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  #21  
Old 11-04-2009, 11:40 AM
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There’s no doubt that 1990 was an awful Survivor Series and maybe the worst of all time. It is remembered for two things. The debut of the Undertaker and the ridiculousness of the GobbeldyGooker. At the time we didn’t have any clue how big Taker would become so that didn’t have an immediate impact to make the show any better. It’s funny because I look back with fondness when I think of old school Survivor Series until I actually watch them. It pains me to say it, but a lot of the shows were just boring.

There was no real reason for Warrior to be in the first match other than to fill the team and get a major star on it. Since he was world champion shouldn’t he have had a feud of his own? I’m with you KB. I don’t remember a feud between Warrior and Perfect at all. I believe this was Ax’s last appearance with the WWF. Why not just leave him out of the match and put Savage in his place? That would have been much better. It was kind of strange that Savage didn’t wrestle on this ppv.

Of course the next match is famous for the debut of Undertaker. It’s a little odd seeing him in the WWF in 1990. I’m not sure why Koko was on this team. Not that it’s weird for him to be there, but I think there was a better choice. The British Bulldog had just returned about a month prior to this and would have been a much better fit in my opinion. I guess they just wanted someone for Taker to kick around and that job is right up Koko’s alley. For the second year in a row Bret gave us a good showing. Last year Savage made him look great and this year it was Dibiase. You could tell it was only a matter of time before Bret broke out on his own.

I don’t really have anything to say about the Vipers vs. the Visionaries. The action was pretty boring and nothing really interesting happened at all.

The Hulkamaniacs vs. The Natural Disasters was about as typical as you can get. Not that that’s necessarily bad, just nothing really interesting to comment on. I remember Rick Rude was originally on the heel team, but he left WWF about a month before Survivor Series and was replaced by Haku. In one of the stupidest storylines ever Rude was indefinitely suspended by Jack Tunney for making fun of the Big Bossman’s mother. Rude would never wrestle for the WWF again. I know it was just an excuse to explain Rude’s departure, but that’s a pretty stiff penalty for making fun of someone’s mom. Rick Martel “blinded” one of the most popular stars endangering his career. Earthquake attacked the top star and almost forced him into retirement. No punishment for these guys. It’s a good thing Martel or Quake didn’t make any momma jokes or they too could have faced a suspension.

What can I say about the GobbeldyGooker that hasn’t been said before? Words can not describe how horrible this was. This was the biggest waste of time in ppv history. That’s saying a lot.

The Alliance vs. The Mercenaries was just a pitiful match. Nothing in this match flowed together and it was simply there to get more heat on Slaughter. Just bad.

The Grand Match of Survival was a unique idea, but it just didn’t work. By this point in the night the fans just didn’t care. There weren’t any interesting matchups and it was completely obvious who was going to win. We already got our fill of Hogan and Warrior for the night and after a boring show it was just time for it to end. The idea is good in theory, and I applaud WWF for trying this out. It was simply a seemingly good idea that did not work. That’s why it hasn’t been done since. When doing a match like this you have to be careful with the rest of the card. For example, if not for this match I can pretty much guarantee that Slaughter would have won his match. He had just returned and was getting pushed as the top heel. He was about to take the title off the Warrior at the next ppv and go the WrestleMania against Hogan. It would make sense for him to survive his match against a bunch of glorified jobbers. They didn’t want to put Slaughter in there with Warrior and Hogan so soon. This is just an example of what could have been a future booking problem if they kept the Grand Match of Survival match in the future.

Overall it was a pretty terrible show. Probably the worst Survivor Series of all. Although I hated 1999 too, but that’s a conversation for next week. As I said about 1989 I do enjoy watch these old ppvs, even the bad ones, every few years just for the nostalgia.
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  #22  
Old 11-04-2009, 11:47 AM
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What can I say about the GobbeldyGooker that hasnít been said before? Words can not describe how horrible this was. This was the biggest waste of time in ppv history. Thatís saying a lot.
I beg to differ. The GobbledyGooker was ultimately one show, Santina lives on forever. I'm not saying I support that stupid bird, but at least it went away. Santina and the Ms. WrestleMania crap lived on for a few months, killing time on weekly shows, and even some PPVs. It killed what could have been a decent moment for returning Divas like Lita and Sunny.
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  #23  
Old 11-04-2009, 12:01 PM
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I really don't get the point of the final survival match, kayfabe or otherwise. In kayfabe, you are taking exhausted guys, and making them fight some more to see who the ultimate survivor is, but can you actually do that when they are all tired? As for booking purposes, all it does is take any rub you give some of the winners and erase it by having them get squashed in the last match. Terrible idea
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Old 11-04-2009, 12:04 PM
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I really don't get the point of the final survival match, kayfabe or otherwise.
I agree, but I do think there's one or two ways it could have worked. Have a bunch of heels win, bringing a team of 7 or 8 to the "final" to face either Hogan (because he's Hogan), or Warrior (being the champ), and have them dominate. I know it's stupid, but at least we would have had a story behind it, instead of Hogan, Warrior, and El Matador fighting for the good guys at the end.
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  #25  
Old 11-04-2009, 12:12 PM
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Originally Posted by NightShiftLoser View Post
I agree, but I do think there's one or two ways it could have worked. Have a bunch of heels win, bringing a team of 7 or 8 to the "final" to face either Hogan (because he's Hogan), or Warrior (being the champ), and have them dominate. I know it's stupid, but at least we would have had a story behind it, instead of Hogan, Warrior, and El Matador fighting for the good guys at the end.
But even that doesn't work. That just makes Hogan and Warrior look even more dominate somehow, and the heels still end up buried. That's what makes the tag matches so good for booking purposes. You can have guys lose without looking bad, and guys win without blowing off a feud. This match ruined that.
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Old 11-04-2009, 01:20 PM
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Iím not sure why Koko was on this team. Not that itís weird for him to be there, but I think there was a better choice. The British Bulldog had just returned about a month prior to this and would have been a much better fit in my opinion. I guess they just wanted someone for Taker to kick around and that job is right up Kokoís alley.
I feel a little weird quoting myself, but I just realized there is another idea that would make much more sense. Why wasn't Dustin on the team. His first run with WWF was not very memorable, but he was around at this time. It's so obvious. He's Dusty's son and was very involved in the feud with Dibiase. He was young then and booked as an underdog so it would have been ok for Taker to beat him. Having Dibiase's mystery partner brutalize Dusty's son could have furthered their feud. So obvious.
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Old 11-04-2009, 02:35 PM
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I love your reviews KB, just love them.

