The show begins and opens up not to pyros or intro music, but to the sweet entrance music of: [YOUTUBE]0NhpvaarTQA[/YOUTUBE] The crowd warmly welcomes the The Mechanical Man Machine of Mechanics, S.H.I.T.! S.H.I.T.: Greetings human members of the WZCW metaphorical universe! Greetings! S.H.I.T. appears on the entrance ramp with the WZCW Elite X Title draped over its blunt shoulder. It slowly begins to make its way down the entrance ramp. However, there is something off about his entrance. Despite projecting to the crowd, it does not have a microphone. S.H.I.T.: S.H.I.T. has collected data on all past champions. It has determined that superstars who have a championship belt speak more on the microphone than when they do not. Therefore, S.H.I.T. has eliminated the need to hold a microphone and has installed one in its' internal structure. This is why S.H.I.T. is the best Elite X Champion of all time! Ahead of the human metaphorical curve! The crowd pops as they seem highly amused by S.H.I.T.'s shtick. It finally reaches the ring and slowly clinks and clanks its' way up the steel steps and into the ring. S.H.I.T.: Now locating generic post-championship win opening in-ring promo. The crowd laughs. S.H.I.T.: First, S.H.I.T. would like to address the long journey it has faced in the industry. Now, S.H.I.T. will list every single detail about his long two-year career in the WZCW. First, there was the surprise match against Austin Reynolds. It was a Sunday and he was wearing black socks- Serra: S.H.I.T., honey? S.H.I.T. stops and looks over at Becky Serra at the announcer's booth. Serra: This crowd loves you, and I think you can spare us what is probably a very long list of details. We know where you came from, don't we crowd? The crowd pops. We see Serra sit back down in the announcer's booth to let S.H.I.T. continue. S.H.I.T.: Fine, but speaking of cheap pops, S.H.I.T. will now recite the name of the town we are in. Now accessing GPS calculation system! The crowd cheers as S.H.I.T. calculates. S.H.I.T.: Location determined. Phoenix, Arizona! The crowd pops. S.H.I.T.: Phoenix Arizona! The crowd pops again! S.H.I.T.: Phoenix Arizona!! The crowd really pops on the third time. S.H.I.T.: Thank you human members of the metaphorical WZCW universe. Now, S.H.I.T. will address its match tonight with great "eagerness". Error! Human emotion of "eagerness" could not be found. Therefore, S.H.I.T. will address the match in its' normal emotionless state. Chris K.O., a former ally of S.H.I.T.. Now turned sour by the darkness of the world. S.H.I.T. has determined that he is beyond saving. Therefore, he must be destroyed! The crowd pops! S.H.I.T.: Dustin Hunter, one-half of the failed tag team known as Carnival of Carnage; log note #45325, the acronym C.O.C. has nothing to do with the human genitalia. Dustin Hunter has a failing record and statistically is the weakest link of the team. Therefore, he must be destroyed! The crowd re-pops. S.H.I.T.: Finally, Jimmy Flynn my partner. He is about as emotionless as S.H.I.T., therefor our team is built upon perfect synergy. However, should Flynn happen to turn to evil, he must be destroyed! The crowd pops once again with laughs. S.H.I.T.: Thus concludes S.H.I.T.'s generic post-championship win opening in-ring promo. The crowd approves of the promo as S.H.I.T.'s music begins to play. Klamor: Well, that was an odd way to start our show. Serra: Indeed it was partner, but I can't help but feel like S.H.I.T. is going to make a grand Elite X Champion. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Aftershock 26, we have tournament matches and the Elite X & EurAsian Champion in action tonight, don't go away! ___________________________ XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX [youtube]8l__GDO3_zo[/youtube] _____________________________ XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Chuck Myles is sitting behind his desk at a temporary office backstage, sorting through a big stack of papers. Myles: Jeeze, I haven’t filled out one of these contract battle royale forms in ages. Alright, let’s see what we have in terms of talent. Bobby Adams… oh great, an indy darling turned national talent, I can already hear the internet clamoring for him to get a title shot. Next we have… Theron Daggershield? What in the Middle Earth is this guy’s deal? So now all you need to get a shot in the bigs is crazy hair and a 20 sided die? Alright, well I’m sure it can’t get any weirder than HOLY SMOKES WHAT IS ON THIS GUY’S FACE?! Fallout? This guy is some sort of freak. I do not look forward to working with this guy. Alright, who’s next? Myles puts down the stack of papers he has and picks up a new one. Myles: Alright, this guy looks fairly normal: Joey Sexton. Let’s just take a look at his history… and that’s a lot of sexual harassment lawsuits. Who hires these idiots anyway? Sheesh. And what the hell is this guy’s deal? Dr. Coberer? We have too many doctors in this company, and none of them seem interested in helping people. And last but not least we have Anthony Corvus, who appears to be a Batman wannabe. Myles drops the stack of papers on his desk and buries his head in hands. Myles: It’s gonna be a long year.