models that also serve as *********ion material for middle aged housewives and lonely teenage girls. I tried to speak, but I could only point to her.
"Mikey, you have a unique history of getting into the mind of your opponent. Callie surely won't play her entire hand on Ascension, so how do you plan on prepping for her at the pay per view? Are you going to try to get a date with her like all your other female opponents?"
Damn, that was a good idea, but she was right. Anytime a female opponent came up, I either tried to fuck them or would just sit around jerking it to her pictures all day. I just sort of stumbled over my words as I tried to think of a legitimate strategy, one that didn't just involve treating female opponents as sex objects.
I tried to gesture with my hands a bit, but no words came out. I took my phone from my pocket and decided to "take" a phone call from Titus.
I went out to my car and called the number of Titus' agent, James Montana. I spent the better part of an hour on hold before I decided to go back inside. Matt was sitting, eating some lunch, so I pulled up a seat next to him.
"You still trying to get Titus down here?"
"Yeah, I really think he could teach us all a lot."
"He kicked me in the dick."
"I mean yeah, but I jumped off a ladder onto you at Kingdom Come."
"But you never kicked my dick."
"Just get over it. Titus can be a great teacher. I mean, he has probably played a teacher on the big screen, and that's as real as it gets."
"Just don't try to have sex with Titus like every other opponent you invite out the week of your match."
"Are you implying that Titus is a homosexual? I take offense to that man dude. Titus probably has to beat chicks off with a stick."
"I'll beat you off....."
"Hello?"
Montana's voice came over my phone.
"Oh, hello Mr. Montana. This is Mikey Stormrage. I've been trying to get in touch with Titus since yesterday. I was wondering if he would be available to come to our school to teach the students a few pointers on promos and getting into the head of opponents?"
I could hear laughter.
"You want my client to do what?"
"I want Titus to fly to Puerto Rico and give a guest lecture at Kick Ass Academia."
I could hear more laughter, this time coming from multiple people.
"I'm sorry, but Titus is booked full for the next week. Maybe next time."
With that, James Montana hung up. I slipped my phone back into my pocket and let out a very audible sigh.
"So now what are you gonna do?"
"Get drunk and pleasure myself to pictures of Callie Clark. How the hell else am I supposed to prep for this match? Get high while cosplaying and pretend the cosplay world is real? Have a disco dance party? Grow up Matthew!"
Last edited:
Lee
Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No it's Supermod!
Hollywood, California. The setting is the office of James Montana, agent to the stars. His biggest client is of course Five time Oscar winner Titus Avison. As annoying as it is we catch him mid conversation on the phone.
Montana: I don't care which role you pick him for, just put him in a DC Movie. What do you mean they're all cast? You were able to give Tyrone Blades the role of Aquaman. No way that's not him. Jason who? Yeah right. Look I'll need to call you back I've got another call to take.
Just as the phone line switches over, Rosie steps in the office and Montana beckons her forth.
Montana: You want my client to do what? I'm sorry, but Titus is booked full for the next week. Maybe next time.
The phone cuts off and Montana looks at Rosie with annoyance.
Montana: What the actual hell is going on?
Rosie: Who was that?
Montana: Some guy from WZCW, it doesn't matter. Answer my question. What the actual hell is going on?
Rosie is taken aback by the aggression in Montana's voice.
Rosie: With what? I'm not too sure what you're talking about Mr. Montana.
She stumbles through her words.
Montana: Avison. Titus. The FORMER EurAsian champion. Do you realise how much money I've lost since then? I've been pimping him out all over Hollywood but no one wants him for some reason.
Rosie: I think he wants to stay in wrestling.
Montana: You think? You're his assistant, you're supposed to know.
Rosie: Well then yeah.
Montana: Whys he not taking my calls? Why on earth did he cancel his appearance at Colorado Comic Con?
Rosie: He did? Balls.
Montana: Why are you still here? Go sort it.
Rosie leaves the office in a hurry. She closes the door and catches the receptionist.
Rosie: Who was...
Receptionist: Mikey Stormrage. He wants Titus to do a promo class at his school.
Rosie mouths thanks. As she heads outside Stacey Madison is waiting.
Rosie: Stacey, how can I help?
Stacey: Where is he? I've been sent by Becky as he no showed an interview with Leon and even one with Johnny.
Rosie: He's taking a media break.
Stacey: He's contractually obliged to conduct WZCW interviews as and when we request them.