The 1990 Survivor Series review is the one that I had been waiting on. I just wanted to read your take on 'Taker's debut. I haven't watched the entire PPV is quite sometime. Was it really that horrible? Oh well. The 1990 Survivor Series will always be etched in time for the debut of 'Taker.

Might be the most significant Survivor Series ever just for 'Taker's debut.
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Thus why I'd let a girl put on a strap-on and get in there. You only live once.
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  #28  
Old 11-04-2009, 09:24 PM
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Survivor Series 1991
Date: November 27, 1991
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 17,500
Commenators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan

Ok, so due to Microsoft and their fucking automatic updates that no one actually knows what they’re good for, I lost 91-94, so this is the second time I’ve reviewed these four shows. Therefore if I seem a bit pissed off, that’s why. Anyway, the main thing here is simple: Vince has more or less given up on the idea of having all Survivor Series matches and has given us a traditional main event match, in this case, Taker challenging Hogan for the world title.

Also, Flair has jumped ship to the WWF in a huge botch on WCW’s part. Finally, the hottest feud in the world right now is Jake Roberts vs. Randy Savage, but I’ll get to why I’m pissed off about that in just a few minutes. Other than that, the show is pretty much what you would expect.

The roster is changing a bit though; with it being more like the early 90s look than what we had seen for years before. It was a pretty bad show when I watched it two weeks ago, so maybe it’s somehow improved since then.

We get the logo and everything with a huge banner over it saying 5th Annual. Is it really something we need to know that badly? Within 30 seconds of the start of the show we’re hearing about the Roberts vs. Macho situation. So here’s the idea: Savage lost the career ending match at Mania and is officially retired. However, he’s trying to get reinstated since no one really stays retired (are you listening Ric Flair?).

Roberts had been supposed to feud with the Warrior for a huge program but Warrior was an asshole and got fired, which you can read about in my Summerslam 91 review. Anyway, they instead paired him with Savage for this. This past Sunday (this show is airing on Wednesday which was the tradition back in the day) Roberts got Savage into the ring and tied him up in the ropes before pulling out a cobra. Before I go on, does that sound like some latent sexual issues or is it just me?

Anyway, Savage get bit by the cobra and they can’t get it off of him. The crowd is so into this it’s unreal. Eventually they get him out of it and Savage tries to fight back but can’t stand up because of the “venom”. In one of the absolute funniest moments I can ever remember in wrestling, Vince is FREAKING over this and actually doing a great job on the mic which is a lot more than he usually does.

However, as Savage is being put on the stretcher, we cut to a kid in the audience crying and Vince absolutely loses it. He’s cracking up and since Piper ran to the ring to help Savage, there’s no one to bail him out here. It’s just great as he’s trying to stay serious but just can’t do it because he’s holding back laughter.

I guarantee that whoever did that cut was fired. I can’t imagine they weren’t. So anyway, after all that (they showed the entire segment which was about 4 minutes long), we go to Jack Tunney who says that this is his fault and he’s to blame for what Jake did.

Now we get to the big part: Savage will not be allowed to wrestle tonight, and Jake has been pulled from his match as well. HOWEVER, Savage is reinstated and will face Roberts at ANOTHER PPV called Tuesday in Texas, SIX FUCKING DAYS AFTER THIS SHOW. Remember, the incident that they’re referencing was three days prior to this. They’re changing the main event three days before the show so that they can hook in more PPV buys for ANOTHER show six days after it. That my friends is bullshit.

