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View Poll Results: Who is the Best Wrestler of the Year in 2011?
Cody Rhodes 2 2.82%
CM Punk 31 43.66%
R-Truth 2 2.82%
John Cena 9 12.68%
James Storm 3 4.23%
Dolph Ziggler 4 5.63%
Randy Orton 15 21.13%
Mark Henry 2 2.82%
Bobby Roode 1 1.41%
Christian 2 2.82%
Voters: 71. You may not vote on this poll

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  #1  
Old 12-20-2011, 01:57 PM
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Default Best Wrestler of the Year

Poll coming.
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  #2  
Old 12-20-2011, 02:07 PM
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Storm or Roode leaning toward Storm
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  #3  
Old 12-20-2011, 02:16 PM
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If you take what Punk has done last 6-8 months, with the shoot on Cena, to his great matches with Cena.To Punk getting that loyal Wrestling Fan back into the interest of WWE.Punk is changing the game of Wrestling, and if WWE would have more Wrestlers with the total package like Punk, WWE would ten times better then they are now.
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  #4  
Old 12-20-2011, 02:23 PM
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I'm planning to be boring and vote for CM Punk. Somebody convince me otherwise.
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  #5  
Old 12-20-2011, 05:06 PM
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Wrestler of the Year
THE "WHO SHAT IN MY CROWN?" AWARD

Bret Hart would have it known that, well, perhaps he was never the most popular guy in the locker room, but hey, at least nobody ever shat in his crown. This award is for a man that deserves to have a crown. Whether they deserve to have an entire locker room deposit feces into it is another matter.

2009 - my wrestler of the year was CM Punk. You bastards have all come around now, huh? 2010 - my wrestler of the year was Daniel Bryan. Well, um, yeah. My 2011 wrestler - spoilers - isn't Zack Ryder. Whereas I actually found picking a wrestler of the year for the last couple of years quite easy - The Miz? Seriously? - this year was sort of hard. There were three frontrunners - and I reckon you can guess who they were - and a few other guys in the background that were doing some really impressive stuff. I've had genuine difficulty deciding who my wrestler of the year was going to be for the first time since I started deciding who my wrestler of the year was. So, uh, this is the hardest of the three years I actually remember doing this.

I don't have any TNA stars on the list for the same reason I don't have any NJPW or ROH stars on the list - I don't watch NJPW, I don't watch ROH and I don't watch TNA. There's nothing malicious in it. Well, alright, it is slightly tinged with malice. On the rare occasion I have seen TNA this year, the likes of James Storm, Bully Ray and, obviously, Scott Steiner have impressed me. Maybe I'll get back into watching TNA next year and I'll have a more diverse list for it. Un-bloody-likely.

Here's the list of Sammy nominees.

John Morrison

Morrison's the least obvious choice for my list and the most easy to ridicule, so let's get him out of the way early. I'm a Jomo Sapien and, yep, I'm going to eat your lunch.

John Morrison began 2011 with a hard fought loss against The Miz for the WWE Championship. You remember that, right? Dropped through a table. On purpose. Eat your heart out, Sabu. He's ended 2011, we presume, by having John Laurinaitis stare straight into the camera and wish him well in his future endeavours. What a difference a year makes, eh? That's just it, though - Morrison ended this year with a fizzle but he sure as shit started it with a bang. He's on this list because of the bang.

From the Royal Rumble through to Extreme Rules, John Morrison was one of my favourite things about WWE. A spot monkey, sure, but a damned good one. I never liked Jeff Hardy all that much. He had balls, sure, but where was the skill? Anyone can jump from a ladder and let gravity do the work. Morrison's spots demonstrate a finesse and athleticism that Hardy's never did, and that impressed me. It impressed me to the point that he was a highlight of the Royal Rumble, the highlight of Elimination Chamber and, to borrow a phrase, a cunt hair away from the WWE Championship at Extreme Rules. If only he'd have just dropped from the cage. What an idiot. Too proud to just let the gravity do the work, no doubt. See that, Jeff? Work ethic.

I still like his hair, I still like his beard, I still like his trousers with pockets made out of a different material, I still like his matches and I still think he's not all that bad with a microphone. I particularly like the fact that his psychologically unstable and - let's be totally honest - quite attractive girlfriend would likely have sexual relations with me for six pounds fifty, a stick of gum and whatever else I could get out of my pocket before she yanked my trousers off. John, it'll be OK. Stop crying. You made my list. I mean, you're right at the top, I've described you as "easy to ridicule" and I'm hypothetically balls deep in your girlfriend, but-- uh--

Merry Christmas.

