AS 122 - Mark Keaton versus Lynx
Lynx holds a fantastic win percentage since coming into WZCW and that’ll be put to the test this week. Does he hold insight into the future? One man who believes that to be nonsense is the Remarkable Mark Keaton and these two will meet on Ascension in what promises to be a highlight of the round. Lynx has shown to be a supporter of the good guys and fights for what is right, Keaton is all about the glitz, glam and girls – it’s the battle of two opposites!
RP Deadline Tuesday 24th October 23:59 (Central).
Extensions available upon request.
Deadline is extended by 24 hours.
The east wing of the WZCW Headquarters was quiet for a Saturday, the marketing department booked off early for a party downtown and most of the staff took the distraction of this event to get out early as well. At the far corner of the building, a door marked - Ascension- remained closed, but behind it, an angry female voice could be heard…lets go inside the office and see who it is!
“Well I don’t care HOW unexpected it was,” Becky leaned on her desk with her pink cellphone pressed to her cheek,“from now on we will be posting a guard near the merchandise stand so that kind of thing will never happen again.”
Her eyes widened as she listened to the response, she took a breath and replied as calmly as she could“Listen, when it gets crowded there you can’t watch the whole table O.K? I know it looks bad but you had ten shirts and as many hats stolen in one show Lance! What?! You watch your language young man!” She looked at her phone like it slapped her, she couldn’t believe he hung up on her. She placed the phone down on her desk then sat down in her comfortable lazy boy chair, defeated.
What is going on with the staff in WZCW? There’s been careless merchandise mistakes involving theft, referees demanding more money, staff members attacking wrestlers hoping to cash in Cooper’s bounty on Constantine, the marketing department over-celebrating a record return….well, they deserve that one. Once those WZCW WrestlePals hit Toys R Us it was all over, sold out immediately and it’s not even Christmas yet!
Becky’s office door swung open, startling her. Remarkable Mark Keaton strolled in followed by Big Bad Roady. RMK was decked out in tight jeans and a flowing white dress shirt, showing off his chiseled chest, BigRoad had an old grease stained windbreaker on and jogging pants.
“Hey manager lady! The Main Event just walked in your door, oh yeah!”
“Ever hear of knocking?!” Becky yelled, pointing to the open door with a well manicured nail.
Both RMK and BigRoad held up their hands in surrender, they backed away and left the office, BigRoad slowly closed the door behind them.
Knock knock knock!
“Come in!” Becky sighed hard.
“Hey manager lady! The Main Event just walked in your door, oooohhh yeaaaHHH!!” Mark made a more dramatic entrance this time, shimming his shoulders and swaying his hips.
“What can I help…” But before she could finish, there was a loud crash followed by a thump. Big Bad Roady crashed through a small swivel chair while trying to sit his 457 pound frame in it, the arms immediately fell off and the seat broke. He landed on his back hard, sending pieces of chair bouncing off of the office door. Mark slowly sat in his own chair and watched BigRoad as he scrambled to his feet, breathing heavy and pulling up his jogging pants so his ass crack wasn’t showing.
“You O.K there Meatball?” Mark smirked at the big man, BigRoad just nodded, red faced as he awkwardly leaned on the wall now.
“As I was saying, what can I help…” BOOM!!!! BigRoad’s weight was too much for that weak point in the wall and the huge man fell right through the wall. White dust billowed into the office as BigRoad crashed on to his side through a desk in the next room, sending papers and office equipment flying up in the air.
“...you with? Is he going to be alright?” Becky leaned forward on her desk to get a view of BigRoad’s ass crack as he scrambled to crawl backwards out of the desk rubble in the next room. She wish she never looked.
“Ya, he does this all the time. Anyway, you know that the Main Event of Ascension is gonna be RMK vs Lynx - The African American Panther- right? So I was thinking…”
Becky held up her hand, she had an expression on her face that read- I can’t believe the day I’m having right now- “Listen Mark, I’m glad you’re on Ascension this week, but you won’t be in the Main Event. That spot is for Tyrone Blades vs Eve Taylor, it’s written in stone so don’t bother trying to talk me out of it!”