Rosie: He's contractually obliged to have anyone conduct an interview on his behalf. I'll do it.
Stacey: You?
Stacey scoffs at the thought.
Stacey: Well what are his plans since losing the EurAsian championship? I read on TMZ earlier that he may be returning to acting.
Rosie: Titus Avison is committed to WZCW. The legend of the EurAvison era will live forever, just like the legends written before that were. Just like the ones after that will be. You saw last week how he decimated 456 people in the ring in one match. He didn't even break a sweat.
Stacey: He has a bigger matchup this week though, someone who is a champion. And a brand new hall of famer. Thoughts on that?
Rosie: I don't think Titus is over that time that Mikey Stormrage got a cereal named after him. Yet with this match it's a new day and he'll come at it like he does with all his matches. Resilience, skill and sheer fortitude.
Stacey: You neglected to mention Callie Clark.
Rosie: Can you remember the last time a champion was the underdog in a match? I can't. Yet here she is, yes she's beaten Lynx more times than Chris Brown beats those tunes. Yet really, if a time traveller can't work out how to win he's hardly any good. So this is a huge step up for Callie. She wants to play with the big boys, she has to beat the big boys. She wants to dodge these guys? If she's ready she want have to.
Stacey: Did you just quote the Matrix?
Rosie: Not exactly.
Stacey: Did you know that Chuck Myles has also confirmed a match for R-Awakening? Titus Avison will face Garth Black.
Rosie: He did? Balls.
The scene cuts to Keystone City, Kansas. It's clearly a few days later but at least Rosie's picking up her frequent flier miles. All the way to Hollywood for a 2 minute conversation she could have had on the phone?
In the home of Titus Avison Rosie stands in the trophy room. The belts and Oscars of yonder days are adorned. Pictures from movies and matches fill a great nostalgia. Titus is nowhere to be seen. She has with her a big bag.
Rosie: Look I get it.
Her voice echoes around the mansion, no matter what room he's in he'll hear it.
Rosie: People are concerned about you. You've got a bag of mail which was sent to the arena last week. Not even Santa Claus gets that. Before you say anything it's not from the TMZ either. It's from wrestling fans.
She rifles through the bag.
Rosie: Kids saying they never understood why their Dads always sang your praises until they saw your EurAsian reign. There are people who said they came back from wrestling after years. Other said they wanted to hate your guts because you kicked people in the dick but they just couldn't.
A voice in the distance can be heard.
Titus: John punched me in the dick. It hurt!
Rosie: Yeah well it's a shame it ended that way.
Titus appears, he's in lounge wear and doesn't look the best. The conversation takes a rather subdued tone. Both sides not showing much emotion, just almost at the brink of giving up.
Titus: It was always going to end that way. I would have done the same.
Rosie: Mr. Avison I
Titus: You can call me Titus if you want.
Rosie: Titus you need some focus in your life. There's no EurAsian match at R-Awakening. You're cancelling media interviews. Heck Montana can't even get you an acting gig.
Titus: He forgets I have more clout in Hollywood than he does. I've been contacting people to say no. Lets get me an opponent for R-Awakening and let's get focused then.
Rosie: Garth Black.
Titus: Oh come on. I thought it would be Mikey Stormrage, he's been ringing me non stop.
Rosie: He wants you to teach a lesson on how to speak promos at his wrestling school.
Titus: Why didn't he just ring you?
Rosie: He called Montana. Montana said no.
Titus: Tell him I'll do it, a time and place of his choosing. Oh and as an apology I'll pay for Matt Tastic's hospital bill too.
Rosie: Anything else?
Titus: Do you want Taco Bell?
Fade to black where Rosie presumably repeats her He did? Balls line.
Montana: I don't care which role you pick him for, just put him in a DC Movie. What do you mean they're all cast? You were able to give Tyrone Blades the role of Aquaman. No way that's not him. Jason who? Yeah right. Look I'll need to call you back I've got another call to take.
Just as the phone line switches over, Rosie steps in the office and Montana beckons her forth.
Montana: You want my client to do what? I'm sorry, but Titus is booked full for the next week. Maybe next time.
The phone cuts off and Montana looks at Rosie with annoyance.
Montana: What the actual hell is going on?
Rosie: Who was that?
Montana: Some guy from WZCW, it doesn't matter. Answer my question. What the actual hell is going on?
Rosie is taken aback by the aggression in Montana's voice.
Rosie: With what? I'm not too sure what you're talking about Mr. Montana.
