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Old 03-04-2018, 11:21 PM
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Told Lee I would get this up a couple days ago. Not as detailed as my Unscripted review, but I hope it helps.

Meltdown 148

Opening the show with the Mayhem Title is a nice call. Guys in the WHC scene or long term members often get this spot, so giving the lower card guys a shout is nice. The segment was much too short for an opening though. Becky speaks, we get all Mayhem guys in the ring to speak a single sentence, and then its over. We don't need twenty minute McMahon segments, but you need more substance than what was here.

The triple threat had highs and lows for me. The commentary during the entrances was solid, it gave you a little insight into the character and their recent history. Cohen did call him Seabass a lot though. One issue I had was that in the entrances, the song playing was mentioned. Since we post the YT video of the theme, listing the name of the song is redundant. Also, I like when there is something to signal the start of the match. The standard *ding ding* is all you need. The content of the match was okay for an opening match. The move to move to move with no real story isn't really a good read, but in a triple threat curtain jerking match, it is passable. I'd suggest more action in each paragraph, each was 3-5 lines. Also, each pin attempt doesn't need to be written like -

As soon as she hits the move she quickly goes for the pin


Vee kicks out as soon as the ref counts two. Unless it is a dramatic moment, it flows much better if you write *move sequence* 1....2...kick out *move sequence*

The Lynx/Tastic segment was fine, but why is Josh Browning getting so many mentions? He is a character NPC, not an official NPC. There is no need for character NPCs with so much mystery around them getting on shows.

The next match, the Vox entrance was okay, and the Callie bit with the ripped sign was fine, but what even was that commentary? It was borderline racist on Cohen's part. Also Copeland is super professional, he shoudln't be laughing at jokes by Cohen. At least he admonished Cohen over the African child quip. Time to donate a loss to Vox and Callie! That might be the worst line I have ever heard.

Action wise, thanks for the bell ringing to start. I also liked the little bit before the bell, with the teams having a quick chat. The story with Tastic and Lynx being at odds was good, it added to the match. Don't write like this though -

Lynx jumps in the air, he twists and flips into a phoenix splash right on Callie!



Callie kicks out!
Unless there has been a sweeping change since I left, the matches were written *moves, pin* 1....2....kick out *moves*

That aside, I liked this match. The animosity between the four told a fine enough story.

I liked the gist of the Triple X interview. It did a good job of painting Triple X as a dick, but, Ace should have been given more credit. He was a fine Mayhem Champ in his original run.

Who the hell fed him that line?. One of the better Ace intros ever. The Triple X intro did that redundant thing I mentioned earlier. Content wise, the match was good, the finish was good. I just can't get over the way the pinfalls have been written each match so far. On a similar note, countouts. I prefer this-


*Line of guy crawling*



To me that flows better than what was done here.

The Studd/Vox segment was fine, but I feel like at some point Vox is going to need to be given something big or stop being given segments. None of the segments he is in mean anything in the long run. They are fine segments that usually work with their character, but I'd rather segments mean something as opposed to throwing guys on TV just to give them TV time.

The Mayhem match was weird. War Zone fucked off, but the finish came so suddenly. Something about Mancini stealing the win off of Studd's finish works, but I hope the LL match ramps it up.

I will have Ascension soon.
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Old 03-05-2018, 03:29 PM
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Yaz Worldwide Presents: Ascension 125 Review
Paid for by the Titus Avison Corporation with special consideration from the Re-elect John Constantine Campaign

Right off the bat, the opening to AS was much better than MD. It was longer without being obscene and it had good content. One small issue
Cohen: Absolutely, Cat. You have hit the nail on the head right there. What a card we have on offer here tonight in Asia. The Lethal Lottery is only days away and, on a night where anything can happen, you can bet that extends to tonight!
That bold part is a bit confusing to me. Is Cohen saying anything can happen on LL night and that sentiment extends to this episode, or is he being redundant? Could have been worded better, but a small blip on a good opening.

Moving onto Keaton/Consty. Keaton jumping before the bell and King Kong Roadie running interference were solid points. The match itself was fine as, end of the show aside, it gave the WHC a solid win over a decent midcard name in fairly short order.

The Vega segment was fine. It did its job in showing Vega was back. If I had a dime for every guy who came back and talked about winning the big one, I'd have a shit load of dimes.

The old theater reel bit.....well I was confused until I thought about it long enough, best part of being on creative for so long. If this is what I think it is, holy shit! I'm so excited you could cut glass with my nipples.

I have mixed feelings on the Tyrone/Kagura segment. It is always a bit difficult to get non verbal or non English speaking characters into segments, especially one of this length with a respected talker like Tyrone. This one worked well enough because Tyrone can speak Japanese, but that won't always be the case for those interacting with Kagura.

Tag match, again this issue.

The lights dim again. The soft sounds of "Intro" by The Xx begin to play
There is no need for that when the theme music is two inches above. Also, this bit of commentary isn't good.