“Tyrone Blades?! What the crap boss lady?! That guy sucks! The crowd will be dead silent throughout the whole match! Come on dudette! Dammit!” Mark lit a smoke, Becky opened her mouth to tell him to put it out but was distracted by the 457 pound, white dust covered giant walking back through the wall, trying to look like nothing happened.
“Listen, Xander Labelle was texting me earlier, tryin to convince me to handle these little office matters on my own, without him or Cooper guiding me through the whole process. But I hate these stupid meetings. I’d rather be out drinking or having sex or working out or all three at the same time.” Mark took a long drag of the cigarette and blew double streams out of his nostrils.
“Well,” Becky opened her palm towards the closed office door, “don’t let me stop you.”
“Gnarly reply lady, but listen, hear me out. Last week was the worst one sided ratings disaster in the history of this company. Meltdown just dropkicked you guys right through a window and on to a bed of rusty spikes…”
“Spikes that are spinnin boss,” Big Bad Roady interrupted excitedly, “and full of electricity so it’s like ZAP! ZAP! SIZZLE!”
“That’s right Bigroad. Ascension was destroyed in the ratings. Do you know why? It’s because RMK wasn’t showcased. You have to get RMK on Ascension to get the ladies watching, to get all of Canada watching! You have to get a sexy beast like me nailing bastards with The Voltron Suplex! Bang!” Mark did the motions and dropped his cigarette on the carpet, he quickly scooped it up before it burned any more holes and caused Becky to lose her mind, “you have RMK vs Lynx, this is a Kingdom Come caliber match that you’re giving away for FREE!”
“You got one thing correct. We did poorly last week in the ratings and I hope to rectify that this week. So I hope you can bring the pain for your match Mark, make me want to have your talents on Ascension.” Becky smiled and quickly looked at her cellphone, please be happy and leave now.
“I have a new proposal. What if there was this big, rocking star straight outta the eighties that had chart topping hits and wanted to be part of the show this week?”
Becky didn’t answer, but knew exactly where this was going, Mark’s famous rocking father probably wanted to be part of the show or something….but I thought he was on tour?
“You’re probably thinking, Who could Mark be talking about? Well, without further ado, I present to you….Dallas Keaton and The Three Smokes Band!” Mark stood and clapped as did BigRoad, the ladder causing white dust to fly again as he clapped. BigRoad put his index finger and pinky in his mouth to try and whistle loudly,but he just ended up making a puke face as he realized his fingers were covered in dirt.
Dallas Keaton opened the door and leaned in, he smiled with his piano keys teeth and adjusted his round rimmed, red sunglasses. He gave his son a pat on the shoulder and shook his hand, his fur jacket shaking from the welcome. The Three Smokes Band walked in, all dressed in various leather trench coats and leather pants, all looking moody and mystical, with large eighties hair.
Becky blinked hard, for crying out loud, I can’t help but be star struck around this man. My family were huge fans back in the day, he looks almost as young as he did back then.
Dallas Keaton reached over the desk, Becky offered her hand to shake his but he gently took her hand, turned it around and kissed the back of it. She tried not to blush like a school girl.
“I’m afraid we’ve never met. A shame.” Dallas said softly as he smiled.
“Welcome Mr. Keaton. I’m sorry, there’s not enough seating for all of you.” Becky looked a little flustered as she looked at the large hole in the wall, the destroyed swivel chair and the one remaining chair that Dallas rolled to himself.
“That’s fine. My son is a strong lad, he can remain standing. Ugh, this chair isn’t very comfortable.”
“Thanks dad. Well there it is boss lady. Dallas Keaton and The Three Smokes Band LIVE at Ascension, playing my entrance music.”
