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Old 04-10-2017, 02:35 AM
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klunderbunker klunderbunker is offline
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klunderbunker is a World Heavyweight Champion...and is being held down by Triple H...klunderbunker is a World Heavyweight Champion...and is being held down by Triple H...klunderbunker is a World Heavyweight Champion...and is being held down by Triple H...klunderbunker is a World Heavyweight Champion...and is being held down by Triple H...klunderbunker is a World Heavyweight Champion...and is being held down by Triple H...klunderbunker is a World Heavyweight Champion...and is being held down by Triple H...klunderbunker is a World Heavyweight Champion...and is being held down by Triple H...klunderbunker is a World Heavyweight Champion...and is being held down by Triple H...klunderbunker is a World Heavyweight Champion...and is being held down by Triple H...klunderbunker is a World Heavyweight Champion...and is being held down by Triple H...klunderbunker is a World Heavyweight Champion...and is being held down by Triple H...
Default Week of 4/3/2017 - 4/9/2017

Monday

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 3, 2017
Location: Amway Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

IT'S CRAZY NIGHT! This show has a reputation for being the most over the top and often completely ridiculous show with the crowd making the night all about them. It's hard to say what we might see on here but odds are it's going to be some debuts and other major announcements, as is often the case on this show. Let's get to it.

I was in the arena for this show, sitting in the upper deck and looking almost straight at the screen with the hard cameras on my left. On a personal note, while I was getting food before the show, for the first time ever, a fan recognized me. I'm not sure who you were but thank you very much as that made my night.

The opening video looks at the end of Wrestlemania with Roman Reigns outlasting Undertaker and spearing him over and over for Undertaker's second loss at Wrestlemania. This seemed to signal Undertaker's retirement after the match, marking the end of a nearly four DECADE career in WWE.

We open with the fans chanting for Undertaker and not letting up on it, which is the only way this should go. Some ROMAN SUCKS chants start up and slowly get louder than the pro-Undertaker crowd. Here's Roman, which is the best way they can possibly start something like this. Cole says last night might have been the last ride for Undertaker and calls him the greatest performer ever in WWE. I know he just retired but that's some strong hyperbole.

The chants start up as soon as the music stops with DELETE, F*** YOU ROMAN, DELETE, YOU SUCK, A**HOLE, RO-MAN SUCKS, DELETE, SHUT THE F*** UP and GO AWAY. Reigns finally gets in five words with “This is my yard now” before dropping the mic and walking out. This was MASTERFUL with Reigns cashing in on all the hatred the fans have for him after he destroyed one of their heroes. It's not clear if this was a heel turn but if it's not, they're actually dumber than I thought.

The announcers do their standard “yeah it's weird but WE TOTALLY LOVE IT!” spiel.

Ad for Wrestlemania XXXIV in New Orleans. This probably aired seven times in two days with people getting sick of it by the end.

Tag Team Titles: Anderson and Gallows vs. Hardy Boyz

Matt and Jeff are defending and this is one of the best things they could put on so early. The fans are going to cheer for the Hardys all night so let them get it out of their system here instead of giving them the focus all night. Anderson and Jeff start things off with the champs quickly shifting to Matt, who gets two off the Side Effect. It's WAY too early for the Twist of Fate so the champs settle for sending the bald guys to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Matt in trouble and the second WELCOME BACK chant of the match. I think we know they're back by this point. Now it's the F*** THAT OWL chant and I'm really not liking these fans turning a PG show into something this vulgar. Yeah I know there's the whole “I bought a ticket and I can say what I want” defense but what would your response be to someone going to a Disney movie and then loudly swearing the whole time?

Anderson holds Matt open for a kick to the ribs but Matt gets over for the hot tag, triggering the DELETE chants. A basement dropkick and splash of all things gets two but Gallows crotches Jeff on the top. The Boot of Doom gets two (with Cole spoiling the kickout by saying we're going to have new champions) but Matt breaks up the Magic Killer. The Twist of Fate into the Swanton retains the titles at 10:38.

Stills of HHH vs. Seth Rollins.

Here's Neville to basically say “HAHA I TOLD YOU SO!” There's going to be a full celebration tomorrow night on 205 Live....but here's Mustafa Ali to interrupt.