She stumbles through her words.
Montana: Avison. Titus. The FORMER EurAsian champion. Do you realise how much money I've lost since then? I've been pimping him out all over Hollywood but no one wants him for some reason.
Rosie: I think he wants to stay in wrestling.
Montana: You think? You're his assistant, you're supposed to know.
Rosie: Well then yeah.
Montana: Whys he not taking my calls? Why on earth did he cancel his appearance at Colorado Comic Con?
Rosie: He did? Balls.
Montana: Why are you still here? Go sort it.
Rosie leaves the office in a hurry. She closes the door and catches the receptionist.
Rosie: Who was...
Receptionist: Mikey Stormrage. He wants Titus to do a promo class at his school.
Rosie mouths thanks. As she heads outside Stacey Madison is waiting.
Rosie: Stacey, how can I help?
Stacey: Where is he? I've been sent by Becky as he no showed an interview with Leon and even one with Johnny.
Rosie: He's taking a media break.
Stacey: He's contractually obliged to conduct WZCW interviews as and when we request them.
Rosie: He's contractually obliged to have anyone conduct an interview on his behalf. I'll do it.
Stacey: You?
Stacey scoffs at the thought.
Stacey: Well what are his plans since losing the EurAsian championship? I read on TMZ earlier that he may be returning to acting.
Rosie: Titus Avison is committed to WZCW. The legend of the EurAvison era will live forever, just like the legends written before that were. Just like the ones after that will be. You saw last week how he decimated 456 people in the ring in one match. He didn't even break a sweat.
Stacey: He has a bigger matchup this week though, someone who is a champion. And a brand new hall of famer. Thoughts on that?
Rosie: I don't think Titus is over that time that Mikey Stormrage got a cereal named after him. Yet with this match it's a new day and he'll come at it like he does with all his matches. Resilience, skill and sheer fortitude.
Stacey: You neglected to mention Callie Clark.
Rosie: Can you remember the last time a champion was the underdog in a match? I can't. Yet here she is, yes she's beaten Lynx more times than Chris Brown beats those tunes. Yet really, if a time traveller can't work out how to win he's hardly any good. So this is a huge step up for Callie. She wants to play with the big boys, she has to beat the big boys. She wants to dodge these guys? If she's ready she want have to.
Stacey: Did you just quote the Matrix?
Rosie: Not exactly.
Stacey: Did you know that Chuck Myles has also confirmed a match for R-Awakening? Titus Avison will face Garth Black.
Rosie: He did? Balls.
The scene cuts to Keystone City, Kansas. It's clearly a few days later but at least Rosie's picking up her frequent flier miles. All the way to Hollywood for a 2 minute conversation she could have had on the phone?
In the home of Titus Avison Rosie stands in the trophy room. The belts and Oscars of yonder days are adorned. Pictures from movies and matches fill a great nostalgia. Titus is nowhere to be seen. She has with her a big bag.
Rosie: Look I get it.
Her voice echoes around the mansion, no matter what room he's in he'll hear it.
Rosie: People are concerned about you. You've got a bag of mail which was sent to the arena last week. Not even Santa Claus gets that. Before you say anything it's not from the TMZ either. It's from wrestling fans.
She rifles through the bag.
Rosie: Kids saying they never understood why their Dads always sang your praises until they saw your EurAsian reign. There are people who said they came back from wrestling after years. Other said they wanted to hate your guts because you kicked people in the dick but they just couldn't.
A voice in the distance can be heard.
Titus: John punched me in the dick. It hurt!
Rosie: Yeah well it's a shame it ended that way.
Titus appears, he's in lounge wear and doesn't look the best. The conversation takes a rather subdued tone. Both sides not showing much emotion, just almost at the brink of giving up.
Titus: It was always going to end that way. I would have done the same.
Rosie: Mr. Avison I
Titus: You can call me Titus if you want.
Rosie: Titus you need some focus in your life. There's no EurAsian match at R-Awakening. You're cancelling media interviews. Heck Montana can't even get you an acting gig.
Titus: He forgets I have more clout in Hollywood than he does. I've been contacting people to say no. Lets get me an opponent for R-Awakening and let's get focused then.
Rosie: Garth Black.
Titus: Oh come on. I thought it would be Mikey Stormrage, he's been ringing me non stop.
Rosie: He wants you to teach a lesson on how to speak promos at his wrestling school.