I’m sorry but that just doesn’t work. The fans are already paying 30 dollars for this show and they don’t get the real main event out of it? Bullshit. Instead Vince says for only 20 dollars more you can see the main event that you paid for here. I get that Vince was running low on money at this point, but there comes a point where you’re just screwing the fan too much. This is stupid on all levels. If you want to do this, give the people more than 72 hours notice.

How many people do you think might have missed Superstars and not known about this until after the show had started and their money had been paid? Again, that’s bullshit. I’m legit pissed off again over this, with the only thing that’s keeping me calm being Tunney’s licking of his lips in this promo. It’s just weird looking. He looks like he’s getting ready to eat an ice cream cone or something. This whole segment was just designed to piss off fans.

But hey! In six days, you can pay us MORE money to see this match, so make sure you order the other show. Gorilla and Bobby plug the show even more before we start our first match, 6 minutes into the show. Ok make that 7.

Roddy Piper’s Team vs. Ric Flair’s Team

Piper: Bret Hart, Virgil, Davey Boy Smith
Flair: Ted DiBiase, Warlord, Mountie

The feuds actually match up here as Piper and Flair were feuding, DiBiase and Virgil had just finished feuding, Hart and the Mountie would clash over the IC belt in a few weeks and Smith and Warlord were arguing over who was stronger. Wow a match that actually works out well in that area. I don’t know what to say. Sherri is with DiBiase here.

Actually, all four heels have managers, with (going in order listed above) Mr. Perfect, Sherri, Harvey Whippleman and Jimmy Hart. They can’t stay at ringside though. Flair is out now with a censored belt. Ok so this deserves an in depth explanation as well I guess. Back in the 80s, wrestling was based on the territory system as you likely know. Most companies were part of the NWA but all had their own champions and talent (think of it like the NCAA with its conferences).

However, there was still an NWA world champion that went around the country defending his title everywhere. This you likely know or have at least heard of. Now like I said, there were all kinds of territories. One guy in the south started to buy a bunch of them and join them into a superterriory.

This man’s name was Jim Crockett who you’ve likely heard of. He turned it into what you now know as WCW, but it wasn’t known as that at the time. Anyway, he tried to go to war with Vince but just didn’t have the money to do it. He eventually sold to Ted Turner, who changed the name to World Championship Wrestling.

Turner slowly started to fade away from the NWA stuff as he and Crockett had realized the same thing: WCW was the NWA at this point. He owned all the talent and the NWA championship (the big gold belt was made by Crockett for Flair. Before that they had used a different one.) Now at the time, Flair was still the NWA champion, but was also the WCW champion.

This was represented by the same belt though, as more or less it was the same title but officially it wasn’t. It’s very complicated no matter how you look at it so if that doesn’t make sense to you, don’t be surprised. So Turner brought in a bunch of people that had no freaking clue how to run a wrestling company, with the main one being Jim Herd. Herd looked at Flair and thought that he was washed up and past his prime.

This was bullshit as well since Flair was not only world champion but the top draw still. Herd thought the Nature Boy gimmick was stupid and wanted to change Flair into, and I’m not making this up, a bald gladiator. Yes, he wanted to drop one of the most famous gimmicks in history to make him a stupid character.

As Kevin Sullivan put it, “after we change Flair’s gimmick, let’s go change Babe Ruth’s number.” Flair, having a brain, told Herd that this wasn’t going to work. Herd, being the idiot that he was, decided he knew more wrestling than Flair and told him that Flair would do it or be fired.

Now this is where Flair had him. Since, like everyone that knew what they were talking about, Flair knew that he could walk straight into the WWF and be launched right to the top of the show, he didn’t back down. Herd fired him and Vince got a nice big present called Ric Flair just handed to him. Now let’s get to the interesting part. When he was fired, Flair was still WCW and NWA champion.

Yes, Herd was dumb enough to fire him BEFORE changing the title. See what kind of idiot he was? He was stripped of the WCW Title which was then put in a match between Luger and Barry Windham, which was booed out of the building with chants of WE WANT FLAIR! The winner didn’t matter, because no one was going to take them seriously as champion, and why should they have? They never beat Flair for the title so they were in essence fighting for the number one contender spot.

No one bought it and the title was hurt badly for the next year and a half since instead of watching fake champions, they turned the channel to USA to see how the real WCW champion did in the WWF. Now the REAL interesting part lies in the NWA title. Like I said, Flair held both titles which were represented by the same belt.

The NWA had a policy for its world champions: you win the title, you pay 25,000 dollars as a deposit on it. The deal was done to prevent people from showing up in other companies with the title. In other words, you rented it. Once you lost the belt you got the money back with interest on it.

Now that’s fine and good. Flair paid the deposit and all was well and good. However, once he was fired from WCW he was stripped of the belt and was told to return it to the NWA. Flair said he’d be glad to do it as soon as he was given his money back. Problem: the NWA didn’t have it. Flair says well then you don’t have a belt either. He took it to Vince and used it in a gimmick, calling himself the REAL world’s champion.

