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  #21  
Old 02-18-2016, 04:27 PM
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Originally Posted by Navi View Post
When someone pays off a bill for you, or gives you money to pay off a bill, it's not a gift, it's a loan.
Not necessarily. Whether someone hands you money or advances it to a third party on your behalf, they've 'gifted' you the money, not loaned it.

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Originally Posted by Navi View Post
Also gifts aren't asked for, whereas a loan for cash would be.
This is also not necessarily so. A person can ask for a gift from someone else. Granted, it wouldn't be what is traditionally considered a gift.....with a wrapped package or envelope.....but under the law, it would be a gift. If you don't have to pay it back, it's a gift.

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Originally Posted by Navi View Post
I know it's your mother in law, and believe me I'm not trying to be rude, but she really doesn't have the right to tell you when to take your daughter out to dinner, not on Valentine's Day.
Yes, she does. It might not be considered good form in a social sense for her to do so, but if Mom decides to give money for the express purpose of going out to dinner, that's what the recipient is obligated to use it for. If they don't want to go out to dinner, they should send back the gift, unless they can get Mom's approval to change the condition.

Gifts may be unconditional or conditional, but they're still gifts if no repayment is required.
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  #22  
Old 02-18-2016, 04:47 PM
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The gift didn't come with a condition. A dinner with your daughter was the gift. You were free to refuse if you didn't want it. There is no bigger issue here other than the schism between you and your mother-in-law.
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  #23  
Old 02-18-2016, 05:19 PM
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Originally Posted by Navi View Post
When someone pays off a bill for you, or gives you money to pay off a bill, it's not a gift, it's a loan. And if it's a loan, then it's expected that it will be paid back. If you give someone money as a gift, then it's not expected to be paid back. Also gifts aren't asked for, whereas a loan for cash would be. Otherwise how would you know unless you where asked in advance.
Yeah but that is what I said in my reply. I said if they paid it off but didn't ask to be paid back that is a gift. Much like this case paying the bill (or dinner) without asking to be paid back. So it's not really a lend if they don't want it back? So if it's not a lend and not a gift/present what is it? Also I think gifts can be asked for for example you ask your parents some money without stating if you would pay it back or not and they say just keep it don't worry about paying us back, wouldn't that be counted as a gift? Or if your wife/husband asked what you want for you're birthday and you tell them what you want, is that a gift? I classify it as one.

Quote:
We do the same here when the kids are young. As they get older though it's hard to know what to buy. This year we gave my nephew cash because he wants a put a new sound system in his car and is saving towards it. Otherwise I would have bought him something. I hate giving cash really, it's a lazy gift with no thought behind it. Usually we end up giving a small gift and a gift card at their favourite store.
And I think that's the best way to go, it makes everyone happy.

Quote:
I know it's your mother in law, and believe me I'm not trying to be rude, but she really doesn't have the right to tell you when to take your daughter out to dinner, not on Valentine's Day. I know some people don't care that much about it, but in our family we do because it's our anniversary as well.

I'm the type I would have called her back and thanked her, but also told her we would take the child out the following night, as we already had plans for the evening. If she wished to have the money back then she could have it.
This I agree with though. The stipulation on a night you already had plans for and that you's don't go out very often was harsh and really well done for following the guidelines of your mother in laws request, but I think Navi is right in which she doesn't have the right to say when to do it especially if plans were made that day. Something you guys were looking forward to is now on hold for another month , which sucks I bet.

So in summary what I'm trying to say I think you should've taken your family out with the money she gave you but I really don't think anyone has a say on when you do it. Hope the night turned out okay regardless of what happened.
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