Titus: Why didn't he just ring you?
Rosie: He called Montana. Montana said no.
Titus: Tell him I'll do it, a time and place of his choosing. Oh and as an apology I'll pay for Matt Tastic's hospital bill too.
Rosie: Anything else?
Titus: Do you want Taco Bell?
Fade to black where Rosie presumably repeats her He did? Balls line.
Skairipa Matrix
3 Time Elite Openweight Champion
#EliteQueen
Hours After Kingdom Come: An Unknown Bar In Barcelona, Spain
I did it, I proved all the haters wrong and once again, retained MY Elite Openweight Championship! Lynx, Wren and Randy Studd came for my throne, and I knocked them back down like the peasants they are! Now it was onto the next challenger, the next opponent, but before that, I had to celebrate my victory! I went with Gabi to a bar somewhere in Barcelona for a few drinks and let loose. We took seats at the bar and ordered our first drinks, each of us getting a margarita and taking a sip. I was in such a good mood, I decided to celebrate by buying a round of drinks for everybody in the crowded bar.
Bartender! A round of ice waters for everyone!
What'd you think, I was gonna buy them real drinks? HA! As if I'd waste on my money on these horrible people! I smirked as I took a big swig of the margarita, before turning to Gabi.
Can you believe how much I dominated tonight? I mean sure Lynx was easy to beat, everybody does that and he's a complete idiot. But I beat that creepy bastard Randy Studd AND the masked coward Wren too! I really am the greatest Elite Champion!
I laughed and downed the rest of the margarita, quickly ordering another one before the rude bartender could pretend he didn't see me.
I mean think about it, the odds were stacked against me, I only had a 25 percent chance of winning....AND I BEAT THE ODDS JUST LIKE I ALWAYS DO! HAHAHAHA!
I got my second margarita and took a couple sips of it, taking a break from my bragging. Gabi simply was nodding for the moment, I could tell she wanted to say something but I didn't need a voice of reason right now so I didn't bother asking what was on her mind.
I mean sure, you got knocked down but you're not hurt right? So really, it was all for the greater good, everything we did tonight, including your sacrifice, was to make sure I kept this baby...
I picked up my championship off the seat next to me, and held it up for a moment before putting it on my shoulder.
Right where it belongs!
I drank some more of the margarita, and motioned to the bartender to get another one ready as I wasn't done celebrating yet. Gabi suddenly stood up after finishing her drink and turned to me.
I'll be right back, I'm going to try to find the bathroom in this dump.
I nodded as Gabi started to walk away, stopping to say something to the bartender who was in the process of making my next margarita. I wasn't sure what she said, but she was probably just telling him to get one ready for her. She walked away as I finished off the second margarita, and looked around the bar. I noticed a karaoke machine in use off on the other side of the bar, though someone was singing some song in Spanish currently, and sounded awful I might add, so I had no clue what they were singing. The tables were packed with people in small groups socializing, it didn't seem like many in here knew they were in the presence of greatness, but I guess that's just their loss now isn't it? If I told them they'd all line up for autographs and pictures and I didn't feel like pretending I gave a crap about these losers. Suddenly I saw the bartender place a third margarita in front of me, and a second one in front of Gabi's stool, and walk away after I waved him off, did he expect a thank you for doing his job?
After a couple more minutes, and another half margarita later I was beginning to feel it, but it helped that third margarita was stronger than the other two. Gabi walked back to her seat and sat down, asking me how I was doing and after burping, I laughed and said good. As the person singing karaoke finished, Gabi turned to me with a smile on her face, a devious one at that.
Callie! You should go sing a song!
Uh no, they probably don't even have English music anyway, and I don't speak Spanish. I'd just make myself look like an idiot.
Another margarita and a half later, I was feeling really good. I even found out I was wrong about one thing, the karaoke machine does have English songs. Gabi again turned to me as another person finished singing, I knew what she was going to say.
Callieee! C'mon, go show these people how it's done! I'll even pick a good song for you!
I was thinking about it, and finally got sick of her bugging me, or maybe the margaritas were now talking for me, but I nodded and agreed to it. Gabi grinned as she led me over to the karaoke stage and talked to the guy running it as I snatched the mic away from a girl who was about to grab it, how dare she try to steal my spotlight! Gabi nodded to me as she stood back, and pulled her phone out. Normally I wouldn't ever let her record something that could potentially be embarrassing, but this wasn't a normal situation and I wasn't thinking clearly. Suddenly the music started, and I instantly recognized the country song, and rolled my eyes. Why did Gabi like this stupid genre of music so much?! Whatever, I was gonna rock it anyway.
