12-24-2012, 02:45 AM
Kermit Presents: A WZCW Christmas Poem
Twas' the night before the night before Christmas, when all through the roster,
Jolly Saint Nick showed up and called the EurAsian Champion Rush an impostor.
You see Santa was a Black Dragon fan and he didn't like the way Rush ran the show,
He disliked bullies like Grand Mystique and Vega, but he had a special spot in his heart for creatures like Krypto.
Ole' Big Rush stood up to Santa with his little buddy Sam Smith,
They didn't care if this would put them on the permanent Naughty List.
"See here, see here," said Santa. "Think before you do something wrong."
Rush smiled and responded with glee, "Come now Santa, let's see who really is strong."
One by one they lined up the jibbly jobbers,
It was a Christmas punching match to see who was stronger.
Rush knocked out Beard, The Gent, and Jimmy Floon,
Santa responded by sending The New Church and Darren Bull straight to the moon.
"It's undecided!" shouted the interjecting evil elf, Isabel Stone,
Rush shouted "not so, and until this is settled, no one is going home!"
Now Santa had much work to do seeing it was Christmas' eve eve,
Santa piped up, "Tonight, we finish this off. It'll be a prime time match, it'll be you vs. me!"
Santa went off and trained with the WZCW's very best souls,
Triple X taught him flippies and Mr. Baller taught him the pick n' roll.
Kurtesy taught him submissions and Saxton taught him strikes,
Tastic taught him yoga and Saboteur taught him how to fly a kite.
Meanwhile, Rush began to get nervous inside his secret lair,
He barked at Sam Smith, "Send someone to stop him, whoever it is I don't care!"
So, Smith rounded up the scariest grinches in all of the company,
He gave them orders and told them to get bumpity!
Mere moments for the big fight, Santa fought many foes;
He impaled Strikeforce with candy canes and taught Justin Cooper the meaning of "HO HO HO".
He teamed with Runn and tangled with the nasty Alex Bowen,
Chris K.O. lent a sword against The Elite One, Steven Holmes.
Now one bounty hunter did give Ole' Santa a run for his presents,
Barbosa took down Califa, Celeste, S.H.I.T. and snapped the neck of a pheasant.
It took the help from good old Titus to put the mad man down.
He also helped with Connor Reese before he hit the Red Comet on Alhazred and left town.
Now, the match was clear in sight, but oh no a foe draws near,
A drunken man stumbles after Santa, his name is Callahan with beer.
Showtime quickly shows up and shows off against the drunken fool,
Constantine rides in as a king to cash-in his KFAD, but he is to slow because he is on a mule.
Now the match is booked and the time has come to fight for the ship!
But first, Santa must even the odds as he bitch slaps Sam Smith.
Rush fights well, but Santa goes on to win and renames the EurAsian belt "Holiday Cheer"
The ratings plummet for this show- oh screw it: Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
"Reason is not automatic. Those who deny it cannot be conquered by it." -Ayn Rand