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  #1  
Old 05-24-2017, 04:44 PM
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Randy Orton's Head Blood Randy Orton's Head Blood is offline
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Default Kayfabe News

Whenever a Kayfabe News piece makes me laugh, I'll post it in here so you guys can read it. We'll start of with this little chestnut;

Quote:
WWE holds auditions for next wrestler to portray Undertaker character

World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) announced this morning that a new reality show on the company’s video streaming network will chronicle the audition process to find a new wrestler to portray The Undertaker.

Titled “America’s Next Top Deadman,” the program will feature contestants performing a set of The Undertaker’s signature moves, from the arena-illuminating arm raise to the slow-hat-removal the eyes-rolled-back-tongue-jut.

The man who portrayed The Undertaker for more than two decades, Marcus Alexander Calaway, will be a judge on the show, alongside Heidi Klum, Howie Mandel, and the Undertaker’s greatest opponent, Nathan Jones.

Portraying The Undertaker is considered one of the highest honors in sports entertainment, up there with headlining WrestleMania and being a Funkadactyl.

According to leaked documents, contestants vying to become the next Undertaker include:

Baron Corbin
Shinsuke Nakamura
Abyss
Fake Diesel
Isaac Yankem
Kane
Glenn Jacobs
Hornswoggle sitting on Hunico’s shoulders and wearing a long trenchcoat
“Now that I’m resting in peace in retirement,” said Calaway, “let’s find out who will urn the right to carry on the Undertaker role. Get it? Urn? I’m hilarious.”
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  #2  
Old 05-24-2017, 05:38 PM
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ヒュー G. レックション ヒュー G. レックション is offline
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I seriously wouldn't have been opposed to Reigns doing it, with his own spin on it of course.
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  #3  
Old 05-24-2017, 06:35 PM
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Confused Trump thought he was going to meet D’Angelo Dinero

Quote:
United States President Donald Jimmyjam Trump was visibly befuddled yesterday when, upon arriving at the Vatican, he realized he was not going to meet professional wrestler “Pope” D’Angelo Dinero.

Trump had spent weeks looking forward to chatting with the Impact Wrestling star, and was keen to discuss Dinero’s recent match against Trump’s former surrogate in the Battle of the Billionaires, Bobby Lashley.

“Oh,” said Trump upon meeting Pope Francis on Tuesday. “Um, hi. Did you see the size of my inauguration crowd?”

Several awkward minutes passed as Trump regaled the indifferent Pope with tales of the time he shaved Vince McMahon’s head.

Trump told reporters last week that he is a “yuge fan” of the Pope, but many were confused by his follow-up comment: “I especially liked him as Elijah Burke.”

Trump’s overseas travel has taken also taken him to Saudi Arabia and Israel, but the pilot of Air Force One is reportedly confused about Trump’s latest request to visit Parts Unknown.
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  #4  
Old 05-25-2017, 09:53 AM
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The most recent kayfabe news that made me laugh was people actually believing WWE's report that Strowman would be out 6-8 months.
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  #5  
Old 05-25-2017, 10:04 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fire Marshall Bill View Post
The most recent kayfabe news that made me laugh was people actually believing WWE's report that Strowman would be out 6-8 months.
I believed it. I amn't smart like you.
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  #6  
Old 05-25-2017, 03:04 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ShinChan View Post
I believed it. I amn't smart like you.
So after a brief google search, amn't is actually used in a few countries. News to me.

Anyway, I would figure by now anyone would know to take a WWE story with a lunar-sized grain of salt. But don't feel too bad. You weren't the only one to go for it.
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  #7  
Old 05-25-2017, 04:06 PM
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Amn't. Nice.
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The story needs to play out, but right now, Crocker seems more right than you.
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  #8  
Old 05-25-2017, 11:18 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fire Marshall Bill View Post
So after a brief google search, amn't is actually used in a few countries. News to me.

Anyway, I would figure by now anyone would know to take a WWE story with a lunar-sized grain of salt. But don't feel too bad. You weren't the only one to go for it.
Well, I myself find "amn't" awkward. So, I used to use "ain't". Then it was said that it isn't a sign of educated person. So I don't what to use with "I ___ smart like you". I ain't smart isn't as awkward as I amn't smart.

Can you tell what to use?
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  #9  
Old 05-26-2017, 01:28 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ShinChan View Post
Well, I myself find "amn't" awkward. So, I used to use "ain't". Then it was said that it isn't a sign of educated person. So I don't what to use with "I ___ smart like you". I ain't smart isn't as awkward as I amn't smart.

Can you tell what to use?
Whichever one you want and fuck what anyone thinks about it.
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  #10  
Old 05-26-2017, 12:24 PM
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Are people really hung up on "ain't"?
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Originally Posted by Hunter S. Thompson
"When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro."
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