The NWA panicked since there was no way they could let this happen. They took Flair to court over it and were laughed out of the room since they had absolutely no case. They made a deal with Flair and weren’t living up to their end of it. Therefore, there was nothing they could do to keep Flair from using the title on WWF TV. It was his property so he could do whatever he wanted with it.

Eventually Flair went back to WCW and let them use the belt after they paid him what he was owed. The big gold belt became the WCW Title and the rest is history. WCW left the NWA in about 1993 and the NWA tried to revive itself with a tournament in Philadelphia. I think you know what happened there.

Anyway, the point of this was that during this time, the NWA got a temporary injunction against Flair to keep him from using the big gold belt but the angle kept going anyway with other belts being used in its place. Tonight it’s a tag title, which is blacked out but at times you can see the edges of it. How weird would that have been? Flair is just standing there holding up one of the tag titles. Oh yeah we’ve got a match to do too. Let’s get to it.

Hart’s pop is INSANE. They knew what they had here and that would be made apparent as next year at this time he would be world champion. We start off with DiBiase vs. Piper. That’s a very interesting match that I don’t think ever had a big time feud. They of course have a great match here as my amazement never ends as to how DiBiase never got a title run. They of course have a great mini-match here since they’re both awesome.

Sherri comes in for interference but it of course backfires since Piper was practically a main eventer and such things don’t bother him at all. Now we get Virgil, who for some reason gets a pop. This is even more reason for me to hate what they’re pulling tonight. The crowd is white hot, so instead of giving them a big match, let’s give it to people in a week. Yeah that’s very good work there guys. Way to support your fans.

The face team spends about three minutes just killing DiBiase with all three guys getting in a lot of work on him. Finally he gets out and we get Flair vs. Hart. Even back then we knew it was something special. Bret was so on at this time that it’s unbelievable. The Heenan cheering for Flair is just funny stuff. Now the faces take their turns beating up on Flair. About 5 minutes straight is just faces beating on DiBiase and Flair.

Despite that, this is very entertaining either way as both guys are big time heels so the beatings work well and the crowd is WAY into this. Piper comes in to beat up Flair some and it’s so loud you can barely hear much. He finally gets out and we have Warlord and Bulldog in a test of strength. Due to some expected heel cheating, Bulldog is in trouble now as the Mountie continues to crack me up with how completely over the top he is with his gimmick. It’s so ridiculously insane that it’s greatness.

We get a funny bit as we see Jimmy in the back PANICKING since he can’t be out there with the Mountie. Managers really are a lost art indeed today. They’re something that can really enhance a character yet for some reason they’re never used anymore. I don’t get that. Being a manager requires two things: being able to talk and being able to take a beating once in awhile. Seriously, is that something that sounds next to impossible or next to that difficult even? I don’t get it.

It’s just not that hard to me, at least in theory. Instead we get people like Santino and Abraham Washington. Why not make one of them a manager? Nope, instead everything has to be about comedy instead of enhancing a character. Yep, you have to love that.

Bret comes in so Mountie bails as fast as he can, giving us Bret vs. DiBiase again so I can’t complain. Smith comes in after about 8 seconds of this as Mountie is tagged in. It’s brawl time and note: Gorilla says that the legal men are Flair and Smith, which would be wrong. Anyway, Smith hits the powerslam on Mountie but Flair goes to the tope and hits a double axe handle shot to the back of Davey’s head.

He rolls him over and pins him as Gorilla is freaking out about how Flair wasn’t legal, despite him saying that he was not 20 seconds before this. I love the confusion that is Gorilla Monsoon a lot of the time. Piper immediately runs in to beat on Flair, despite him not being legal in the match but who cares about something stupid like legality? All four people beat on Piper for a bit as the fans are still way into this match. That’s a good sign that after about eleven minutes we’re still this into a match.

Piper puts the figure four on Flair to a HUGE pop. Virgil comes in to fight Mountie who is terrified of him. For some reason, no one wants to fight Virgil. Why not? The guy just wasn’t that big of a deal. All that mattered in his career was that he beat DiBiase one time. That’s all anyone ever actually cared about and it was indeed a cool moment. However, once that angle ended, which it had by this point since DiBiase got the belt back, he was just Virgil, a bald guy that threw decent punches.

There’s just nothing really to market there and it turned into nothing at all because there was just nothing they could do with him at this point. It’s the quintessential difference between having a gimmick and being a character. A gimmick is something like Repo Man. He was something that you could throw in with anyone at all and the gimmick would work fine. John Cena is a character. He’s just a man that goes out there and wrestles really well.

There’s more depth to him, but it’s harder to put him with someone because you have to build something up with him. Also, it takes away from the creativity of the storylines with him as you can’t really do much other than have it be about respect or a challenge or so and so wants the title etc. It leads to some very boring and generic storylines.

There’s no right or wrong answer about what’s better, but for someone like Virgil with limited skills and charisma, a gimmick would have worked much better for him. The same holds true for Cena as a gimmick would be awful for him. It’s usually the bigger a star you are, the less you need a gimmick. He and Flair go at it for a bit and as usual, Flair loses at first only to make his comeback and look dominant.