Connor: Vega is back in WZCW Jack and his second task is in a tag team contest against two of the hottest wrestlers we have in the company right now!

Cohen: I wouldn't be too worried about that Cat! Vega has a dangerously fast tag team partner that the crowd is really behind for some reason, she's from an unknown place so I don't get it! How do they know her?!

Connor: Well, my sources say she has a history fighting over here and....

Cohen: Wait just a minute! When did YOU get sources?! I know what your sources are, it's the same source as everyone else on the planet, it's called Google Search Engine! Admit it!
Cohen heels it up in the second line, fine, but the first bit he shows a rooting interest in two faces. That shouldn't happen often, if ever. The entrance description on team two were better.

A thunderous applause as her music plays, pink lights begin to swirl around the stage in a circular pattern
That bit was much better. It cut out the unneeded listing of the song name. The positive though was quickly erased by this.

Connor: Wow! Have you EVER seen such a positive reaction from any WZCW fans like this Jack?! The welcome of our QFAD is absolutely mind numbing!
Yes, Cat favors the women, and yes, Kagura was going to cash in later, but she isn't John Cena returning at the 2008 Rumble. This is no disrespect to Ech, but Kagura is a career midcard act who had yet to win the big one, she would not be anywhere near this reaction level.

Much like the MD tag, I enjoyed that Jeff included a little bit before the bell of both teams having a chat about strategy. Actual in ring action was fine, but again, I take issue with commentary.

Connor: That wasn’t just your normal ending Jack! That is what you would call some real overkill on Tyrone and Kagura’s part, wow!

Cohen: You’re not kidding Cat! What were they thinking? A Click Clack is bad enough but they combined that with Kagura’s Fifth Dance too, they’re looking to kill people out there! I hope Wren is feeling good enough to continue her career here, maybe she should sue these two dangerous workers.
Both guys hit their finish, that isn't unheard of or even uncommon in a tag match. Then to suggest Wren may want to retire because of it, it is the worst kind of hyperbole.

Truth be told, I wasn't feeling the Eve segment. Eve showing fire is fine, but the choker label has been bucked I feel. After her brutal verbal RKO on Logan in her Unscripted RP, I think she buried that trend. She dispelled the notion, but frankly it should not have been brought up in the first place, especially by Leon, who should be the most professional of backstage staff.

Titass vs Neckbeard. Big props out the gate for this in Beard's entrance.

The lights fly on and Beard throws his hands in the air encouraging the crowd to chant "Beard! Beard! Beard!". He hurries down the aisle slapping hands with his fans.
I don't mind crowd chants if they are used sparingly, but this did a good job of not adding extra length by making the chant separate from the rest of the description. The Titus entrance was well done too, as Cohen getting super hype over Titus is always good. Connor's line was a bit meh, she should have just said 'Not my Champion" instead of mentioning Constantine. I think it fits the joke better.

As for match content, the chants were written without being disruptive. Commentary could have been better, it was very generic, but it wasn't bad and it wasn't taking the characters down a path they shouldn't go. Much like with the Constantine match, Titus scoring a victory without much trouble is fine. Beard is a part timer so losses won't kill him, and Titus dispatching a former WHC in relatively short order gives him a boost. I also like that Titus didn't try to out muscle Beard and wrestled smart, My only issue was Beard got a rope break after a long ankle lock, hobbles to his feet, and his first move is a spinning back kick. Yes, Titus avoided it, but doing a fancy kick literally seconds after being put in a leg based submission doesn't make sense.

The post match with TMZ was fun.

I've covered the Flex segment elsewhere.

Given the end of the show, Constantine had purpose being at the desk, so no complaints there. I would have preferred a color that wasn't blue since I see blue commentary and think Copeland, but it isn't the end of the world.

Connor: I can't stress how important this match is. This is the first time in over 5 years that a woman will be guaranteed a world title shot. Isn't that exciting?

Cohen: I don't see gender Cat. What I see is two people who are fighting for the top spot. It's the way of WZCW.
I love this for two reasons. 1) Y'all know how I feel over the whole "first female to do x" praise. I don't feel it should matter if the character is male or female as both have been on equal footing for a long time here. There have just been less females. 2) Cat marks over girl power, and Cohen shut her down. It fits the profile of both. Good on ya.

My personal preference is the *DING! DING!* to signal a match start, but writing the ref calling for the bell works. Just make sure something is there to signify the start.

I like the false finish, as it showed Eve was at one point capable of putting Batti down, but it wasn't some BS with outside interference that saved Batti. She still had the presence of mind to get the foot up so she doesn't look like a complete loser.

In ring wise, the size difference was played up well. Eve towered over Batti and used that to her advantage. I also enjoyed the nod to Eve's ankle issues. This match wasn't some flip fest bingo hall show, nor was it an epic KC main event. It did a fine job of giving two upcoming WHC contenders a couple of moments and played well to each respective character.