Mustafa Ali vs. Neville

Non-title. A quick hurricanrana puts Neville down and a kick to the head puts him on the floor. Naturally that means a big dive, only to have Neville toss him into the air for a big crash down to the mat. Back from a break with the fans chanting for the beach balls, which were ALL OVER the arena at this point. There were at least ten going around at various points, which is why a headlock on the mat is getting the loudest reaction in history.

Neville stops to glare at the crowd but Ali kicks him in the face during the distraction. The rolling neckbreaker gives Ali two as the fans are chanting BEACH BALL MANIA. Graves tries to keep the focus on the match, saying the crowd is just going to make Neville even angrier. The fans boo when a security guard takes one away, which is just a second before Neville hits a hard clothesline.

With the frustration growing, Cole actually explains the BEACH BALL MANIA concept. In an attempt to get the fans watching what they actually paid for, Ali grabs a top rope Spanish Fly to put both guys down. Fans: “HEY! WE WANT SOME BEACH BALL!” Ali hits a superkick and a reverse hurricanrana, followed by a hard tornado DDT for two. The inverted 450 misses and Neville goes up, looks at the crowd, and jumps down for the Rings of Saturn and the submission instead at 10:31.

The match was great stuff though with Ali continuing to show just how awesome he can be. Give him a bit of a character upgrade and he'll be a future champion. I really liked Neville here too as instead of ignoring the beach ball nonsense, he tied it into his character who was tired of being disrespected. It's very tiresome to watch a match when something big is going on and the wrestlers have to ignore it. Tie it into the match so things can seem a bit more real.

Vince arrives. You had to know that was going to happen.

Here's Vince for the start of the second hour. Naturally the fans sing his song, drawing a big grin from the boss. A ROMAN SUCKS chant starts up but Vince talks over it (and it goes away), thanking the fans for being so passionate. Wrestlemania may be over but next week we're having a Superstar Shake Up because it's time to shake things up. We have some very sad footage from last night, which shows Stephanie going through a table.

That's going to put Stephanie out for awhile and since we have no General Manager, it's time to hire someone new. The new GM was inducted into the Hall of Fame over the weekend....and here's Teddy Long. Teddy starts dancing until Vince shouts that it's not him. Vince: “TEDDY STOP DANCING!” It's not you!” Teddy: “It's not me?” Vince: “It's not you!” Teddy: “Well....my bad! Holla holla holla!” It's Kurt Angle of course and that's as good of an option as they really had. Angle hits the catchphrase and is already out.

Stills of Kevin Owens beating Chris Jericho for the US Title.

Here's New Day, still with no New Day Pops for purchase. Kofi and Xavier do have what appear to be ice cream cone shoulder pads though. Woods issues an open challenge and CUE TOP GUYS!

New Day vs. Revival

Oh you know they're getting the pop of the night on this show. Dawson SHOVES THE CART OVER so you know it's serious. Woods and Dawson start things off as the beach balls are completely forgotten. Revival starts in on Xavier's arm with Dawson getting in a nasty looking crank. Graves: “That won't separate your shoulder. It'll divorce it!” The arm work continues after the break but Woods sneaks over and gets in the tag to Big E. Suplexes abound as everything breaks down. Big E. is sent outside, leaving Woods to try the Honor Roll....right into a Shatter Machine for the pin at 8:04.

Post match Revival takes out Kofi's ankle.

Angle is getting his office ready (with a box of gold medals) when Enzo and Big Cass come in. Enzo: “And you can't teach that!” Angle: “Not in any college I've ever heard of.” Enzo on Big Cass being tall: “And you can't teach that!” Angle looks up: “You sure can't!” Enzo: “How you doin?” Angle: “I'm doing great! I was just inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame and now I'm the new General Manager of Monday Night Raw. How are you guys doing?”

Not too well apparently because they want a title shot. Enzo also wants to know why Goofy is treated like a human and Pluto is treated like a dog. Angle: “I have no idea what you're talking about right now.” As for their title issues, Kurt gives them a #1 contenders match against Sheamus/Cesaro tonight so Cass promises to prove the two of them are S-A-W-F-T. Enzo and Cass leave as Angle realizes that's not how you spell soft. This was HILARIOUS and one of the first things I wanted to see when Angle was announced as the new GM.

Bayley/Sasha Banks/Dana Brooke vs. Nia Jax/Charlotte/Emma

Yes Emma instead of Emmalina. Emma does her pose on the announcers' table and is all fired up with Graves suddenly being a huge fan. Charlotte and Dana start things off but Emma tags herself in. A low dropkick puts Dana down and it's off to Bayley for a showdown. The announcers keep talking about how Emma doesn't know who she is but thankfully shift over to her new found aggression. Bayley takes her down and rolls around Emma's back as we take a break.