God I was already thinking how wrong this song was, and now I get why Gabi picked it. I could see her laughing as she was recording, but jose cuervo was doing the thinking and the talking, and was telling me to rock it. Which led me to dancing around on the stage to the beat of the music, and it was now to the chorus of the song.
Do people actually say those things? Stupid hillbillies. I continued singing the rest of the song, and ended up dancing around the entire karaoke area, much to Gabi's delight. Normally I'm not that bad at singing, but the jose cuervo has clearly damaged my singing ability. Eventually the song came to an end and for some reason, I high-fived the cheering drunks around me as I walked back to my seat. Gabi was laughing her ass off as she mentioned something about that being the best thing she's seen in her life, but little did I know she was going to tweet it out AND post it on Instagram! The night continued for a little while longer and was pretty uneventful, and eventually we left and I passed out in my hotel room to end the night.
The Next Day: Mid Afternoon In The Clark's Hotel Room
I had a huge headache, the joys of a hangover. I can't remember the last time I got drunk and I didn't really remember much from the night before. Of course it didn't take long to realize what happened, as thanks to Gabi my phone was blowing up with comments about my karaoke performance that she posted. I had watched the video, and felt truly embarrassed by her posting it. Sure I'm not a bad singer, but what the hell kinda crap song is that!? And how dare she post that! I waited for her to come back into the room, and once she did I confronted her.
Gabi! Why the hell did you post that video last night!? Better yet, why did you even take the video!?
Oh come on it was funny! You're just a redneck woman, you ain't no high-class broad!
Gabi started laughing, but this was no laughing matter. The idiots on social media were laughing at me, and this was unacceptable!
That stupid song too! It's not funny Gabi, it's embarrassing! I danced on the bar!
Gabi started laughing harder, which only annoyed me more.
Everybody lets loose once in a while, it's not that big of a deal. Hell that's not even the most embarrassing thing that's happened with someone from WZCW!
I'm not like the rest of those idiots Gabi, I'm better than them!
I shook my head in disgust and annoyance, how did she not get it!?
You know what? I need a break from you. You can fly home yourself, I have Wizard World Chicago to prepare for, and then I'm just going to go to the next city for WZCW after that. I'll call Bates for whatever cosplay costumes I need.
I started packing up my stuff, preparing to leave as Gabi looked surprised by what I said.
Callie, you can't be serious.
I didn't respond and finished packing up my stuff.
Callie, come on, you're really mad at me?
I tossed the strap of my duffel bag over my shoulder, and walked back over to her, shooting a glare at her.
Yes. Bye.
I stuck my hand in her face on my way out the door. I might have overreacted, but oh well sucks for her. She thought it was funny, I knew it wasn't, and I didn't want to be around her right now. It was finally time to get out of Spain, it had been good to me, but I was glad to have a week off so I could return to WZCW and continue being the most dominating competitor in the entire company.
Two Weeks Later: A Random Taco Bell In Minneapolis Minnesota
It had been two weeks, and I still hadn't talked to Gabi after she pissed me off in Spain. She called me multiple times but I kept sending her to voicemail. Now I had invited Harper to come out to hang out with me in Minneapolis, even buying her plane ticket. After all I needed someone to talk with as I prepared for this big match against Mikey Stormrage and Titus Avison. I offered to let her pick the place to go for lunch, and for some stupid reason she picked Taco Bell, I went along with it only because maybe I could see finally what all the rage with it was, after all one of my opponents was obsessed with it. Harper had suggested to order the "Nacho Fries Box" as they called it, and I figured it sounded better than most of the things on the menu, so I ordered that as did Harper, we took our boxes of food and sat down at one of the tables and began to unwrap the food as we started talking.
So Kingdom Come, you looked pretty good out there. I mean you beat three opponents, that's pretty impressive.
I smiled, compliments can get you anywhere sometimes.
I know right? But those opponents are nothing compared to my opponents this week, I have to face not one, but two hall of famers this week. And one of them, that fat bastard Mikey Stormrage somehow got himself a match for my championship at R-Awakening.
Oh yeah that's gonna be a tough match for you, and Mikey is like, three times your weight. How the hell are you gonna use some of your offense on him dude?