Batti rolls out of the ring once again but Taylor follows her. The begin to trade kicks and punches on the outside as Katie Shepard begins to count. 1. Taylor is hit in the ankle again by Batti. 2. Batti goes for a second hit but Taylor throws her by the hair into the barrier. 3. Taylor delivers some stomps on Batti. 4. Boo's reign down on Taylor as she poses. 5. Taylor picks up Batti and whips her into the steel steps. 6. Taylor waits for Batti to stand. Designer Clothesline! The Pendulum Lariat knocks Batti flying. 8. Taylor picks Batti and goes for another delayed Saito Suplex. Batti is in the air! 9. Eve Taylor's ankle gives way and both ladies crash to the ground! 10! The bell rings!
That bit was certainly a different way of doing a count out. I wasn't sure how I felt at first about it, but it did flow well. Reading the entire match and considering the previous Eve segment, I think it worked. You did forget to put in 7 though. Overall I think the countout worked here. At times when we need a draw we try to come up with something cool and unique. Hole in the ring, crash through the barricade, wild brawl through the crowd. This did its job, with a fired up Eve getting too carried away with hurting Batti, losing track of time, and having her previously worked over ankle go out. The psychology leading up to that were 10/10 would bang again.

Myles: This can't be the way that Ascension ends, damn it! Curve-balls and lack of resolution might be what Becky Serra is trying to achieve on Meltdown but it will not happen here! Mark my words!
I also liked this bit of Myles speech. The two GMs are technically try to outdo each other with their show, so having Chuck take a shot at Becky works here.

The best part of the cash in, was the copyright info fake out. That has been a big hit for NXT and Gargano getting blitzed by Ciampa lately, so no issue borrowing something from real life and putting our stamp on it.

This go round, Ascension beat Meltdown, thanks to better writing throughout.

I hope that these last two bits can help answer any questions y'all had and help you moving forward.
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Last edited by Rainbow Yaz : 03-05-2018 at 03:42 PM.
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Old 03-07-2018, 05:21 AM
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As a general note for both shows, I love that we've got the graphics and five pyro introduction to kick-off the shows. Feels good, man. However, there double graphic feels a bit weird. I think just having the Ascension/Meltdown graphic is enough. Also, what happened to the theme songs to open the show? I miss that.

Anyway, onto the reviews:

Meltdown 148

Not much else I can provide about the opening that Yaz hasn't already mentioned. It was great to get the Mayhem guys as the opener but it was way too short for an opening. If the intention was to have a short exchange for the Mayhem competitors then why not mix it up by starting off with a match and have a small segment in the middle of the show? Or even just a generic opening explaining the show before heading into the next post/match.

The opening triple threat was good for an opening. A match was had. Wrestlers got their stuff in. Winner was decided. Vee got given a small nod at his return. Cool. It definitely did its job. Unfortunately, unless I'm one of the three competitors in this match, I don't see the point of this match. It felt like an exhibition match. I guess it is very difficult to do something because the Lethal Lottery is the next match for these wrestlers but just a little something to give this match substance would've made it perfect. Makes the reader invested in the match, the losers get something to work with and nothing is taken away from the winner. Also, in this situation, doing something like having Logan win dirty gives a reason for Vee/Yemrez to go after him in the Lottery. Mini-stories are fun! Let's start seeing some.

The segment between Tastic/Lynx is an example of a mini-story I'd like to see. Some interaction between wrestlers who are lynxed (get it, linked, haha) by something but aren't currently feuding. And a nod to what someone said in their RP always makes that RPer excited. Gives off the impression you actually read their RP.

Reading the segment and then reading the start of the match, I didn't think they were aligned as well as they could. The Lynx/Tastic segment was tame but the match ramped it up by Tastic growling at Lynx. I thought it could've started a little more friendlier (the match) or the segment could've been a bit more fiery. The ending also was a bit weird, giving Lynx a nice word after all that animosity. A bit too friendly. Apart from that, nothing else to critique about the match. Solid enough. There is some fluff between moves that gives the reader a sense of how the characters feel. I always like that. Move-to-move-to-move is generally bad.

Triple X shows a little character and directing anger at specific characters he isn't feuding with but is affecting X's personal story. I like that. Creates a universe that feels alive.

The commentary was pretty generic throughout the match. The commentary feels added just to break up the paragraphs of black text... although there is a line about Triple X and Ace Stevens fighting back almost 50 episodes ago. Fair enough. I'd probably throw that in the pre-match commentary somewhere to give the reader something to care about before the match begins. Throwing it in the middle feels like a late attempt to get people to invest. Invest them at the start with these facts. Again, another solid match but it was just a match Ace Stevens won. Sure, Triple X got a segment so he can build from that a bit but I'd rather see some mini-story happen in the match. Give X & Ace a reason to win the match other than them just being scheduled to face each other.

The Studd/Vox segment was great.