“What’s that boy? Your bloody entrance music? I thought we agreed that I’ll be playing Pink Fleshy Rose Runners.”
“Dad, that song sucks alright! It’s too sappy, there’s not even one electric guitar in it!”
The Three Smokes Band agreed as they muttered to themselves.
“Hold on. Hold on you two. The person you should be consulting here is sitting on THIS side of the desk. We haven’t even begun to talk about numbers yet.” Becky settled back down in her chair, her annoyance returning and eating any shred of star struck fever that remained.
“I don’t do anything under one million dollars. I think for a show like Ascension and the fact that we agreed to stop by here during our very important World Tour, one point five wouldn’t be asking for much.” Dallas looked at his band and nodded approval.
“See this face…” Becky pointed to her own face that had a look that a deer would have right before getting hit with a transfer truck. “…this is what - Are you CRAZY?!- looks like! I was about to offer three hundred thousand! One point five million?! You might as well march right back out of my office if you think I’m going anywhere NEAR that number!”
“I think we can meet in the middle, nine hundred and fifty thousand it is.” Dallas reached out his hand to shake.
“Keep going lower.” Becky tried hard to hold in her laugh from that offer.
The office door swung open again as a new person entered, it was the WZCW Heavyweight Champion, Justin Cooper.
“There you are,” Cooper walked in dressed in a black hoodie with a red V.I emblem stitched into his right chest area and dark brown dress pants, there was an unnatural stiffness to Cooper's movements that made Mark think that his friend had the belt around his waste...which he did..“did you forget we have that video game scanning session for THQ?”
“Shit!” Mark Keaton forgot, “why can’t they just take footage from our matches? I already got scanned for that basketball All-Stars game.”
“Basketball? The fuck do you know about basketball?” Cooper shook Dallas Keaton’s hand absentmindedly as he patted band members, he ignored Big Bad Roady completely as he didn’t want to get any dust on his expensive attire.
“Nothing, they just wanted a special attraction character. I don’t have a clue how good my guy was in the game, I didn’t play it.” Mark gave Cooper a hard handshake.
“Not smart,” Cooper pressed the back of Keaton’s shoulder and led him out of the office, “always check the merchandise Mark. You could be a naked, screaming idiot who can’t run in that game, you never know. Always check your merchandise.”
They walked down the hall in silence as they heard Dallas Keaton reopening negotiations at the far office behind them.
“What is the deal with that big chap that’s hanging around you now?” Cooper looked over his shoulder, then continued walking.
“Bah, he’s a cool dude. He’s looking to get in the business, I’m using him as a sort of a roadie slash bodyguard slash troublemaker at ringside. I’ve been trying to get these GM’s away from him so they don’t take him away from me and fight in the ring. I don’t need that kind of dinosaur across the ring from me, if you catch what I’m throwin dude.”
“Ya, I think you’re wasting your time. He’s going to wrestle eventually, look at the size of him. One of these days he’s going to fight, I’m just telling you as a friend, expect it.”
“Ya, I know.”
“So what do you think of Lynx? You think of any strategies you can use against him?”
The door at the far end of the office opened and the chatter from inside the room came down the hallway like a wave, drowning out Keaton’s answer. Dallas Keaton strolled down the hall, happy as a pig in shit with the band walking behind him. They walked by Mark and Cooper, patting and giving the young rocker a high five as they passed.
“I take it the meeting went well.” Cooper commented as he watched them walk around a corner.
“Effing A, man.” Mark smiled wide, knowing his dad will be singing his entrance at Ascension.
“Hey boss…” Big Bad Roady walked down the hallway towards them….
The floor gave way under the huge man, pulling the surrounding carpet down in the hole, a loud crash noise could be heard from the floor under the hole.
Keaton opened his eyes, then he and Cooper rushed to the hole. They watched the big man laying on a half destroyed Pepsi machine, surrounded by debris. BigRoad slowly gave them a thumbs up. He grabbed a nearby Pepsi, opened it and chugged it down.
