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Old 03-04-2018, 11:21 PM
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Rainbow Yaz Rainbow Yaz is offline
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Told Lee I would get this up a couple days ago. Not as detailed as my Unscripted review, but I hope it helps.

Meltdown 148

Opening the show with the Mayhem Title is a nice call. Guys in the WHC scene or long term members often get this spot, so giving the lower card guys a shout is nice. The segment was much too short for an opening though. Becky speaks, we get all Mayhem guys in the ring to speak a single sentence, and then its over. We don't need twenty minute McMahon segments, but you need more substance than what was here.

The triple threat had highs and lows for me. The commentary during the entrances was solid, it gave you a little insight into the character and their recent history. Cohen did call him Seabass a lot though. One issue I had was that in the entrances, the song playing was mentioned. Since we post the YT video of the theme, listing the name of the song is redundant. Also, I like when there is something to signal the start of the match. The standard *ding ding* is all you need. The content of the match was okay for an opening match. The move to move to move with no real story isn't really a good read, but in a triple threat curtain jerking match, it is passable. I'd suggest more action in each paragraph, each was 3-5 lines. Also, each pin attempt doesn't need to be written like -

As soon as she hits the move she quickly goes for the pin

1..2

Vee kicks out as soon as the ref counts two. Unless it is a dramatic moment, it flows much better if you write *move sequence* 1....2...kick out *move sequence*

The Lynx/Tastic segment was fine, but why is Josh Browning getting so many mentions? He is a character NPC, not an official NPC. There is no need for character NPCs with so much mystery around them getting on shows.

The next match, the Vox entrance was okay, and the Callie bit with the ripped sign was fine, but what even was that commentary? It was borderline racist on Cohen's part. Also Copeland is super professional, he shoudln't be laughing at jokes by Cohen. At least he admonished Cohen over the African child quip. Time to donate a loss to Vox and Callie! That might be the worst line I have ever heard.

Action wise, thanks for the bell ringing to start. I also liked the little bit before the bell, with the teams having a quick chat. The story with Tastic and Lynx being at odds was good, it added to the match. Don't write like this though -

Quote:
Lynx jumps in the air, he twists and flips into a phoenix splash right on Callie! ……

1….

2…..

Callie kicks out!
Unless there has been a sweeping change since I left, the matches were written *moves, pin* 1....2....kick out *moves*

That aside, I liked this match. The animosity between the four told a fine enough story.

I liked the gist of the Triple X interview. It did a good job of painting Triple X as a dick, but, Ace should have been given more credit. He was a fine Mayhem Champ in his original run.

Who the hell fed him that line?. One of the better Ace intros ever. The Triple X intro did that redundant thing I mentioned earlier. Content wise, the match was good, the finish was good. I just can't get over the way the pinfalls have been written each match so far. On a similar note, countouts. I prefer this-

1....2....3....

*Line of guy crawling*

4....5....

*Commentary*

To me that flows better than what was done here.

The Studd/Vox segment was fine, but I feel like at some point Vox is going to need to be given something big or stop being given segments. None of the segments he is in mean anything in the long run. They are fine segments that usually work with their character, but I'd rather segments mean something as opposed to throwing guys on TV just to give them TV time.

The Mayhem match was weird. War Zone fucked off, but the finish came so suddenly. Something about Mancini stealing the win off of Studd's finish works, but I hope the LL match ramps it up.

I will have Ascension soon.
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