Champions coming out first in a title match annoys me. I'm one of those sticklers for tradition, I'm afraid. As for the segment that wrote off War Zone, that could've been handled better. Formatting-wise, I personally would segregate that from the actual match with ------------------ lines to make it look like a segment, or maybe even quote tags. Also, why was that the majority of the match? Just a short mention could've happened and then host a match between Mancini/Studd. Do a regular Mayhem match with a few spots, have it so Studd goes to win but War Zone makes his appearance! Studd handles him by wrecking his face but Mancini comes in for the steal. Easy. Mancini gets the title, Studd has a legit complaint, War Zone is out and you can re-visit those spots for the Lottery match and call back to them. Like, Studd hits Mancini with a specific chair shot sequence and nails him perfectly. For the LL match, Studd goes for it again but Mancini sees it coming and reverses it. Bam, story-telling. Easy.

I know you guys didn't want to blow your load on this match in favour of writing a good Mayhem title match for the LL. However, nothing is stopping you guys from going simple, writing spots to set-up the match for the LL and ramping it up for the finale with a gruesome match. Saving the match feels like we'll be seeing the match for the first time rather than these two competitors having a legit gripe with the other and wanting to hurt the other.


Ascension 125

Actually, I do prefer the picture of the "WZCW: A decade of excellence" on top of the show gif rather than two gifs on top of one another. The two moving pictures are distracting. One still and one moving is nice.

I felt as if Constantine spoke too much about Justin Cooper and not enough about the future ahead of him. I get that Cooper/Prophet has done a lot for WZCW but the time dedicating to thanking him was too much. The show must go on. Consty should've quickly addressed it, moved on and looked toward the next match. Not even one mention of Taylor or Batti... or heck, even Kagura, was a bit of a mistake. I understand Kagura but Taylor/Batti are literally scheduled for a match which Consty explained.

The Keaton/Constantine match was good but I don't get why Constantine came back out. Why not have him stay in the ring and only have Keaton make his entrance? Better yet, why not have Keaton come out to interrupt Consty and begin the match? The pacing feels off when you do that. The match would've felt a bit more personal, too, if Keaton would've interrupted/attacked Consty. Plus, given their history, it would make sense for something like that to happen.

I liked how you used the Vega segment to promote him and correct a situation. Not sure what to make of the video clip, though.

The Ty/Kagura segment had some Lucha Underground feel with two characters speaking to each other in different languages. I love that. Removing language as a barrier is cool and allows both characters to retain their images.

For the tag team match, I don't feel like I have much really to say that hasn't already been said by Yaz or just general comments throughout my review so far. Only thing I can say is that I'm a little sad Wren didn't get something before the match, considering Vega/Kagura/Tyrone all had speaking pieces. It would've allowed everyone to have a voice, y'know?

Unlike Yaz, I was cool with the segment. Having Leon interview Eve is a bit weird considering the Stacey/Eve friendship but it helped in writing my RP for the Lethal Lottery, so for me personally, the segment did well. No complaints from me here.

The Beard did not get a formal introduction from Selena Anderson (probably because she was drunk). The match was fine. Commentary, as Yaz said, could've used some zest to make the match a little spicy. Also, what about something to motivate Beard in this encounter? With Beard being a part-timer, it could've been cool to have a segment or speaking part saying he came back to Japan (cheap pop) only to challenge the reign of Titus and give him a run for his money. Since he is a part-timer, it wouldn't hurt Beard to lose if he built himself up as he can come back and be refreshed. Plus, running down Titus wouldn't hurt him either because A) he won and B) he's a legend who has held the title for so long.

The Flex segment was great... but it was on the wrong show. This should've been on Meltdown. The only reason I say this is because of what happened later in the night overshadowing this announcement. Considering the way Meltdown ended with the Mayhem match, this Flex return could've closed the show and got people talking. If the end of Ascension did not happen the way it did, I'd still put this on Meltdown because figuring out the new number one contender would've been a big reveal to rival the segment.

And for the final match, once again Yaz has covered many points that I would've said. Outside of that, everything was great here. I'd honestly be nitpicking. Maybe this match could've been a lot longer with Batti & Eve going a little further and not giving up at all. Possibly not ending with a count-out that has both Batti and Eve just roll into the ring like nothing happened. I felt there could've been more tension between Batti/Eve throughout the match and the post-match stuff. Build it up a little more with how much each competitor wants that World title shot. That little extra emotion would've made this perfect. However, this was the best piece out of both shows and I thoroughly enjoyed how it all went down.


The shows did well enough to set up the Lottery. I'm surprised there wasn't a little more in the way of hyping up the Eurasian title match. It definitely lacked in that department to build it up.

Also, referees. Sometimes there is one. Sometimes there isn't. I know style changes based on each writer but a little consistency with the referee situation is needed. Either use the generic "referee" term or start assigning referees for the matches.

I hope all this was helpful.
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Old 07-05-2018, 10:34 PM
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I've never done one of these but I felt like Kingdom Come deserved one.

To get things started, whoever wrote the intro did a great job of making the location of KC come through vibrantly with both the stage and performance description. This was followed by an equally as impressive written video package to kick off the show that immediately got me excited to continue reading. Great job setting the table by the writers.