A lot of people say that Flair’s style is boring. I disagree. Yes, he does the same stuff a lot of the time, but how many truly bad Flair matches can you remember, and I’m not talking about when he was all old and likely not legally considered alive. I’m talking about when he was in shape and not old. Think about it: the guy had good matches because he had a formula.

Flair gets beaten on, he makes a small comeback, gets beaten on again, makes a big comeback, goes for the leg, gets the figure four, the face gets to the ropes, and then the finish. The matches worked though and that’s all that mattered. Then you would get idiots like Dusty Rhodes who of course just couldn’t do things the intelligent way and had to have his style of match with Flair, which made them a lot worse.

Those aren’t Flair’s fault. Dusty is to be blamed for those since he’s the one that fucked them up by having to wrestle his horrible style. Damn I’m going on a lot of tangents here. Anyway, Hart does the nice thing and throws Virgil back in to get beaten on some more.

Full nelson goes on but Bret breaks it up to let Piper pin Warlord in the exact same thing that got rid of Bulldog. Well played Hitman. Everybody beats on DiBiase a bit more, with even Virgil getting in some solid stuff. Flair however just ends that as he becomes my hero. Heenan is singing Flair’s praises which never gets old as he even threatens to have Gorilla thrown out. The response of silence is just funny.

Virgil gets beaten on for about three minutes to set up the ending that I hate. He gets DiBiase down and heads for the corner. Both Piper and Flair come in for a big fight, but then the other four come in. Flair gets knocked to the floor and we have a big brawl. Then to end the match, 5 people are disqualified except for Flair because he was on the floor, making him the sole survivor. I get that they wanted to push Flair, but this match was so awesome up to this point that I wanted to see them go longer.

It’s not like they were short on time. Later on the tag team match gets twenty minutes. You could have given this another ten and it would have been fine, but then again, I’m no professional.

Rating: A-. This match was awesome. The crowd was way into it, the wrestlers were all on fire, the feuds made perfect sense, the pacing was good, and then the ending fucked all that up. Yeah here the main issue is the ending, which was just flat out bad. It put Flair over which was the point of the match, but I wish there was another way they could have done it. Either way, this was a very fun and entertaining match. Now if only the rest of the show is this good, which I doubt.

Savage and Liz say to buy Tuesday In Texas. Fuck you both. Actually no, just fuck Vince and his greedy ass.

Team Slaughter vs. Team Mustafa

Slaughter, Duggan, Texas Tornado, Tito Santana
Colonel Mustafa, Berzerker, Skinner, Hercules

Oh this is going to be bad. It’s like the 80s died and this is the corpse. Basically, it’s America vs. not America here, with Mustafa being more commonly known as Iron Sheik. He had managed Slaughter during his heel run but now Slaughter is red white and blue again so all is fine and dandy. Duggan makes sense to be there, Tornado and Santana are midcard faces. Berzerker, Skinner and Hercules…eh they’re just there to fill in the dates their contracts say they have to work.

Yeah this is going to be pretty bad. Look at the face team. It’s a former world champion, a former NWA champion, a two time IC champion, and Duggan who was always in the upper midcard. They’re against a guy that used to be world champion but that’s not mentioned here and three career jobbers. Yeah this is going to go GREAT. I love how Slaughter can go so evil and then in just a few months he’s a beloved face again. Yeah it’s stupider than it sounds.

The most entertaining part about this match is Gorilla and Heenan arguing. You can tell they’re fairly bored out there and I can’t blame them at all. This match is just boring as hell. There’s no point to it, there’s no reason to want to watch it, and there’s nothing of interest going on. You can tell this was just thrown together and that’s never a good thing. I don’t care about seeing these people fight because they’re just beating on each other with no particular rhyme or reason.

Heenan says some lines about Middle Eastern people that are borderline racist but not quite. Now we get to the best part of the match: the part where the bookers thought it was ok to have Sheik in there for over two minutes straight. Seriously, why? The guy can barely move and he’s going to carry the match? Yeah I think you’re getting why I hate this fucker. They fill in the void by talking about the Taker vs. Hogan match which is fan better and more interesting.

Sheik gets pinned by a Slaughter clothesline that wasn’t anything special at all. Yeah, this might be the worst Survivor Series match of all time. It’s just flat out boring in all aspects. After about 5 minutes since Sheik got beaten, the other three heels are dispatched in less than two minutes total. Duggan dances around like this is a big deal. Apparently he was captain?

Rating: F. This was just awful. It wasn’t interesting, there was no story, the winners were never once in doubt, and it was just not any good. This was just completely pointless on all levels and was just there to fill in about 20 minutes counting the introductions. Egads what a horrible match.

The winning team walks down the hallway and says they can’t wait to see this match on video. Yeah that wasn’t pointless at all.

Jake Roberts says you should buy Tuesday in Texas. Somehow this takes five minutes to say.

We recap Hogan vs. Taker. They don’t mention how he got the title shot, but they make it obvious that Flair is going to be involved in this. On the Funeral Parlor, Taker’s segment, Flair confronted Hogan which led to Taker beating him down with the urn. Savage and Piper ran out to help him and couldn’t really do anything.