“Well,” Keaton returned the thumbs up with devil horns, “there’s one strategy right there Coopster, a four hundred pound denim wearing distraction.”
What is WZCW?
October 17th, 2017
A few days had passed since Lynx's tag team match with Vox against Randy Studd and Yemrez Reqonic on Ascension 121. With a little help from Vox, Lynx was able to obtain the more accurate directions to the private investigator friend of Super Dave. According to Vox, this guy would be able to help Lynx track down his cousin Willy, who Lynx has been searching for ever since Gold Rush. Lynx and Doreen had stayed an extra day in a small local town near where Ascension 121 took place. Doreen was still at the hotel as Lynx had opted to meet the private investigator by himself. Lynx followed Vox's directions to the meeting place, hoping that he was given the correct address this time. He walked into an open area in a park, higher up than the rest of the park and saw a mysterious man in a trenchcoat standing by a fence at a cliff, looking out into the view. Lynx approached him.
Lynx: Excuse me....
The man in the trenchcoat does not move. His face cannot be seen because he is facing away from Lynx. Hoping this man is the private investigator, Lynx tries getting his attention again. All Lynx knew was the place to meet the guy at and his name was "Inspector 34". The number is purely coincidental. He's not the same guy from that Adventure's Of Pete & Pete episode, though he does look an awful lot like him.
Lynx: Are you.... Inspector 34?
The private investigator turns around and takes off his sunglasses.
Inspector 34: Are you Lynx?
Everything is silent for a few seconds, other than a bird that can be heard chirping in the trees behind them.
Inspector 34: I heard about your conundrum. My sources were able to locate the man you seek.
Lynx: You found my cousin? Where is he?
The private eye hands Lynx an envelope. Inspector 34 starts to smoke.
Inspector 34: A reliable source informed me during my search that Willy is going to be present at a specific event, at a specified time, the details of which is laid out in the document enclosed in that envelope.
Lynx openes up the envelop and looks at the document while Inspector 34 smokes. It appears to be a flyer.
Lynx folds the flyer and looks at the inspector again, who has stopped smoking.
Lynx: A birthday party? Is this a friend of Willy's or something? I won't know anyone there. How can I blend in?
Inspector 34: Luckily for you it is also a Halloween party. Dress up. You could be anyone. Willy is going to be there. My job is now done. Do not worry about payment for now.
He walks off as Lynx ponders this turn of events.
October 27th, 2017
Ten days passed and it was the night of the party that Willy would be at. Lynx played along with the Halloween theme and showed up dressed as Boba Fett from Star Wars. He figured anything with a helmet or mask of some sorts would work well to help him hide his identity for the night. Just about everyone else at the party was dressed up so the Halloween theme worked in Lynx's favor. When he got there the door was answered by a man dressed up like Zoidberg from Futurama. Lynx mingled for a good while but he had no clue where Willy was. Could he have been late? Ever the punctual one, the thought of his cousin being late annoyed Lynx greatly. The guy dressed up like Zoidberg approached Lynx later on in the evening. Lynx had leaned up against a wall. The song "I Ran" by A Flock Of Seagulls is playing as part of an 80's playlist in the background.
Zoidberg Guy: Hey. So what was your name again?
Lynx: I'm Boba Fett. Come on, Zoidberg.
Zoidberg Guy: No, I mean who you really are. I don't think we have met before and I know all of Cassidy's friends.
Not wanting to blow his cover Lynx realized he better make something up. Unlike his Ascension opponent Mark Keaton, Lynx is not one for parties. He's just here to find Willy.
Zoidberg Guy: Are you a friend of Chelsea's? The girl who lives here?
Lynx: Yeah, that's it.... Chelsea.... She was the one who invited me.
Zoidberg Guy: Cool! Where do you know her from?
Knowing he now has no choice but to come up with something, Lynx gives it his best shot.