Next, I was immediately blown away by the graphic for the first match. It was absolutely beautiful. Having those amazing graphics serve as a header for each match truly added to the overall grandeur of the event. Outstanding job, Killjoy.

Mark Keaton's Darth Vader entrance drew a couple of chuckles from me, but I don't know if I've ever appreciated an e-fed entrance as much as I did Liv Mas' entrance. I found it extremely poignant. Kudos to Yaz & AB for coming up with it. I was a little surprised to see this match open the card but after the great entrances and the excellent crafting of the match by Dave I saw exactly why it served as a great table setter.

The segment with John Constantine and Steven Holmes got me in the feels a little bit, but once Stormrage was introduced I was a little confused because he just came off his hard fought match. Either way, I tried not to let it effect my enjoyment of the segment which I thought served a great purpose of injecting some history with a bit of humor.

I must admit, pretty much throughout the night I expected the Mayhem Match to be next and kept finding myself a bit surprised to see how many matches preceded it. This isn't a critique at all, just an honest description of my thought process at the time. The Elite Title math served as a very solid showcase of all 4 participants of the match. As it was mentioned in the Discussion Thread, I too was a bit confused as to who exactly was pinned in the match. I believe Callie pinned Lynx after knocking Randy Studd off the apron on her way to the top turnbuckle, but a little more clarity would have served the finish much better. Either way, I don't think it takes away anything from Callie's victory. I thought all 4 characters could move on from this match in a positive manner, something I applaud KJ for achieving.

As I re-read the event I now realize this quick Eve Taylor/Tyrone Blades segment was serving as a foreshadowing of the main event switch announcement. If I'm correct, I think it's a cool move for the Tyrone Blades character to seemingly have a hand in it happening. The Blades character would indeed understand the magnitude of Titus/Constantine.

I wasn't here for most of Cerberus' run. In fact, I think I remember the Ramparte character debuting shortly before my sudden departure. Point being, I only hear about the great run, I never experienced it myself. The video package here did a great job making me more invested in Flex vs Batti. I truly had little to no idea of any of their history. Nice job whoever wrote that up. The two matches before this were a great 1-2 punch to start off the night but the video package and history lesson made Batti vs Mussel feel like the first big time match of the evening. I only really knew about Krypto... even feuded against the character years ago, but I was never invested in the character. In just this past cycle, I'm all in on King Mussel... and I was all in throughout this entire match. I didn't realize it was going to be Batti's final match, but it served as an almost beautiful way of bringing the character to an end... thanks in no small part to Milenko's writing of the match. This was a damn good match to end one of the better feuds going into Kingdom Come.

The Garth Black interview was alright. Nothing major here. The Titus segment afterwards was a bit more effective for me. I remember getting genuinely excited to get up to that match.

Garth Black is another character I am not very familiar with, so I was very surprised by how emotionally invested I became as I read this match. Jeff did such a great job making me care more and more about the winner as the match progressed. The pacing was top notch. I try to scroll slowly to not spoil myself so I genuinely bought Kagura's small package on Garth as the finish. I was hooked. Kagura's impending doom as Garth held her up to deliver a second Black Out was so palpable. I seriously enjoyed this match a lot more than I thought I would going into it. Jeff, I applaud you.

A quick segment with the Mayhem participants followed. I did find it a little weird that someone who no-showed got the final line in a segment. I was curious what would happen with the Blazing Tiger and Ace Stevens character and can't say I wouldn't have preferred a triple threat match here between myself, HVK & Mancini... but I thought KJ did a very nice job writing both of their characters while walking a fine line between doing their characters proud and performing like they no-showed. Although the character's started the match behind the eight-ball, they weren't completely written off throughout the fight. I thought Harald Var Krigare was appropriately made to look very strong and formidable throughout the match. His presence in the match always felt as if it were overbearing to the other competitors, and rightfully so. I definitely laughed at Vega's usage of the crown. When I wrote the RP choosing the crown, I imagined him simply hitting people over the head with it early on or something. I rather enjoyed how the weapons were an integral part of each 3 RPing character's offense. Vega throwing his crown and catching it as it bounces back a couple of times throughout the match was something even I didn't foresee. At one point Connor compares him to Captain America throwing his shield. It's precisely the type of levity I enjoyed seeing in Mayhem matches back in my day. I thoroughly enjoyed this match, and even though I lost I was glad to see the HVK character come out looking strong in the end. I believe Fallout can truly carve out a place for him in the Mayhem division before moving up in the cards.

The Hall of Fame segment served it's purpose. It was nice, but the actual Hall of Fame Ceremony posted the day or two prior to KC was definitely a touching piece of work. It's incredible to be a part of an e-fed that has been around so long and has had so many established characters that a Hall of Fame is actually appropriate to have. Congratulations once again to Yaz, Funkay & Dave.