Savage hits Taker with the chair but Taker just knocks it away. That was awesome. Also, Taker rips the cross off the neck of Hogan, which is a direct homage to Andre 4 years prior to this. Taker was billed as undefeated here, despite having lost a bunch of matches to Warrior.

WWF Title: Undertaker vs. Hulk Hogan

So this is the first non Survivor Series match in the history of the show, which I think was what was needed. Since it’s the main event, of course it’s the shortest match on the show. We could have a problem here though as neither guy is going to sell shit here. Gorilla tries to convince us that they’re the same size. That’s just amusing. He goes on to say that Hogan has quickness and agility. I’m sorry but that’s just hilarious.

Hogan looks scared to death which is awesome. Bearer of course gets in his shots as Taker is in control. You have to remember that he’s only been around about a year at this point. This would be like Cena vs. Swagger in the main event of a major PPV for the title. Apparently it’s a big deal that Hogan can’t slam Taker despite him hitting Hogan as he goes up. Yeah that’s not a big deal at all. Taker gets clotheslined over the ropes and lands on his feet.

That’s always a cool looking spot and it makes it look like the move did nothing at all. The never ending debate about what’s in the urn continues. Was that ever answered? Taker’s tattoos interest me. Given his gimmick, what must that day in the tattoo place have been like?

Gorilla is of course freaking out over Bearer as Heenan says his monitor keeps kicking in and out. Monsoon says he’s going to start kicking Heenan in and out in a bit. Those two are just great together. There’s a Hogan lookalike at ringside who is leading cheers. It’s really quite amusing. Taker uses a smother on Hogan. That’s an interesting move as he just covers Hogan’s face with his hand.

That’s both good and bad as it looks a lot more effective than some moves do, while at the same time really being nothing at all. Heenan naturally can’t hear Monsoon, which is odd as he has that big headset on. Ok the smother doesn’t need to go on for two minutes. Taker does the eye roll that never gets old. Hogan makes his comeback but after more interference he takes a tombstone. Naturally he pops right up and starts his finishing sequence.

Bearer’s reaction to Hogan popping up is just great. As he goes for the legdrop, Flair comes out and touches his belt. Hogan, feeling a sense of animalistic pride, goes out and stops him. He puts Taker down again and goes for the leg but Bearer grabs him.

As he’s got the referee, Flair puts in a chair and Taker tombstones him on it for the title to more or less kill Hulkamania. Taker’s slow walk to the back with the belt is nothing short of greatness. Also, if Hogan isn’t legit hurt here, he needs an acting award. He looks completely gone.

Rating: C-. Again, this is a match where the historical aspect far outweighs the wrestling that you saw on display. Hogan losing at this point was a big deal, but he was getting very little reaction in this match. His time had simply gone by this point and it wasn’t working anymore.

That’s all fine and good, so Vince decided to take a BIG gamble and have him lose here. There would be a rematch in 6 days, but Hogan would only hold the title for a few days before it was declared vacant with the winner of the Rumble getting it. Hogan wouldn’t hold it again for over a year.

All the faces say they’re going to win.

All the heels say they’re going to win.

Tunney announces the rematch with Hogan and Taker for next Tuesday. Yep, it’s only 20 dollars and you get two main events, which you were supposed to get tonight, but fuck that idea.

Nasty Boys/Beverly Brothers vs. Bushwackers/Rockers

The Rockers are on the verge of splitting up at this point with the Barber Shop happening in just under two months. As for the other three teams, they’re just there. Yes, this is the match that gets over 20 minutes and is the longest of the night. What in the hell was Vince on tonight? This makes tonight even more of a slap in the face of the fans as we get 23 minutes of this and no Savage/Roberts.

Yeah that’s just great Vince, thanks for screwing over every person that pair their money to see this match. The Rockers are just ungodly over here, so of course they were being split up. We start off with Butch and Knobbs. Gorilla says no one knows more about surviving than the Bushwackers. Um, what? They do their comedy act as I can’t believe they still had jobs at this point. Somehow they would last until 1994.

Yep, no one cares about this match at all, but since the theme of the night seems to be how can we fuck the audience over even more than we have earlier on in the night, it of course goes on and on and on. Luke, who once licked my at a house show, is gone fairly early due to a Brian Knobbs flying clothesline. Yep, that’s the kind of match that this is going to be: the kind where a flying clothesline that more or less sucked can get an elimination.

Can’t you tell how excited I am to be reviewing this match AGAIN? Oh I’m in heaven here people! Anyway, Marty comes in then and is looking either confused as hell or stoned out of his mind. It’s likely both. Heenan, being as bored as ever, starts an argument with himself.

Heenan goes on to say that had Hogan not gone after Flair he would have won, which is likely correct. After more bad offense from both teams, Butch is put out following a weird double team move. It was supposed to start with a backdrop and end with a facebuster, but instead it looked like a bad botch. It was kind of like a 3D but nowhere near as cool looking or effective.