Daniel Bryan

There were times this year that I thought that WWE were intentionally trying to sabotage Daniel Bryan. I mean, there's a reason that Bella shit is in the worst angle of the year list. Alternatively, the writing staff are horribly incompetent, and we wouldn't want to suggest that, would we?

I'm not going to pretend that Daniel Bryan's troubles are over, that WWE finally understand how to perfectly use him after all this time. However, we're getting there, bit by bit. The stop-start-stop-start push has turned more into a star-start-start-stop-start-start-start-stop push. He has a cool t-shirt, a cool jacket, cool ring music, cool trunks and boots and they're finally giving him time with a microphone so he can disprove that myth - which should have been dispelled during his NXT promos long ago - that he can't talk.

Oh, and he's World Heavyweight Champion. I suppose that could be a sign that he's finally being taken seriously.

Zack Ryder


You'll notice in my bit about Mark Henry I mention how Zack Ryder isn't in my list. No, don't go and look now. Just wait a minute. Well, I decided Zack should be, and I can't be bothered to go back and edit it. We're just going to have to live with it.

I was there on the ground floor with Zack Ryder. Not the ground floor ground floor. I was on board with the YouTube show pretty early on; that's what I'm trying to say. I jumped on the Ryder bandwagon, not because I believed in him or thought he was good but just as a laugh to see if this goofball could actually get on Raw. Along the way, I've actually started to believe in Zack Ryder.

It's December. He's United States Champion. He's more likely to appear on a pay-per-view than John Cena. Madison Square Garden fist pumped in unison.

What have I done?

John Cena

Cena hatred has become infinitely more tedious than Cena himself. Every time some cave-dwelling, half-feral twatbiscuit types the word "Cener" I die a little bit inside.

I have two surprises for you. Surprise number one; John Cena is on this list because of his work with CM Punk. This links in with surprise number two; CM Punk is also on my list - shocking, I know - so I'm going to have to be careful not to double up on stuff. Well then, let's start out with the stuff that didn't include CM Punk.

I did not care for Cena's work with The Miz. It showed some promise and there were some aspects of it which were entertaining enough - largely The Miz's WrestleMania video package - but it pretty much left me cold. I did not care for Cena's work with R-Truth. Again, some promise and R-Truth's heel turn was fairly entertaining, but nothing all that spectacular and the two didn't have much chemistry. Probably; I never watched Capitol Punishment. Cena's work with The Rock, if you can call it that, didn't do much for me either. One great promo from Rocky, one great promo from Cena, the rest has proven a special kind of trying. Del Rio? NOPE.

With CM Punk, John Cena produced two of the best two-man promos in a long time. More importantly, with CM Punk, John Cena produced one of the greatest matches in the history of professional wrestling. Make no mistake - John Cena more than pulled his weight during that feud and during that match. How can I possibly leave him off the list after that?

Maybe if I weren't so slightly, self-hatingly keen to pander to the widespread anti-Cena sentiment, he'd be much further down - i.e. higher up - my list. But, you know, he's on it and The Rock isn't. Small victories.

Mark Henry

Mark Henry, breakout star of the year. What in the blue fuck, right? He is though, isn't he? Dolph Ziggler? No, not really. Cody Rhodes? I'd love to say he is, but I can't lie to myself. Zack Ryder? Well, actually, maybe-- but he's not on this list. Perennial midcarder since 1996 to the third best World Heavyweight Champion of 2011. Talk about a meteoric rise.

Henry was right; I had no right cheering for him; I had no right jumping out of my seat when he won the world championship. I should have just sat there, all serious and po-faced. I never believed in him. At best, I considered him a maybe-could-have-been, and that isn't even a thing. Well, he proved me wrong, and how!

Hall of Pain Mark Henry has been brilliant. Big, black, bad and, above all, bodacious. In fact, if there's a competitor to CM Punk for promo man of the year, aside from John Cena, it's probably Mark Henry. Stop laughing. That's just rude. The man can cut a menacing promo without even having a microphone in his hand:

"If I charge for air, you keep your bills paid!"

Genius. Shakespearean almost. I'd also wager he has the best entrance in WWE right now. These are the things that really matter, people.

Cody Rhodes


It's no secret that I yell "Whoa-oh!" when I ejaculate. What you may not know is that two friends in suits then enter the room holding paper bags. I point to the woman (or women) that I've just demeaned and say "Bag yourself." Then I stand up, put on a protective clear plastic mask, say "Would you like a receipt with your paper bag?" and laugh maniacally. And they said romance is dead.