So did someone just basically google famous Spanish celebrities? Antonio Banderas in the open, Alejandro Sanz with the attendance announcement? lol. It made me chuckle.

Then came perhaps my favorite segment simply because of how it set the table for the night's finale. Eve Taylor losing it over not being in the Main Event was appropriate for the character, and just effin' awesome decision making by creative.

Suddenly, up next is one of the most awesome co-main events ever in Eve Taylor vs Tyrone Blades. Although not my favorite storyline leading into the event, I was invested in the story enough to eagerly look forward to this match. The video package was well done. I think writing a world title match between two characters the likes of Eve Taylor and Tyrone Blades could be a pretty daunting task... perhaps only 2nd to the following match... but I think Ech absolutely delivered here. I predicted an Eve Taylor victory but in no way thought I knew the outcome. There were a couple of times I thought I had gotten my prediction right but Tyrone winning was a welcome result regardless. I couldn't help but feel as I came to the ending and read the celebration that this served so much better as the co-main event and not the final moment of the night. Match order could not only make or break an event, it effects the effectiveness of a match in general... and this being the second to last match I felt like honestly helped both characters much more than had they gone on last. It didn't diminish Tyrone's moment at all in my opinion... he's Tyrone Blades, and nothing can diminish him. The World Title match being the co-main just added so much more to the entire event.

And finally... the most anticipated match I have ever personally had the pleasure of reading since I've been a part of this fed. I cared about this match more than my own match. I was seriously hyped by the time I got to it... which is a huge homage to the crew. Had KC not been well paced and well written, I would have felt tired and anxious reading through all of that to get to the main event... but instead I was eager, excited, intrigued. The anticipation built properly all night with the segments and the match order switch.... just so well done to get us to this point.

And then Falkon... delivers perhaps the greatest example of match writing I have ever read in my entire life. Absolutely immaculate, stellar, downright beautiful match writing. I have no idea how you were able to exceed the hype for this match, but you did and then some. The match itself was masterfully written... and the post match actions of both Titus and Constantine, just wow. I believe it is the greatest thing I have ever read in all my years of e-fedding. A perfect match, and it made reading Kingdom Come an absolute joy.

Falkon, Dave, Ech, Jeff, KJ, Milenko, Lee and anyone else involved... a standing ovation to all of you. Shows like that make me feel privileged to participate in this fed. Take a bow, gentleman.

Thank you for an amazing show.
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Old 07-06-2018, 01:39 AM
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I'll do this in two parts. First the things I think could have been done better, and then things that I think were done very well.

Kingdom Come 9

Things that could have been better:

In the Elite Openweight match, this has been mentioned by others already, but it was very unclear as to who got pinned. I thought it was Studd at first, then upon re-reading it I thought it was Wren. Or was it Lynx? The reader should not have to get confused by things like that. In multi-person matches the person being pinned should be specifically mentioned. A similar situation occurs in the Mayhem match of it not being fully clear who got pinned.

The segment before Batti VS Flex had too much old show content in my opinion. I found it a little tough to read through. Stuff like this would be better with more focus on PPV content. I know that specific moments were being highlighted so you can't always pull PPV content for that reason. Maybe interviews with the competitors would have been better. This segment really didn't do it for me.

There were a couple of typos that I noticed. At one point in the Garth VS Kagura match Connor says "it nearly costed him the match". That should have been "cost" instead of "costed". The second one came towards the end of the show. In the segment where the announcers are talking about Titus VS Constantine before the match, Connor says "this is the championship that has alluded Constantine". This should have been "eluded" not "alluded".

My biggest dislike with this show is one I had already mentioned to Dave. I'll say it now to everyone else. Whether it be Garth Black or Randy Studd, one of these two should not have been on the card. The Elite Openweight match could have had another competitor in Studd's place while Kagura still faces Garth. Or Studd could have still been in the Elite match while Garth doesn't compete which raises the question of what Kagura could have done. Regardless, this kinda rubbed me the wrong way. While I'm not angry (which I told Dave) it should not have happened. When Creative says "no second characters at Kingdom Come" and then someone gets to have a second character but others don't, it makes it look like people are not being treated equally. I've made it known how busy I was this cycle. However if this round had happened during a time where I had the time to do 2 RP's then I likely would have been a lot more upset about this. Just me being honest, guys. I know it was unintentional for it to have ended up the way it did with the matches. I've been back there with you guys so I know the team goes through so much with planning shows. I know how hard it could have been to prevent what happened. So, I've said my peace and will leave it at that. Let's move on. Rant over.

Things I think were done very well:

Loved the graphics for all of the matches. Those were fantastically done. Every single one of them.

Having the tag team match go first was a good call. I figured either that or the Mayhem title match would have opened. The entrances for both teams were pretty cool. I wish I would have had the time to come up with one of my own, but time was against me. It's a miracle I even was able to RP with everything I had going on.