Back with Bayley in trouble as the announcers talk about Nia being unstoppable at Wrestlemania. You know, until she was stopped. Bayley gets caught in the Tree of Woe for some choking but she's able to send Charlotte to the floor. The hot tag brings in Sasha for the house cleaning, including the double knees in the corner for two on Charlotte. Everything breaks down and Bayley dives on Nia, leaving Sasha to grab the Bank Statement to make Charlotte tap at 9:14.

Post match Charlotte yells at Nia and is promptly laid out in what feels like a face turn for Jax. Emma gets stared down and immediately bails in a smart move.

Sami Zayn is in Angle's office and talks about wanting to cultivate a relationship with him like the one Sami had with Foley. Angle says Zayn demonstrates the three I's and thinks he'll be fine. Jinder Mahal comes in to complain about the battle royal. Kurt gets tired of the arguing and puts them in a match tonight.

Here are Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar for a chat. Brock is a little happier than normal tonight and has allowed Heyman to tell us a bedtime story that both of their children hear. There once was a superhero named Goldberg who stood for honor and valor and all that good stuff. Then he took the Universal Title but went on a little side trip through south central Suplex City where the Beast beat him up and took his title. The happy ending: there's no more Goldberg around here ever again. Fans: “THANK YOU BROCK!”

That means Brock needs new challengers. Fans: “FINN! FINN! FINN!” Heyman suggests Seth Rollins, either Hardys or even both Hardys but let's talk about the 2 in 23-2. Yes he means Roman Reigns and history says that these two must meet. If Reigns is the big dog then Lesnar is animal cruelty. Heyman wants to do it tonight but here's Braun Strowman instead to not much of a reaction (not that surprising). Strowman wants Lesnar's attention because Brock already has his. Lesnar lays the title down in front of Strowman and says bring it but Strowman leaves instead.

So that happened. I know we're getting Lesnar vs. Reigns in New Orleans whether we like it or not but I really, REALLY hope they don't announce it in advance as it makes everything until then seem like a waste of time. Let the story get there on its own and things will likely be a lot better. As far as Strowman.....in theory he's next for Reigns but I don't see how you have Strowman lose to Reigns to set up Strowman vs. Lesnar, nor do I see how you have Reigns lose to Strowman for any reason at all.

Chris Jericho is confirmed to have a rematch with Kevin Owens at Payback. As for tonight though, he loves this raucous crowd and BEACH BALL MANIA IS RUNNING WILD BABY! These people are the friends of Jericho, los amigos de Jericho or the mates of Jericho. CHEER HIM ON MAN! Tonight he's starting his revenge against Kevin Owens and he'll stat with the tip of Owens' finger. Last night the tip of Owens' finger saved him and do you know what that means? THE TIP OF OWENS' FINGER JUST MADE THE LIST!

Cue Owens and Samoa Joe to beat Jericho down and put him through a table. I'm sure this won't result in Jericho being pulled out of tonight's tag team match (Rollins/Jericho vs. Owens/Joe). Even if it does, that's totally different than last year's post-Wrestlemania Raw where Owens powerbombed Sami through a table to take him out of the main event. See, that took Sami out of a four way and this year is a tag match. Totally different story.

Jericho is out of the main event but Angle promises to find Rollins a new tag partner. Just start the FINN chants now.

Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. Sheamus/Cesaro

The winners get the Hardys, presumably at Payback. Enzo is in Orlando Magic themed gear and gets an early two on Cesaro. Now we get the catchy chant of the night with “SHEAMUS AND CESARO! HEY HEY HEY!” I couldn't make it out from the stands (I heard “SHEAMUS IS AWESOME”) but Cesaro chants it for a bit as well. Cass avoids a charge in the corner but gets the back of his neck snapped across the top rope.

Cesaro tries to come in for a save so Cass launches Enzo at him instead. It works so well that he launches him at both of them again, sending us to a break. Back with Enzo getting thrown around as the Sheamus and Cesaro chants continue. Cass gets dropkicked through the ropes and it's time for Enzo to go swinging. The Sharpshooter is broken up though and it's time for the Bada Boom Shaka Lacka, only to have a Brogue Kick drop Cass. Sheamus launches Enzo into an uppercut from Cesaro for the pin and the title shot at 9:47.

