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  #11  
Old 05-03-2016, 07:25 AM
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enviousdominous enviousdominous is offline
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Originally Posted by Akhilleus View Post
To touch on this a little bit, I too would not completely decline the idea of talking to someone every once in awhile. A Mental Health Clinic is a tad extreme, but I'm a psychology major...and for the longest time I had this idea that I couldn't go to a counselor because I wanted to be one. How could I be a counselor if I need help? But I realized eventually how silly that was. I was basically holding myself to a higher standard than my future patients.

Since then, I've been taking advantage of my university's free counseling center anytime I felt like I need someone to talk to and vent. I don't really have a lot of people I can actually trust in to vent all my problems away, but for some reason there I can. Not only that, but I'm also experiencing counselling on the other side. Which is great (and recommended) for when I do go into that career.

Simply put, there is no problem in taking up an offer to go to a counselor or other sort of professional, especially if that offer is free.

As far as your situation goes, I would agree that your friend is a little nosy. I wouldn't hold it against him, he sounds like a nice guy who actually cares about you. Something that is a bit rare nowadays. I would suggest talking to him straight up about this though, tell him you really appreciate his concern, but he just needs to back off sometimes and let you do you.
If I may be selfish for a moment; while I relate to you in the sense of recognizing that by ignoring the benefits of counseling I'm putting myself above those who have sought counseling, I really don't think that anyone who's recommended that I go to counseling truly knows my quirks or my coping mechanisms.

My career is like living in a very uptight gated community, a fishbowl if you will. Everybody wants to be great, so they act great based on the standard of great that was dictated by some person whose influence doesn't have to be based on good reason. They want to help you, and it's great for them that they've invented a laundry list of problems that you have that would sure validate their opinion of themselves if they could convince you that they're real.

I know, I sound like most testy patients who want to get combative during a session. My cousin is the Chief Medical Officer at the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, I would think that if I was at risk for anything she would have called me out when she and I chat. While our chats can be described as casual psycho-analysis, she spends most of the time venting about her problems (which I don't mind).

My point is: we all have quirks. If you manage them well, you don't need counseling. Talking to an impartial listener is a good thing for most of us, so your advice is solid. What my co-workers are suggesting is that I seek help as a means of confirming for them that I don't manage my quirks well. In my line of work, you see people facing negative consequences all the time for doing something that everyone says will never result in negative consequences.

The biggest problem is when you talk to some of my co-workers straight. They usually don't know how much it can really free one's soul to admit that we're not perfect, and that admitting as much isn't failure. It all depends on the situation, and more often than not the situation is one where giving someone a straight talk about their problems is the worst possible thing you can do.

Few people in my career field can take criticism without the common idiotic reflex of giving criticism back to me, based only on the purpose of getting even for being slighted. I work with people who disguise themselves as absolutely unshakable, and as it turns out the tiniest dose of discouraging reality will put them on the verge of self harm and hopelessness. I'm giving my friend the benefit of a work environment where I don't remind him of how he slipped up from my perspective, which is a hell of a lot more than he would give anybody else.

I'm sure that a small sliver in the pie chart that is his reasoning for starting with me was that he was genuinely concerned with my well being, and in spite of my reclusive nature I'm willing to let myself feel good for being thought about.
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Last edited by enviousdominous : 05-03-2016 at 07:28 AM.
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  #12  
Old 05-03-2016, 11:22 PM
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Is your boss the female version of Michael Scott?




I have never actually watched that show. I guess you just gave me a show to binge watch because now I am interested.
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