The comment Connor made asking about Tiffany only to quickly be silenced by the other announcers made me laugh. She won't be back, not even as an NPC. I might answer Connor's question in an RP down the line without her actually appearing in it. I wrote her out for personal reasons. Long story short, writing Tiffany and Theron's story helped me come to terms with something that happened years ago. Anyway, the comment made me laugh.

The decision to have Titus VS Constantine go last was a nice surprise. I often say that the World Championship should always close unless there is a dream match. It's safe to say that the main event qualifies as such with two Hall Of Famers going at it with the possibility of a reign lasting two full Seasons at this point. I felt bad for Eve Taylor when she spoke to the GM's. I really enjoyed the segment before Eve VS Blades. It did a great job of showing just how big of a deal this match is, despite it not closing the show. Eve had my favorite RP of the round so I really thought she had this, even though I had said in my predictions that it wouldn't surprise me if Ty won. He's referred to as one of the very best for a reason. Second best match other than the main event.

What an ending. The main event was very deserving to go on last and it was a great conclusion. It took another legend to end the legendary reign. The show of respect between the two Hall Of Famers was a really good moment. Best part of the show! A fitting farewell for the end of Constantine's career in the shows but also Dave's time as Head Of Creative in real life.

I know I ranted a bit in the criticism portion of this show review, but you guys did a great job with this show. Way to go, Creative team! Highly enjoyable as an overall read. Other than Kingcom Come 7 this might be my favorite Kingdom Come event so far.

"And that's the bottom line, because DAGGER DIAS said so!"

Originally Posted by Bernkastel View Post
Dagger is the John Cena of this site.
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Old 07-07-2018, 03:46 PM
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Dynamite's Kingdom Come Review (Ya Heard)

Opening - Standard stuff, national anthem, opening hype and recap of all the matches. Well done as always, hard to fuck that up.

Live Mas vs. Triple/Keaton - Entrances were very creative. The personality of all the characters shined through. The match itself was quite fun too. The use of a replay was nice as I haven't seen that done in a while, though I could be wrong. The winners were unfortunately never in doubt for me, but that's besides the point. Not sure where either of these four men go from here but Live Mas works in that you can plug either Tastic or Stormrage (separately or together) in just about anywhere and it works. I hope Keaton finds solid footing as I've wanted to him to go much farther ever since he broke away from being Cooper's protege. Triple X is a solid upper mid card hand as well who seems to be lost in the shuffle, hope that changes.

Segments - I'm skipping any that don't involve promos from characters or recaps or anything that's just NPCs. Not much for me to say on them.

Holmes/Consty/Mikey - Nice little reunion with some WWE like comedy, I dig it.

Elite OpenWeight Fatal Fourway - Felt like it went by sort of quick but that doesn't take away from the match quality. I know multi-man matches can be a bit tough to stretch out. Callie is Alexa Bliss in more ways than one, and I feel she may be the sleeper champion in the company, it'll be interesting to see who can take the belt off of her. All the other's involved seem like they have may to go to the end of line, chase another title, or possibly find a feud because the Elite League felt draining.

Blades/Taylor - Interesting to have the World title competitors face to face before they're match with no shenanigans. Bitches love shenanigans.

Batti/Flex Recap - Stuff like this is always great. Lots of us really gloss over stuff on the shows we're not a part of or weren't there for stuff that happened years ago. This showed just how important history was in this feud.

Batti vs Flex - Hard to rate a match I'm involved in fairly but I did enjoy it. Particularly the wheelchair stage spot was really cool. I thought the ending was quite abrupt. As soon as Flex was declared the winner things seemed kinda rushed. But it's whatever, I'm just sad to see Batti go, I was hoping to inflict more pain and sexism upon her.

Garth Backstage - Is Garth still an alcoholic? I lost track of his gimmick after the conspiracy theory stuff.

Titus Eurasian Accolades - Incredible reign, nice to recap the victims.

Kagura vs Garth Black - Far and away the most technical and thrilling written match on show so far. For a sleeper match that I think fell under the radar for a lot of people this kicked ass. Garth is a former World champion and now easily claim to a potential shot at least something in the future, though it seems like this feud might not be done, and with everything being so crowded everywhere else that might be for the best.

Mayhem Competitors Segment - Ace Stevens should have been bigger than he is.

Mayhem Title Match - A fun chaotic mess is the perfect way to describe this match. Similar to the Elite match in my opinion of it. Congrats to Harald. The Mayhem title isn't defended in every match the champion is in anymore right? I think that should change, to at least all singles matches. Make the Mayhem Division great again damnit.

Hall of Fame - By the numbers, ain't nothing wrong with that.

Taylor/Miles - Announcing the World title won't main event was cool but it could have been revealed in the earlier Taylor/Blades segment. One or the other just felt unnecessary.

World title Recap - The second of the three marque matches to receive a promo. Good stuff, sprinkle in that old show content like salt bae into open wounds.