We see some Tweets from wrestlers on Undertaker's retirement.

Sami Zayn vs. Jinder Mahal

Jinder jumps him before the bell and the referee actually bothers to ask if Sami can go. Mahal takes him down for a kneedrop and grabs an early chinlock as the OLE's start up in a hurry. Sami fights up, hits the exploder into the corner and finishes with the Helluva Kick at 2:21.

Samoa Joe/Kevin Owens vs. Seth Rollins/???

You know it's going to be Finn Balor, I know it's going to be Finn Balor and the crowd knows it's going to be Finn Balor, all of which I type during the entrances, capped of by......hey look it's Finn Balor. Other than maybe Nakamura, this was the only realistic option they had and it's the right call. Thankfully the commentators are smart enough to keep quiet until Balor has been able to get in four poses.

Rollins and Owens start things off with Kevin ducking a low superkick for a standoff, meaning it's off to Joe for a slugout with Seth. A quick trip to the corner is enough for the hot tag to Balor as the NXT chants start up. The fact that four former NXT Champions (and three former WWE World Champions) are main eventing this show is an amazing sign. Owens bails from the threat of a double team but gets taken down by a suicide dive.

That's not enough for Seth as he hits a big flip dive onto both villains, only to bang up the knee and get caught by a DDT back inside. The STUPID IDIOT chants start (I would have expected them earlier) as Owens grabs a chinlock. It's back to Joe to crush the knee again as those gold tights are making me think of Savage's bad knee at Wrestlemania VIII.

Joe misses a backsplash though and Rollins enziguris his way into a hot tag to Balor. Chops and kicks a go-go ensue but Owens catches him in something like a swinging White Noise for two. Rollins breaks up the Koquina Clutch and the running dropkick into the corner sets up the Coup de Grace to put Owens away at 12:12.

Rollins and Balor pose to end the show, apparently burying the hatchet over Balor's wrecked shoulder.

Results
Hardys b. Anderson and Gallows – Swanton Bomb to Gallows
Neville b. Mustafa Ali – Rings of Saturn
Revival b. New Day – Shatter Machine to Woods
Bayley/Sasha Banks/Dana Brooke b. Nia Jax/Charlotte/Emma – Bank Statement to Charlotte
Cesaro/Sheamus b. Enzo Amore and Big Cass – Uppercut to Amore
Sami Zayn b. Jinder Mahal – Helluva Kick
Finn Balor/Seth Rollins b. Samoa Joe/Kevin Owens – Coup de Grace to Owens

Tuesday

Smackdown
Date: April 4, 2017
Location: Amway Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, John Bradshaw Layfield, David Otunga

Now this could be interesting as we could get the post-Wrestlemania moments without as smarky of a crowd. A lot of people are going to get tired of how over the top things get on Raw and I'm not sure how strong that's going to be here. The big name people are expecting tonight is Shinsuke Nakamura as there's no reason for him not to show up here. Let's get to it.

I was in the arena for this show, sitting in the upper deck with the hard camera on my left and the rigging above the ring blocking part of the Titantron. The dark match saw American Alpha defeat the Vaudevillains in about 4:00 with the Steiner Bulldog to English in Gotch's final match with the promotion.

As you might expect, we open with a long recap of Wrestlemania.

Here's Randy Orton to open things up. Do you remember when he said “If you can't beat em, join em? And when the time is right, screw em?”. Well he forgot part of it: When you get in the ring with them, beat them up! Randy proved that he's the master but here's Bray on screen to say this has just begun. Sister Abigail promised him so many things so he wants a House of Horrors match. Orton doesn't know what that is but he agrees.

The screen goes off and Bray appears in the ring for the brawl. Erick Rowan, in a new mask, comes out from underneath the ring and the announcers don't recognize him despite the BIG RED BEARD. Luke Harper comes out for the save, likely setting up a tag match later tonight.

Miz and Maryse didn't think much of the proposal on Sunday because it felt like good marketing. Tonight though, they're calling out Cena and Nikki, possibly for the last time with the Superstar Shakeup looming.

Women's Title: Naomi vs. Alexa Bliss

Bliss is challenging and is even more serious than usual. JBL wants to know if Naomi can do it two nights in a row because he can't count. Naomi sends her face first into the buckle and we head outside for a break. Back with Bliss in control due to Naomi tweaking her knee again. Bliss cranks on the leg and the fans can't decide between DELETE, STUPID IDIOT or basic applause. Unfortunately they do have the “1-2-SWEET!” chant for near falls, which just sounds horrible.