I think the Beverlies were supposed to be rich guys but I’m not sure. We’re down to Rockers vs. all four. Shawn starts getting his ass handed to him as I’m sure Becca would love to steal it but that’s a different story. After getting beaten on forever, Shawn hooks a quick backslide and pins Beau. So now it’s Marty’s turn to get beaten up on for a good while as still nothing happens. We’re nearly 20 minutes into this and Marty puts on an armbar.

Yeah and you wonder why Shawn was given the big push. Shawn gets the tag leading to all five guys being in there at once. During this, Marty slams Sags but his feet hit Shawn in the face to let him get rolled up for the pin. Shawn is PISSED. He looks like he’s about to kill Marty but it doesn’t happen and Shawn goes to the back to leave it at three on one.

Jannetty fights as much as he can but even after some cool looking spots, he goes out to a bad small package. Seriously, it just looked awful. Marty’s shoulder was up and yet he got counted down anyway. It was just bad on all levels.

Rating: D. This was just BORING. Look at the opening match and then look at this one. The first one was a minute shorter yet I had FAR more to say about it. This was just boring and it’s a great example of how two matches can be completely different. The first one was interesting, sharp and fun. This was long, boring and sloppy. Granted it could be more about a lack of talent in this one but I digress.

This was just not good and there was absolutely NO need to give this nearly 25 minutes. You had a kick ass match to open the show that would have been an A+ had it been given a few more minutes. The world title match could have used another 2-3 minutes. Yeah I know I say that a lot and in most cases there just isn’t enough time to go around. In this case, there should have been all kinds of time to go around but instead it got wasted here. That’s inexcusable.

With nothing else to say or do, it’s main event time.

Legion of Doom/Big Boss Man vs. IRS/Natural Disasters

Yep, this is the main event. Even at a house show this is a weak match, but here at the “Let’s screw the fans show”, it’s the main event. Apparently this was supposed to be Sid on the face team and Roberts on the heel team. Sid got hurt so they were going to put Savage in, but due to the move on Sunday, which means Vince’s greed, he got pulled and they took off Roberts too, since IRS is FAR ahead of Roberts on the company totem pole.

Anyway, IRS and Boss Man start, despite having no animosity at this point in time. LOD and the Disasters were feuding, but other than that, there’s little point to this. I really want this to end soon. Nope, apparently we’re in for the long match here as it’s generic offense all around to start. Yep, again, no one really cares about this match because we haven’t been given a reason to care.

The announcers clearly aren’t interested in the match at all as they bicker. Rule of thumb: the more bickering you hear between the announcers, the more bored they are. Finally after five minutes of people hitting each other and doing shoulder blocks, we get something interesting as Boss Man has IRS in trouble but he gets a metal briefcase to the head and is pinned. Unfortunately this messes up Gorilla’s rant about how Flair stole the title from Hogan.

Also, apparently there has to be something in the briefcase because it being made of metal isn’t enough to knock out Boss Man. Yeah that makes sense. So now it’s LOD against the three of them. Since they’re the tag champions at the moment, I doubt they’ll lose. As I say this, we get the fourth plug for Tuesday in Texas. We get it already guys.

Vince wants our money and if we want to see the big matches we were promised we have to pay another 20 dollars next week. As if we haven’t had enough excitement in this match, it’s time for a BEARHUG. Gorilla: I think he’s wasting time with this hold. I would agree if the last word was match. IRS goes for the briefcase again but it misses and hits Typhoon in the head and eliminates him. Quake is PISSED.

He’s pissed enough that he leaves with Typhoon. So it’s IRS 1-2 with the tag team champions. What happens of course? It goes on for 6 minutes. My goodness give me a break. Finally the LOD wake up and hits a top rope clothesline to end this which Gorilla says was inevitable. See, even he knew this was how it was going to end. Hey let’s plug Texas again. Heenan says it’ll be better than tonight. It couldn’t be much worse.

Rating: D. Again, this was BORING. There was no point to this being a six man. If they wanted to just have the faces win to end the show, do the smart thing and just make this a tag team title match. A few things are accomplished by doing that. Number one, it makes the match at least seem important.

Sure the LOD would keep the belts, but at least it would have had a sense of meaning to it instead of just a random match like this. Second, it would have been far more logical than this. Anyway, this was just bad and boring, but the faces won and the fans went home happy, so that’s good I guess.

Gene is in the catacombs of the arena. Joe Louis Arena has catacombs? Cool? Anyway, Bearer says that Hulkamania died tonight and plugs Texas to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. And that’s being generous. The first match on this show was awesome. It goes downhill fast. I don’t know what the hell they were thinking on this show. Wait, yes I do. The fans will buy one PPV. That means they’ll but a second. Seriously, this was sickening to see from the WWF. There’s no call for pulling the big match three days before the show just to have a one on one match six days later. I’m sorry but that’s not right.

Also, it was a Survivor Series match tonight. How hard would it have been to have them in there but just have them do a double count out with Jake running away or a double DQ or something like that? You give the people what they paid to see, you tease them with the big match just a bit more, and THEN you put the big match on the card in six days. That’s fine with me, but don’t advertise this as being the big match between Randy and Jake and then not have it.