World Title Match - I really had no clue Jason Mamoa was Tyrone's rep and have completely lost track of who is Eve's. Unrelated but still important to state. Probably only the second match of the night where I was really captivated by what I was reading. It really felt like these two were in pure competition to beat the hell out of each other and beat the best. I'm never a fan of repeating the same World title match on the next B-show PPV but since this technically didn't main event I wouldn't mind seeing these two go at it again with a stipulation. Since one of them is eventually losing to me it's all good.

July 4th Comedy - Poor Keaton.

Eurasian Tale of the Tape - This was a really good way of really getting the gravitas of this match and just how big of a deal both these legends are. On some Undertaker shit this felt epic.

Eurasian Title Match - Easily match of the night based off it's scope, feel, and basically everything surrounding this match. I didn't really feel the weight of this feud until this show but this went hard. Mixed in with the double post this match was phenomenal.

Overall Thoughts - With the graphics and worked that was put in this was a great show, but I'd say only three matches really felt like they were KC levels of quality. I'm obviously not putting down anyone's work and not every match has or needs to be super long I'm just pointing out where it felt like more work was put in. It's hard to fuck this up though, everyone on creative are very capable writers with experience so I would expect nothing less. I think this has hopefully motivated us all to do our best to continue allowing shows like this to be made so the fed can prosper, because things can really get even better if we collectively keep going.

Make America Healthy Again! - King Mussel

Credit to Dave
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Old Today, 04:28 AM
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Meltdown 152

I like the new graphics that Killjoy made. They make the show look a little more unique and a bit more personal. I am saddened, on a personal note, that you aren't using the decade graphic that was made. It celebrated 10 years of hard work but that's more a personal thing than anything else.

The opening to Meltdown was really good. I think it's a great idea to summarise what happened on the last set of shows at the start of a show. Raw and SD do that all the time to remind people of what they should know and it really helped after such a long time since the last show. Well done to whoever thought of that. In terms of the meat of the segment, I think Ty could have been given more time to talk about his accomplishment. It seems a little quick to me but I know you guys had a lot to get through.

Really disappointed that El Hijo was done in this way. I'd really like to know the story behind that because that's not how I imagined it going at all. The handler seemed very keen to be involved and it seems odd to me that they would no show the first match. Still, a good win for Stetson Hayes. I got a laugh from him arriving on a horse too.

Again, I think more could be made of Batti going away but if that's what Spidey wanted, then so be it. The Titus line got a laugh out of me again.

I'm glad that you realise that Kagura lost to Black and the roles should have been reversed with regards to the title contender match. It all plays in to Black's wheelhouse, so I'm not upset about it. It looks as though it'll be Black versus Titus at the next PPV - that ought to be a good match if built correctly. I didn't see a great deal of reasoning in that segment other than "I want Titus" really. I'm hoping that gets meatier as we go forward.

The gauntlet match was a cool idea to write off Blazing Tiger and the rest of Remix's characters in one go. A lot of it was quite funny and I have to give you credit for remembering some of the characters that I couldn't. Remix burned his bridge once and for all and deserved this. That said, you guys have crossed a line if you used his real name at the end. If you have, you should remove that. It's not on. If you haven't, ignore that last part. I sense a shift in behaviour with Titus too. It's only natural after his lengthy reign that the fans should appreciate it. Watch this space, I guess.

Decent segment from the Live Mas team. Intriguing shift of character from Tastic from the opening to the middle of the show though. Maybe he's acting one way for the crowd and another with Mikey. He was almost heelish in the opening and a face in the middle. Odd but I'll allow it until I see more.

I'll try and keep the feedback on my match brief because there's a tendency for bias when talking about your own characters. I really enjoyed Broon towelling off Studd - that's exactly the type of thing Broon would do. He's got no time for pretentiousness or nonsense. That was a good idea. The match itself was really good, so all credit to Jeff for writing it. I like when you think about characters and make the match revolve around their personalities. This was a great example of it. The soda spots and the beard stuff, really good.

Decent segment from Callie that explains her absence and does some good heel work with her character.

Flex being a shifty, manipulative bastard? Aye, sign me up for that.

I thought the next match between Vega and Blades was a little bit short for my liking. Vega is a bit name with a lot of pedigree and this could have been much more of a slog between two great superstars. The match itself was decent though, I don't have any complaints other than the length. Good win for Blades in front of his home crowd. I think Vega could have been protected a bit more though.

The next segment was literally a waste of a post. Nothing happens.

I enjoyed that Taylor was on commentary for the main event. I also enjoyed the initial interaction with the other commentators. She should be in the match given her loss to Blades, so I'm glad you guys didn't ignore that. The match itself is really good and is probably the best match in the show. There's a few spots in there that really help the match along, notably the Matt Tastic injury. It'll be interesting to see how that pans out between Tastic and Mikey. Having Flex win is then right decision and having Taylor do the dirty work on Blades is a good call too. If that's the main event for the upcoming PPV, colour me interested. A lot of history between all three of the competitors to work with.

Overall, decent show. The matches were hit and miss but mostly hit. The same goes for the segments too. Really good show this round, guys. Keep it up.
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