Naomi comes back with a kick to the face for two, only to have Bliss grab a DDT for the same. The Rear View gets two but Naomi gets pulled off the ropes for a crash. Not that it matters as she grabs a sunset flip but switches over to the reverse Crossface to retain the title at 10:18.

Here's Curt Hawkins to ask why no one is talking about him. He wants some attention so let's have an open challenge. I think you know what's coming.

Curt Hawkins vs. Tye Dillinger

The fans had been BEGGING to explode for Tye all weekend as that TEN chant was going crazy for every show I took in. You can see the emotion on Dillinger's face as he's spent a LONG time trying to get here. Dillinger immediately snapmares him down and cartwheels into the TEN so we can get that out of the way. A series of strikes drops Hawkins and sets up the ten left hands in the corner. The Tyebreaker is good for the pin at 1:53. This was all it needed to be, though I have a bad feeling Tye is going to find out that his chant is more over than he is.

Mojo Rawley's mind is blown by winning the Battle Royal and wishes he could have seen Andre on a dance floor. This is the biggest moment of his night and the bar has been raised. Now it's time to throw some weight on it. I really hope this goes somewhere for him. This year at Axxess, I was waiting in line to get inside the Elimination Chamber when Rawley walked by during the session change. It took Rawley about six minutes to walk thirty feet as he stopped and talked to, shook hands with, high fived or took pictures with every single fan on the railing. You don't see that often and it's a classy move.

Here are Miz and Maryse to Cena's full entrance, complete with Maryse doing Nikki's dance. If you pay attention from a distance, you could tell it was Miz by the way he moved but at a glance, you really could be fooled by this. Doing the robotic Cena voice, Miz says rule #1 is you can't say John Cena sucks. Maryse thanks “John” for being manipulated into doing whatever she wanted, including giving her this rock (the size of a small doorknob). They're leaving WWE and going to Hollywood, where you won't be able to see us.

They go to leave (a shame as that means no more Maryse as Nikki, which really works for her).....and we've got a man playing a violin. You know what that means: SHINSUKE NAKAMURA makes his debut with the fans singing/humming/WHOAing/whatever it is you call making the sounds of his wordless music to the pop of the night.

We go to a break with Nakamura posing, during which Dolph Ziggler came out to challenge him for the dark match main event.

Dean Ambrose vs. Baron Corbin

Non-title street fight. Corbin stomps him down in the corner and chokeshoves Dean down (Bliss actually does it better) before going outside for a chair. Dean baseball slides it into his face and knocks Corbin into the crowd as we take a break. Back with Corbin spearing Ambrose through a table in the corner for no cover, followed by a good whipping with a strap.

Dean sends him head first into a chair wedged in the corner and now it's his turn to give a whipping. The top rope elbow to the floor drops Baron again and Dean puts him on a table. Another elbow puts him through it but Baron grabs End of Days back inside for the quick pin at 11:03.

Here's Shane McMahon to talk about the Superstar Shakeup. After soaking in the cheers, Shane thanks the fans for being so hospitable over the last week. This Monday's Shakeup could send anyone anywhere but everyone should be hoping they come to Smackdown, the land of opportunity. Cue AJ Styles to say he doesn't want to go anywhere. Everyone knows that this is the house that he built and he shake's Shane's hands. A tease of more violence seems to be a joke and AJ walks away in what feels like a face turn.

Luke Harper/Randy Orton vs. Wyatt Family

Orton and Rowan get things going with Erick hitting his spinning kick as we take an early break. Tom: “Can Orton and Harper get back in this?” It was one kick man. Back with Bray missing a charge into the corner and Harper coming in off the hot tag. The fans around me thought that would be Harper rejoining Bray and that really wouldn't have surprised me. Harper is quickly sent outside for a running clothesline from Rowan, setting up a pull on the face.

It's back to Bray for some slow stomping, followed by a hard right hand for two. Rowan hammers away some more in the corner and rips at the face again. Bray grabs a chinlock before missing a charge, allowing for the tag off to Orton. The DDT looks to set up the RKO but there go the lights and Bray winds up on the ramp. Orton RKO's Rowan for the pin at 12:13.

After the taping and 205 Live, Nakamura beat Ziggler in about 8:30 with Kinshasa in a pretty standard dark match.