Lynx: Her.... mother's.... second husband's.... next-door neighbor's.... son.... was my.... former college roommate! That's.... How I met Chelsea.
Zoidberg Guy: Oh!!!! You must be Steve then! Chelsea talks about you all the time.
Lynx: Yep.... That's me.... Steve.... Hey do you know if a guy named Willy is here?
The guy dressed up like Zoidberg looks confused for a moment before answering.
Zoidberg Guy: Sorry, Steve, but I don't know anyone named Willy. He must be another of Chelsea's friends. I'll tell her you're here. She's in the back talking to Cassidy.
The Zoidberg guy leaves. Lynx feels relieved to have made it through that. He looks around the room to try to spot Willy. There's a guy dressed up like The Joker who looks at Lynx with an odd glare. Next to the Joker guy is a girl dressed up like Belle from Beauty And The Beast, who is talking to a guy dressed up like Steamboat Ricky and beside them is a guy who looks just like Dustin Hunter. Lynx can't tell if that is an outfit or not. The Joker guy is still staring at Lynx. A girl dressed up like Harley Quinn peeks into the room.
Harley Quinn Girl: Time for cake! Everyone come on into the kitchen!
All the guests leave the room to follow her except for Lynx, the guy who looks like Dustin Hunter, and the guy dressed up as The Joker, who is still staring at Lynx. The song playing in the background changes to "Heat Of The Moment" by Asia.
Joker Guy: Oh gosh not that song! Asia is a terrible band.
Lynx: What? I happen to like Asia.
Joker Guy: They suck. They're almost as bad as Europe!
He approaches The Joker guy, trying to maintain his calmness. Who doesn't like Asia, let alone Europe!? They made Lynx's entrance theme, after all.
Lynx: You don't like Europe? What's wrong with you? Don't you like "Final Countdown"?
Joker Guy: Are you kidding me? I hate that song. I always did. Then that wrestler Lynx started using it as his entrance theme which made me hate it even more.
Lynx takes a couple of deep breaths, clenching his fists. He responds as calmly as he can, hoping that this guy dressed up like The Joker doesn't realize who he is actually talking to.
Lynx: Not a Lynx fan, I take it? I see. Question. You wouldn't happen to know anyone named Willy, would you?
The Joker Guy looks at Lynx suspiciously.
Joker Guy: Why are you asking everyone that? Who are you anyway? I know you're not Steve. You lied earlier.
Awkward silence, other than the 80's music playlist in the background. The song changes to "Destination Unknown" from the Top Gun soundtrack.
Lynx: Of course I am. It's me, Steve.
Joker Guy: The real Steve couldn't make it to this party tonight. He is out of town for our other friends Stan and Lauren's wedding. You're not Steve and you're probably not Chelsea's friend either. You're a great big PHONY!
Lynx: Why so serious, Joker?
The guy who looks like Dustin Hunter stands up and goes over to stand by Lynx.
????: It's cool, man. He's with me. I invited him here. Now go eat cake. I'm sure the others are looking for you.
Joker Guy: Fine. I'm on to you though, whoever you are!
The guy dressed up like The Joker leaves for the kitchen. And with that Lynx was alone in the room with the man who he now sees had to be his myserious cousin.
Lynx: You're not Dustin Hunter, are you?
With a quick shaking of his head, the man responds.
The two cousins stare at each other having reunited. Lynx takes the Boba Fett helmet off and looks Willy in the eyes. The 80's music playlist continues playing and the song changes to "Burning Heart" by Survivor.
Lynx: Whoever made that playlist sure had good taste in music. The guy dressed up as The Joker had no idea what he's talking about, speaking badly about great bands like Europe and Asia.... Oh, sorry. I just met my cousin for the first time and here I am talking about music.
Willy: First time? This isn't the first time we met.