Why do I do this? Because rarely do you come across a wrestler as accomplished as Cody Rhodes. Fun to watch in the ring; fun to watch with a microphone in his hands; fun to watch. Good ol' fashioned, clean, all-American fun - like fornicating with a bald eagle. Cody had the match of the night at WrestleMania (fuck off, he did) and he had the match of the night at Extreme Rules, and I've been high on him ever since.

Remember when we all thought Ted DiBiase was going to be the breakout star of the two? Boy, that was stupid. No offense to members of the DiBiase Posse. All twelve of you.

Rey Mysterio

God damn, I love Rey Mysterio. Did I ever tell you how much I love Rey Mysterio? I seriously love Rey Mysterio. I'm glad I was able to finally put that "He's too small to be a feasible champion" stuff to rest this year. You know, after I plagiarised Coco The Monkey.

To plagiarise Y 2 Jake - as if I haven't done enough of that over the years - if you don't like Rey Mysterio, you don't like professional wrestling. If Rey hadn't been injured for the final part of the year, he'd definitely be one of the frontrunners for this award. You see, Rey Mysterio can't help but put on great matches. If he trips over, he gets back up by putting on a four star match with John Cena. Really - it's quite something to see.

Every now and then there's a match that reminds me why I love professional wrestling; a match that I'd show you if you asked me just what professional wrestling was to me. Half the time this match has Rey Mysterio in it. Rey Mysterio versus The Undertaker at the 2010 Royal Rumble, for example - that's what professional wrestling should be. This year, there were three matches like this. One of them was Cody Rhodes versus Rey Mysterio, Falls Count Anywhere at Extreme Rules. You see - this guy's gimmick is that he's really handsome, or was. He's wearing a plastic mask because this luchadore kicked him in the face with a knee brace and broke his nose. Now he's gone insane and they have to fight each other through the crowd and beat each other with trashcans and do moonsaults from bars. It's ridiculous, it's gratuitous, it's kind of humorous - above all, it's fucking awesome.

With two busted knees, slightly overweight and thirty-seven years old, Rey Mysterio is still better than your favourite wrestler.

Tomorrow: The Final Three*

*Because I haven't written about them yet. Not for dramatic effect.
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  #6  
Old 12-20-2011, 06:27 PM
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I was going to say things in response to that. Oh yes. I remember.

-I remember Miz vs Morrison, Sam. I remember.

-Cena vs Miz on Rock's birthday Raw was splendid. Didn't have Rock casting his shadow over the action like the Mania match did. Odd, I know, on his birthday show and all. Just roll with it. And acknowledge how swell the match was.

-Too many people forget Rey vs Taker from the 2010 Rumble. Easily one of Taker's best bouts ever. You know, because the only really good Taker bouts involve him getting carried by better workers. Yeah, I went there.

Anyhow, I went with Orton. He had awesome work in feuds with Punk, Christian, Rhodes, Barrett, and Miz of all people. Then he filled the space in between those matches by having awesome matches with Sheamus, Kane, Great Khali, and David Otunga. A god among men. I hope I can be forgiven for ever giving up on the young Randroid. He's finally become the awesome face management always wanted. And I do love faces.

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  #7  
Old 12-20-2011, 08:18 PM
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Have I sang CM Punk's praises enough? No. Ok. Here we go again. When you consider everything mixed together (match quality, promos, charisma, presence in important storylines, and causing reactions from those around him), it all goes back to CM Punk. This was his year: from doing the best he could with the terrible Nexus storyline to having solid matches with Rey Mysterio to the shoot heard around the world and the subsequent Summer of Punk. He DEFINED 2011. CM Punk was money this year in the ring, out of the ring, on the mic, and yes, even on commentary (the two or three times he was on it this year).
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  #8  
Old 12-20-2011, 08:30 PM
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Dolph Ziggler hands down has more OMG and Holy Shit matches than anyone else listed on the poll. That man could wrestle a paperbag full of shit and have a 5 star match, so yeah he deserves my vote.
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  #9  
Old 12-20-2011, 11:36 PM
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Orton. In character 100% of the time, looks and moves like a complete bad ass, and has no problem busting out some aerial splits when needed. Had above average-to-great matches with just about every guy on the roster (including David fucking Otunga), and put several guys over (not like that matters to me, but some of you cry over that sort of thing). Best year of his career, probably.
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  #10  
Old 12-20-2011, 11:40 PM
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After consideration I think I'm going to go with Mark Henry on this one. Yeah CM Punk probably deserves it the most, but odds are that he'll probably be in the running again next year. Mark Henry's entire career, 15+ years worth, pretty much did a complete 180. For a career mid carder he sure has done damn well for himself these past few months.
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