Results
Naomi b. Alexa Bliss – Reverse Crossface
Tye Dillinger b. Curt Hawkins – Tyebreaker
Baron Corbin b. Dean Ambrose – End of Days
Randy Orton/Luke Harper b. Wyatt Family – RKO to Rowan

Wednesday

Simon Gotch is gone from WWE in a mutual decision.

NXT
Date: April 5, 2017
Location: Amway Center, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 14,975
Commentators: Nigel McGuinness, Percy Watson, Tom Phillips

This is the FINAL show from Wrestlemania week as this week's episode consists of the dark matches from before Takeover: Orlando. You can expect a lot of recaps and quick comments from most of the people on Saturday's show, meaning this is kind of a breather before we get going again. Let's get to it.

I was in the arena for this show, sitting in the upper deck and looking down at the hard cameras to my very slight right with the Titantron on my left.

A long recap of Takeover gets us going, of course.

Opening sequence.

The announcers chat about Takeover, which hadn't happened as they talk.

Peyton Royce vs. Aliyah

Nigel has a rather creepy sounding crush on Peyton and Billie Kay. Peyton sends her face first into the mat to start and looks over to Billie for approval. Aliyah takes Peyton down so Billie grabs her hands, starting a tug of war. Back up and Peyton pulls Aliyah's arms while bending backwards over the ropes for an impressive looking hold. Aliyah comes back with a few Japanese armdrags, only to get kneed in the face. A fisherman's suplex ends Aliyah at 2:50. Royce looked good but Aliyah still needs a lot of polish.

Quick look at Takeover's eight person tag.

Quick look at the Women's Title match.

Asuka asks who is left for her. This sounded much more heelish than her usual.

Quick look at Aleister Black's debut. Andrade Cien Almas was as a club just a few hours after the loss. The announcers make this sound like a big problem for him.

Heavy Machinery vs. Bollywood Boyz

This was taped first and I actually missed it as the taping started before the scheduled time on the tickets. I hope it's just due to the size of the arena but the Boyz come out to SILENCE. They've also turned heel and now don't care what people think of them because they're doing it their way. Harv and Tucker start things off and an early jumping bearhug has Harv in trouble.

Otis comes in so Tucker throws Harv from one bearhug into another. Gurv comes in and tries to dance at Otis, earning himself a double splash from the big guys. The Boyz take Otis into the corner until a double suplex cuts off anything they had going. The hot tag brings Tucker back in and Otis lifts Harv up for a slam with Tucker diving onto his partner's back for added weight. Whatever is left of Harv is pinned at 3:20.

Oney Lorcan isn't worried about facing a mystery opponent.

Quick look at the Tag Team Title match.

Paul Ellering and the Authors of Pain are ready for whatever is next.

Long look at the NXT Title match. This runs nearly four minutes.

Quick look at Shinsuke Nakamura's NXT debut.

Bobby Roode says he did what he promised to do. The Glorious Era will continue.

We get a listen to the FOURTH official theme song of Takeover. The show was two and a half hours long and had as many official songs as Wrestlemania.

Video on Drew McIntyre returning. McIntyre says he's won everywhere and now he's coming here to do the same. He'll debut next week.

Oney Lorcan vs. ???

Lorcan has a mystery opponent and it's......EL VAGABUNDO, a masked man (with a big beard sticking out) who happens to have a guitar. He says he has a song for us and is instantly the coolest thing the crowd has ever seen. The VAGABUNDO chants start off as Nigel says he's heard a lot of great things about the newcomer. He's even got a question for us: WHO WANTS TO WALK WITH EL VAGABUNDO?

The “SI” chants break out and he just happens to have a song for us. Lorcan grabs the guitar and says he knows Vagabundo is the Drifter. Fans: “NO! NO! NO!” Lorcan wants him to drift away but gets stomped down in the corner before the opening bell. Oney is quickly sent to the floor and we take a break with Vagabundo having to adjust his mask.

Back with Vagabundo sending him into the corner for a running clothesline as Nigel talks about the prestige of a luchador's mask. Lorcan fights back with about seven straight running hip attacks in the corner (earning himself some boos ala WarZone and Attitude for the N64). Vagabundo tries a slam but loses his mask, somehow revealing Elias Samson (Nigel: “I KNEW IT!”). Lorcan gets a running Blockbuster for the pin at 7:18.

Post match Samson says he belongs here but a female security guard cranks on his arm and forces him out.