Lynx: Pretty sure I'd recall having met a cousin before, or a family member of any kind. Up until WZCW outsourced my benefits account to an Estonian third party benefits provider, I had no recollection of any living relatives. My family hasn't even been born yet, Willy! How are you here? Did our family send you back too? Are you here to help me with the next phase of preventing the Apocalypse?
Neither speak for a moment. Nothing but the epic tune of "Burning Heart" is heard until Willy breaks the silence.
Willy: You really don't remember do you?
Lynx: No.... I don't. I have no memories of you at all.
Willy goes over to Lynx and puts his arm around Lynx's shoulder
Willy: I'm gonna ask you to do two favors. Numero uno. Meet me at the basketball court before Unscripted. Surely you remember where that was? That ought to jog your memory some. Numero two.
Lynx: Don't you mean "dos"?
Willy: No. Numero two. Go out there on Ascension 122 and give Mark Keaton a SLAM!
Lynx: A what?
Willy: I said a SLAM!
Willy goes over to the dining room table to the right of where they were standing. He slams his fist into the table as hard as he can, breaking it in two.
Willy: That's a SLAM!
Lynx: Wait a sec.... I think I do remember you now. You used to break stuff like that all the time.... Didn't you go by Lunatic Willy back then?
Willy: Looks like someone remembered. Here. You try.
Lynx goes over to a bookshelf to his left and does his Kick To The Future maneuver on it. The shelf breaks and falls to the ground. Willy stands by Lynx again and puts his arm around Lynx's shoulder once more.
Lynx: I feel like I have seen this somewhere before. So, why did you voluntarily become my benefactor?
Willy: We got lots of catching up to do. First give Keaton the SLAM though.
The Joker Guy returns to the room.
Joker Guy: There you guys are. The others were wondering you still wanted a slice of.... What did you do!?
Lynx: A slice of "what did you do"? That doesn't sound very appetizing.
Joker Guy: Oh man. Chelsea is going to be so mad at you for breaking her furniture. So is Cassidy. This party meant a lot to her. Hold on.... You're Lynx!
The Joker Guy begins to laugh.
Lynx: What's so funny?
Joker Guy: Now you've gone and broken her furniture and also lied about being one of her closest friends. I can't wait to see her reaction when Chelsea finds out.
He continues laughing. Two girls' voices can be heard approaching the room. The girl dressed up like Harley Quinn and the the girl dressed up like Belle come back into the room, mid-conversation.
Belle Girl: So then what happened?
Harley Quinn Girl: So we were still playing Quelf at that point. I drew a card that made me point to my right while talking like a pirate and then-
She is interrupted by a started reaction from the Belle girl who sees the broken furniture.
Belle Girl: OH MY GOSH WHAT HAPPENED!?
The Joker guy laughs even harder.
Harley Quinn Girl: My furniture! Who did this!?
Lynx and Willy look at each other, then back at the two girls. The Joker guy is snickering to himself, having calmed down some from his laughter outburst.
Lynx: It was that guy, the one who looks like The Joker.
His laughter immediately stops.
Joker Guy: What? Me? No!
Willy: Oh, yeah. It was totally him. I saw the whole thing.
Joker Guy: Chelsea. Come on. You know I would never do anything to you or your furniture.
The Harley Quinn girl, who we now know is Chelsea who lives there, glares at the Joker Guy but then looks over at Lynx, surprised to see him there.
Chelsea: Wait a minute. What's the wrestler Lynx doing here? And where did Steve go?
By sheer coincidence and good timing, Lynx's entrance theme "The Final Countdown" by Europe starts playing on the 80's playlist.
Lynx: Yeah it was me all along, actually. I was here to meet my cousin, Willy. Sorry for crashing your party.... Looks like this party is over. On Ascension 122 it will be Mark Keaton's party that I'll be crashing. His time for fun is over. How truly REMARKABLE that will be. Come on, Willy.
Willy: That's a SLAM!
Lynx and Willy go walk out the front door and exit the house as the confused party guests look on.
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