Next Week's Impact Should Be A Musical Edition

[Mr. J. O'Material]

Yeah, I said it. You read that right; next week's edition of Impact Wrestling should bring us the first ever musical episode of professional wrestling!

This weeks Impact was everything right about professional wrestling; it had pretty good matches, larger than life characters that entertain, and interesting conflict and drama. Even Aces & 8's, who I've been less than thrilled about, didn't seem all that bad.

And then... Then the last fifteen minutes were sublime television. Absolutely sublime. Fuck off if you expect to take that last fifteen minutes as super cereal... Even if everyone was trying to play it straight, it was such brilliant absurdist television, that I didn't give two squirts of piss, it was just fun. Hulk was hilarious to watch, Bully was awesome in his role, Sting was... There, and Brooke was actually pretty good, too. It's going to lead to perhaps the goofiest wrestling wedding to come down the pike since Uncle Elmer and Joyce.

Wrestling weddings are always wacky television, as they should be. Randy Savage and Elizabeth getting married at Summerslam? Fuck off with that nonsense; I would watch Teddy and Krystal getting married, with Teddy having his heart attack, a thousand times before I watch Macho Man's wedding. Besides, those scaldy fucks separated a year later earlier. Wrestling weddings are supposed to be wacky little affairs, and if you take them seriously, you're more than likely a waste of sperm. Which is why Bully, Brooke, and Impact Wrestling have to go all the way; next week, it has to be a musical edition of Impact Wrestling.

Everyone gets a song. After all, Brooke is a former singer, is she not? Fuck off with if everyone is a good singer, they're not going to be. Hulk singing would be absolutely incredible. Fuck, even give Aces & 8's a song, talking about how they're going to ruin the ending. We all know how this is going to wind up anyway, someone's turning on someone, so you can all singing about the same things. Get everyone involved... Have Daniels and Kaz play the role of The Thenadiers, have Austin Aries play the role of the guy that started it all... fuck, maybe make him a narrator of sorts. You can have matches, after all, not all musicals are all singing. But please, please let this happen

This whole thing has been absurdly fun, and at the end of the day, wrestling is all about your audience having a lot of fun.And I can guarantee you, a musical edition of Impact will be more fun than any wrestling show for the rest of the year. End this angle with a bang; make next week's Impact a musical

Let these wrestlers sing
It will be the best Brooke sounds
In her whole career

[Mr. J. O'Material]

You do realize that Wrestling, if nothing else, is nothing more than staged theater, right?

Tell me, what wouldn't be fun about watching Hulk Hogan and Bully Ray singing. This is an angle that the more ridiculous it gets, the better. TNA's writers have proven quite accomplished at scripting comedy; imagine now those same characters, now getting to sing?

Buys, I tell you. Many, many buys

[shattered dreams]

I don't want Jillian in TNA.

At least someone gets it for once. TNA does these stories that are partially serious and partially hilarious all the time. Wrestling fans seem to be confused by this dichotomy though.

[Mr. J. O'Material]

Originally Posted by shattered dreams

I don't want Jillian in TNA.

Brother, it's Dixie running the ship, not Vince. Dixie would bring in Jillian for a payday, Vince would bring her in so that she could get dry humped by The Boogeyman, take a stinkface, and whatever mean shit Vince McMahon wants to do to "have some comedy on the show".

The more I think about it, I want it all. I want choreography with Orlando Jordan and Rico leading the helm, and then I want Eric Young to come and reunite with Orlando. I want to see Kamala being wheeled out in half a tux to sing the reception song. Fuck, I even want Jay Lethal to have a cameo, before he fucks off to being unemployed being in ROH

At least someone gets it for once. TNA does these stories that are partially serious and partially hilarious all the time. Wrestling fans seem to be confused by this dichotomy though.

Silly SD... When Chris Benoit killed his family, he killed all hopes and dreams of having fun in professional wrestling

[thebarber]

no no no no no.

This wedding is going to be a typical fucking TNA shambles. Obviously Brooke will already be married by the time this happens, ala Test/Steph/HHH, more than likely to a member of the Aces and 8s who could possibly be revealed to be the leader of A&8s

[The Dragon Saga]

Originally Posted by shattered dreams

At least someone gets it for once. TNA does these stories that are partially serious and partially hilarious all the time. Wrestling fans seem to be confused by this dichotomy though.

It's the norm for the common wrestling fan. Unless it fits into their image of what wrestling should be, they reject it.

And I agree entirely with the opening post. IW was so good last night I didn't take part in the LD and I only Tweeted on the show twice. If you don't find the following image glorious, I hope you contract Lou Gherig's disease.

Click for Spoiler:

[George Steele's Barber]

Bully has a little ring, little ring, little ring
Bully has a little ring
He's giving to Hulk's skank

It made the smarks roll their eyes, roll their eyes, roll their eyes
It made the smarks roll their eyes
Because that against their code

Didn't Buffy the Vampire Slayer do an opera episode?

This might be pushing things too far but it would still be enjoyable and I'd actually watch a full episode for the first time in years. Maybe they can take it a step back and create a character that sings everything he says (hello Health Slater) or Hogan uses his GM power to force them to sing everything.

Anyway, I like it.

[bxbigshow]

Simply for the effing absurdity of it all I say why not!

It's been a long time coming for WWE/TNA to add some goofiness to it's shows. And I'm not talking Santino/Zack/Muppet crap either.

But the stuff that CHIKARA does? Hypnotizing wrestlers, slow motion grenades...awesome!