Results
Peyton Royce b. Aliyah – Fisherman's suplex
Heavy Machinery b. Bollywood Boyz – Double World's Strongest Slam to Harv
Oney Lorcan b. El Vagabundo – Running Blockbuster

Thursday

Impact Wrestling
Date: April 6, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D'Angelo Dinero, Jeremy Borash

We're past Wrestlemania so it's time for the real Orlando wrestlers to take their city back. Last week's show focused on a wide variety of stories, which helped set up a lot of this week's material. Tonight we have a gauntlet match for the #1 contendership to the Knockouts Title plus a last man standing match between Eddie Edwards and Davey Richards. Let's get to it.

Opening sequence.

Eli Drake vs. Caleb Konley

This starts immediately after the opening sequence with no entrances. Drake sends him outside for a cheap shot from Tyrus, followed by some right hands from Eli back inside. A neckbreaker out of the corner gives Eli two but Caleb comes right back with a rolling palm strike. That actually sends Dake outside for a suicide dive, followed by a high crossbody for no cover. Caleb goes up but Tyrus offers a distraction, allowing Drake to hit White Noise for the pin at 4:05.

Josh and JB bicker AGAIN, this time focusing on Josh calling JB ugly. Bruce Prichard comes down and demands that Josh and JB get in the ring. Josh: “I'm sorry I said I wished you were dead!” Bruce says everyone is sick of hearing from these guys so he's got a solution. They're both going to pick a team and we'll see who knows the most. I hope that means the loser is off commentary.

Gauntlet Match

This is basically a Royal Rumble with the final two having a regular match where the winner gets a future title shot. Ava Storie is in at #1 and Madison Rayne is in at #2, complete with the Killer Queen song. That goes nowhere so after the first one minute interval, Rebel is in at #3. Storie runs them both over with a double clothesline and Amanda Rodriguez is in at #4.

The two newcomers slug it out with no one even attempting an elimination. M.J. Jenkins is in at #5 as the announcers just act like we should know who all these new people are. Diamante from LAX is in at #6 and Rodriguez is the first one eliminated. ODB is in at #7 and sends the other five into the corner for a huge splash.

Storie is put out after a pretty solid performance and Brandi Rhodes completes the field at #8. Brandi gets rid of Diamante and Jenkins eliminates Rebel. ODB and Brandi double team Jenkins out but Madison tosses Brandi a second later. That leaves ODB vs. Rayne for the title shot and it's now pin or submission. Not that it lasts long or anything though as ODB hits a quick Bam for the win at 9:21.

Here's James Storm for a chat. During his entrance, Josh says he won a coin toss to determine who gets to make the first pick. So wait: do they get to pick anyone they want or do the people have to agree? Earlier tonight it was implied that the announcers have to pick the teams with JB saying Josh didn't have enough friends to fill a lineup. Anyway, Storm says the Cowboy is back and it's time for him to become World Champion again.

Cue Bram and Kingston to rant about Storm lying to them about the DCC. Storm says he picked the music and bought the suits while Kingston was the one begging for a job. Kingston spits in Storm's face and takes a Last Call. Bram loads up a chair shot but gets stared down. Another Last Call sends the chair into Bram's face and Storm hits the catchphrase.

Andrew Everett thinks he's earned an X-Division Title match. Gregory Helms and Trevor Lee come up to say Everett can have a shot if he wins his triple threat tonight.

Andrew Everett vs. Marshe Rockett vs. Suicide

Everett kicks Rockett to the floor as the announcers KEEP GOING about their upcoming tag match before switching over to fantasy baseball. This is the kind of stuff you expect from One Night Only shows. Suicide knocks Andrew to the floor and follows with the falling dive. Back in and Rockett stomps on Everett before powerslamming him out of the air.

Everett sends both of them to the floor again and follows with a corkscrew dive. Suicide grabs something like a Black Widow on Everett as the announcers argue over whether Al Snow should have Pope's job. A kick sends Suicide to the floor and Everett hits a shooting star for the pin on Rockett at 6:24.

Davey Richards vs. Eddie Edwards

Last Man Standing and Eddie jumps Davey in the aisle. Eddie knocks him into the barricade and follows with two suicide dives as they quickly head into the crowd. Davey gets crotched on a barricade but ducks a dive, sending Eddie crashing into a garbage can for a good looking spot. Richards gets in a few kicks, stops to kiss Angelina Love, and grabs a chair.