Let them have their quick thing here and then let them do the match Tuesday. That’s all well and good. Other than that, this historic moment with Taker winning his first title mixed with a kick ass opening match isn’t enough to make this work anything though, so it’s not recommended at all. The first match is worth seeing though.
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  #29  
Old 11-04-2009, 11:07 PM
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Once again I have to agree with you KB. This was not a very good show. Thatís the fourth time in a row that Iím saying that as I sadly realize the early Survivor Series shows were just really boring. I was ok with that as a kid since it was still special to see a show with all the stars together. The early shows just donít hold up over time.

Although the show was pretty bad, I love the opening match. In my match of the month thread I stated that this was my favorite Survivor Series elimination match of all time. There was a lot of talent involved and everyone matched up really well. This match had some great action. Itís just too bad they went with that lame ending. Did they not want any of those guys to get pinned? Whatís wrong with Dibiase pinning Virgil? Bret and Mountie could do a double count out. I donít see any harm in Piper pinning Dibiase. Then Flair can get a cheap pin on Piper by using the ropes or something. Plus like you say KB we could have gotten more action out of a good match instead of so much time in the lame matches later. I will say the ending was kind of funny with everyone being disqualified except Flair. The only reason he wasnít in the ring brawling is because he got knocked outside. For this he was rewarded with the victory. It was funny, but a more normal finish would have been better.

I think the next match was probably the biggest lackluster match in the eventís history to that point. The only thing relevant to a story here was Slaughter was a good guy again and teaming with Duggan. Duggan so willingly forgave Slaughter as if nothing happened, but I guess thatís wrestling for you. There were a few substitutions in this match. Slaughter wasnít even originally on the team. With Dugganís forgiveness he took the place of the departing Ricky Steamboat. Oops, I mean The Dragon as the WWF was not even acknowledging his name or history with the company in 1991. Wasted opportunity, especially with Flair coming in. So the only thing that was slightly relevant as a storyline wasnít even the original plan for this match. Also Jim Neidhart was originally on this team. A week or two before Survivor Series he wrestled Flair and Flair injured his knee with the figure fore. Iím not sure if the Anvil had a legit injury or not. Iím also not sure if Santana or Tornado was the substitute. I think it was Santana as he had been off tv for a little while as he was being repackaged as El Matador. The heels had a sub too. Big Bully Busick was originally announced on this team. Anyone remember him? Anyone? He was Harvey Whipplemanís first guy in the WWF and he lasted all of a month. Hercules was the replacement. I have spent far too much time typing about one of the lamest Survivor Series matches ever so Iíll move on.

I real like the build of the title match going into the event. Itís mostly because I didnít know who was going to win, which is a good thing. I was young and still liked Hogan, but I wasnít sure how he was going to beat the Undertaker. I guess I kind of assumed Hogan would win because heís Hogan, but I just wasnít sure. Well as it turns out I wasnít sure because it didnít happen. This was a great match for hype and historical significance, but it was weak on actual in ring action. Still it had a big match feel to it and it didnít suck, so the good makes up for the bad.

The next match didnít have any real build to it. I donít recall any of the teams being involved in a feud. Normally that wouldnít bother me too much, but there was too much time given to this match for no real feud going on. The only real story here was the dissention between the Rockers. For some reason I donít remember a problem between the two this early. If not for this event I would have assumed there problems started right before the barber shop incident. A rare memory lapse for The Brain. Anyway, this match went on way too long and it was obvious nobody cared.

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Originally Posted by klunderbunker View Post
Thereís no call for pulling the big match three days before the show just to have a one on one match six days later. Iím sorry but thatís not right. Also, it was a Survivor Series match tonight. How hard would it have been to have them in there but just have them do a double count out with Jake running away or a double DQ or something like that? You give the people what they paid to see, you tease them with the big match just a bit more, and THEN you put the big match on the card in six days. Thatís fine with me, but donít advertise this as being the big match between Randy and Jake and then not have it. Let them have their quick thing here and then let them do the match Tuesday. Thatís all well and good.
I agree 100% here. There was absolutely no reason Savage and Jake couldnít have been a part of this match. It would have made the match immensely better. There would have been eight people involved. Savage and Jake wouldnít even need to touch each other for more than a minute or two. I have no problem with the Tuesday in Texas match. Putting these two in Survivor Series wouldnít have taken away from that. It would have added to it. Instead we got another boring match that nobody cared about.

Overall it was another weak show. Most of the matches were boring. I like Hogan vs. Taker for its uniqueness and I love the opening match. Unfortunately the bad outweighed the good. If the other three matches were at least decent it could have been a good show. Unfortunately they werenít even decent. They were just boring and held the overall show down.
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  #30  
Old 11-05-2009, 12:19 AM
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That was a great review, KB. I especially liked the history of the NWA title at that point, as I only ever got the ECW end of it, and they obviously didn't go too much into the history of what happened. Sadly, it gives me a whole new love for what Shane did. Makes him that much more badass.

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