Three times? Try like five times! He might be listed at 361 pounds, but there's no way that fatty isn't at least 400 pounds, if not 500. There's no way I'll be able to lift him up for Lights Out, I'd probably break my back!
I shook my head and took a bite of a taco with a nacho cheese Doritos shell, which wasn't nearly as good as it sounds. The shell was soggy, there wasn't nearly enough meat, cheese and lettuce in it, and the mild sauce? Yeah that was flavorless. I did finish the taco though, after all I paid for it and I wasn't going to waste my money.
And let's not forget what he did to "earn" a title match, he used MY private bathroom in MY private locker room, which even though I wasn't there, was still mine! I mean how does that earn him a title match? So what if he won at Kingdom Come, he beat Mark Keaton and Triple X, I would have beat them too if it wasn't for Kagura choking! And if it's that easy to get a title match, then can I use Tyrone Blades's bathroom in his locker room to get a shot at him? Probably not, because my boss hates me.
I shook my head in annoyance as I ate a couple nacho fries, basically normal french fries with taco spices on them and nacho cheese to dip them in, and I have to admit, those were delicious. Easily the best thing in the box. Not worth embracing a "Live Mas" lifestyle though.
And then there's Titus, who admiringly has beat me before. But that was a different Titus!
I ate some more fries, and took a bite of the burrito. I took one bite and was done with that, the idiot workers just put a big glob of sour cream in one spot and I almost puked upon biting into that. I thought about going up to the counter and demanding a refund, or throwing the burrito at them, but Harper offered to trade me her fries for my burrito, and that spared the workers my wrath. As I began eating what was left of her fries, Harper spoke up.
What do you mean, a different Titus?
Simple. When I faced him, he had his championship and his 2 year title reign going. Now? His reign of terror is over, he's no longer the Eurasian Champion and couldn't even beat a guy who was wrestling his last match! I know better than anybody, you aren't the same when you lose your championship, you might become desperate, you might feel broken, but one way or another you just aren't your usual self. Besides what does he have to gain from winning this match? Nothing.
Harper nodding, listening to what I was saying. Sometimes I think she knows I like to talk and just lets me do it.
In fact I'm the one with everything to gain from winning this match, if I beat two hall of famers do you know how important that is? I'll have the entire wrestling world talking about me! The idiots saying beating Tastic was a fluke and I can't beat big names would be proven wrong, I'd prove to Mikey that nerds always finish behind the popular girl, and I'd get my win back on Titus, which by the way is the real fluke win!
I nodded and finished off the nacho fries, boy those were good. I'll have to remember to ask Bates to make a gourmet version for me sometime. Harper nodded as she chewed a bite of the burrito, before responding to me in words this time.
You know Mikey doesn't seem like a bad guy, why don't you like him? But I agree about Titus, it does seem a little flukey from what you told me that you lost to him.
Why didn't I like Mikey? Why didn't I like Mikey? It wasn't obvious?!
Doesn't seem like a bad guy? He's disgusting, fat, a gigantic nerd, ugly, overrated, immature, and he's just everything wrong with this world! He's basically my total opposite.
I shook my head in disgust.
News flash, it's 2018, dick jokes and poop jokes aren't funny anymore!
I rolled my eyes.
But maybe after I beat him he can come here and order one of everything on the menu ,wait that's probably his usual order. He'll likely have to order 5 of everything on the menu to mourn getting his ass kicked by the Elite Queen!
I laughed at my own joke, and even got a chuckle out of Harper. We finished eating and left the restaurant. As we got back into the car, we continued talking.
So what about Titus? You told me how you fought him before, and how he had a long championship reign and is an actor from legends I've heard. But what else?
Ummm let see, he's a good technical wrestler, he's on Team Valor on Pokemon Go, which be tee dubs, is totes inferior to Team Mystic.
I winked.
He thinks he's a superhero sometimes named Red Mask, and triple threat matches happen to be his weakness, which I'll totes take advantage of.
Harper nodded, and seemed surprised by how much I knew. As if I wouldn't do my homework and know everything important there is to know about my opponents, puh-lease!
So what do you think your best way to win will be?
Simple, let those two fools fight each other while I sit back and watch, and then when I see the chance to strike I sneak in, and strike.
I nodded.
At Ascension, Mikey Stormrage and Titus will bow to the Elite Queen, a nerd gets beaten up and the only legends anybody is going to hear about Titus, is how he got pinned by the fastest rising superstar in WZCW history on her way to the top of the mountain.
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