Angelina throws in two more chairs with Davey setting the two of them up in the middle. Josh's response: “I have my third member!” Eddie uses another kiss distraction to powerbomb Davey through the chairs for a six count. Not that it matters as Eddie grabs even more chairs (bringing the total up to at least six) and pelts one at Davey's head. Eddie piles the chairs up but Angelina grabs the foot, allowing Davey to superplex Edwards onto the pile. We see Eddie's wife Alisha Edwards in the front row for some trash talk with Angelina.

Back from a break with Davey hitting Eddie in the head with a chain wrapped fist but Alisha's cheers bring Eddie back to his feet. Rapid fire chops have Davey in trouble and a belly to belly into the corner makes things even worse. A baseball slide sends a chair into Davey's face and Eddie wraps a chair around Davey's neck.

The top rope double stomp somehow doesn't kill Davey so the women get into it, resulting in a chair taking Alisha down. Eddie gets chaired as well so Davey wraps a chain around his foot but stops with second thoughts. Angelina tells him to do it for her and Creeping Death with the chain ends Eddie at 22:43.

We get a video on Veterans of War involving Operation Iraqi Freedom. I believe one of them was Gunner, who is a former member of the military.

JB wants to make Impact Wrestling great.

LAX celebrates their title win.

We look at James Storm updating his theme music in a studio.

Alberto El Patron vs. Jon Bolen

A few kicks have Bolen in trouble but he grabs a powerslam. That's about it for his offense though as Alberto sends him into the corner for the top rope double stomp and the pin at 1:18.

Post match Alberto calls out Lashley.

Allie/Braxton Sutter and KM/Sienna are getting into it again when Karen Jarrett comes in to break it up. They'll have a mixed tag next week.

Fury is unleashed next week and has something to do with Sutter and Allie.

Bruce Prichard is out to moderate the picking of the teams, which really is how they're closing the show. Josh goes first and picks Lashley while JB picks Alberto El Patron. Next up we have Bram for Josh and JB picks Chris Adonis (Masters). There's nothing in between these picks save for a little arguing here and there. Josh goes with Eli Drake and Tyrus helps Josh's team beat down the good guys. Matt Morgan comes out for the save and gets in a staredown with Lashley as someone else gets out of a limo. We're out of time though so go to Impact's website to find out who the last team member is (it's Magnus).

Results
Eli Drake b. Caleb Konley – White Noise
ODB won a gauntlet match last eliminating Madison Rayne
Andrew Everett b. Marshe Rockett and Suicide – Shooting star press to Rockett
Davey Richards b. Eddie Edwards – Creeping Death with a chain around the boot
Alberto El Patron b. Jon Bolen – Top rope double stomp

Friday

Nothing.

Saturday

Nothing.

Sunday

Nothing.

Quick Results

Monday Night Raw
Hardys b. Anderson and Gallows – Swanton Bomb to Gallows
Neville b. Mustafa Ali – Rings of Saturn
Revival b. New Day – Shatter Machine to Woods
Bayley/Sasha Banks/Dana Brooke b. Nia Jax/Charlotte/Emma – Bank Statement to Charlotte
Cesaro/Sheamus b. Enzo Amore and Big Cass – Uppercut to Amore
Sami Zayn b. Jinder Mahal – Helluva Kick
Finn Balor/Seth Rollins b. Samoa Joe/Kevin Owens – Coup de Grace to Owens

Smackdown
Naomi b. Alexa Bliss – Reverse Crossface
Tye Dillinger b. Curt Hawkins – Tyebreaker
Baron Corbin b. Dean Ambrose – End of Days
Randy Orton/Luke Harper b. Wyatt Family – RKO to Rowan

NXT
Peyton Royce b. Aliyah – Fisherman's suplex
Heavy Machinery b. Bollywood Boyz – Double World's Strongest Slam to Harv
Oney Lorcan b. El Vagabundo – Running Blockbuster

Impact Wrestling
Eli Drake b. Caleb Konley – White Noise
ODB won a gauntlet match last eliminating Madison Rayne
Andrew Everett b. Marshe Rockett and Suicide – Shooting star press to Rockett
Davey Richards b. Eddie Edwards – Creeping Death with a chain around the boot
Alberto El Patron b. Jon Bolen – Top rope double stomp
__________________


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Yes
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Originally Posted by klunderbunker
I am
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Originally Posted by klunderbunker
in fact
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Originally Posted by klunderbunker
better than you.
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