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Old 02-13-2017, 09:36 AM
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klunderbunker is a World Heavyweight Champion...and is being held down by Triple H...klunderbunker is a World Heavyweight Champion...and is being held down by Triple H...klunderbunker is a World Heavyweight Champion...and is being held down by Triple H...klunderbunker is a World Heavyweight Champion...and is being held down by Triple H...klunderbunker is a World Heavyweight Champion...and is being held down by Triple H...klunderbunker is a World Heavyweight Champion...and is being held down by Triple H...klunderbunker is a World Heavyweight Champion...and is being held down by Triple H...klunderbunker is a World Heavyweight Champion...and is being held down by Triple H...klunderbunker is a World Heavyweight Champion...and is being held down by Triple H...klunderbunker is a World Heavyweight Champion...and is being held down by Triple H...klunderbunker is a World Heavyweight Champion...and is being held down by Triple H...
Default Week of 2/6/2017 - 2/12/2017 (Thursday - Sunday)

Thursday

Impact Wrestling
Date: February 9, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D'Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

I have come here to watch wrestling and open briefcases and TNA is all out of briefcases. So we're past Open Fight Night and now it's time to move on to some fresh material. It's hard to say what that might mean as we're still waiting on the next taping cycle with the new creative direction to start up. Let's get to it.

We open with the Hardy Family arriving. After Matt asks Maxel why he's eating carbohydrates instead of protein (Jeff: “He is undefeated.”), it is announced that the Seven Deities will reveal all tonight.

Recap of the four briefcase matches from last week.

Here's the DCC with something to say. James Storm talks about how they always keep their promises and lists off some names they've taken out. Cue Eli Drake and Tyrus to call them out with Tyrus asking if Kingston is his Mini Me. The fight is on with all five heading to the floor and we go to a break.

DCC vs. Tyrus/Eli Drake

Joined in progress with Tyrus in control before handing it off to Drake, who gets caught in the wrong corner. That doesn't last long either though as Bram can't keep the advantage, allowing Drake and Tyrus to take turns working him over. Drake ducks the Last Call and brings Tyrus back in, only to walk away on the big man. Storm mocks the Brodus Clay dance and the trio takes Tyrus down, finishing him with the Last Call at 6:23.

Clip of Lashley vs. Eddie Edwards in a cage. Their final showdown is tonight.

Brandi Rhodes is going to call out Rosemary.

Braxton Sutter and Allie run into each other in the back. Maria comes in and yells at Allie for wasting time and sends her away. We hear about some wedding plans and Braxton has an hour to propose to Laurel Van Ness.

Here's Brandi for a chat. She gets right to the point and calls Rosemary out, which isn't exactly the biggest surprise. Cue Decay and Rosemary with the latter saying Brandi could have been amazing with them but she made the wrong decision. Brandi is quickly choked down but Moose of all people makes the save.

Aron Rex doesn't think much of Robbie E. because violence isn't the answer. Rex will make an exception tonight though.

Brandi and Moose want a mixed tag next week.

Aron Rex vs. Robbie E.

Before the match, Aron fails to get the audience to sing his name. Rex slaps him in the face to start and of course hides on the apron as a result. Back in and Robbie throws some right hands, which seem to tick Rex off. Robbie is thrown outside so Spud can choke with his coat. That fires Robbie up and Spud is pulled inside, allowing the loaded punch to knock Robbie cold for the pin at 4:54.

The Hardys are ready for an announcement.

Clip of Edwards winning the World Title.

The Wolves and their wives (Angelina Love and Alisha) are ready.

Mike Bennett gloats over the idea of Sutter marrying Laurel because it's going to make them family. Sutter leaves to do anything else.

Here are the Hardys for a chat. Matt talks about having a pre-mo-nition of the Expedition of Gold. That's why Vanguard 1 can now teleport them around the world to win Tag Team Titles wherever they want. Matt teases going to Ring of Honor (which he actually says) and WWE (stop) to win all the gold they can find. It's time to go so they touch the drone and disappear. We cut to....Tijuana, Mexico for the first attempt at winning new titles.

Grand Championship: Mahabali Shera vs. Drew Galloway

Drew is defending. An early Futureshock is broken up and Drew bails to the corner. That means a lot of stalling before Galloway slips out of what looked like a fireman's carry and goes after the leg. Some chops on the floor wrap up the round but Shera hits the Sky High just a second after the bell. Shera wins Round One but charges into a boot to the face to start Round Two. Drew chops the skin off Shera's chest, followed by the Claymore and the Futureshock to retain at 6:13.

Sutter drops a water bottle cap and goes to pick it up, which Laurel interprets as a proposal. Braxton: “That is the exact opposite of what I wanted to happen.”

Here's the Helms Dynasty with something to say. The key to a strong dynasty is to acknowledge the weak link and that has to be Andrew Everett. Andrew takes the mic and says Helms is the weak link, earning himself a double beatdown. At least that's a somewhat better way to turn someone face and it's not like taking a beating while down 2-1 makes him look horrible.

Lashley is ready.

Matt and Jeff meet fans in Tijuana and next week, the first challenge takes place.

TNA World Title: Lashley vs. Eddie Edwards

Eddie is challenging and this is his last match. Davey Richards and Eddie's wives are in the front row, meaning shenanigans are likely afoot. Eddie starts fast by knocking Lashley to the floor for a suicide dive. That earns him a spinebuster though and we take a break. Back with the champ still in control but getting knocked outside again for another suicide dive.

Lashley grabs the belt but here's Davey to take it away, allowing Eddie to get in a Blue Thunder Bomb for two. A quick Boston Knee Party should have the title won but Davey pulls the referee out. Angelina Love slaps Alisha and the distraction is enough to allow the spear to retain Lashley's title at 13:53.

Davey and Angelina beat down Eddie and Alisha to end the show.

Results
DCC b. Tyrus/Eli Drake – Last Call to Tyrus
Aron Rex b. Robbie E. – Loaded punch
Drew Galloway b. Mahabali Shera – Futureshock
Lashley b. Eddie Edwards – Spear

Friday

Nothing.

Saturday

Nothing.

Sunday

Elimination Chamber 2017
Date: February 12, 2017
Location: Talking Stick Resort Arena, Phoenix, Arizona
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, John Bradshaw Layfield, Tom Phillips, David Otunga

We're two weeks removed from the Royal Rumble and that means it's time for another pay per view. This time it's Smackdown only with the big namesake match setting up the Wrestlemania World Title match for the blue brand. The winner seems pretty obvious but that's never stopped WWE before. Let's get to it.

Pre-Show: Curt Hawkins vs. Mojo Rawley

They've been arguing online lately. Hawkins does his usual over the top pre-recorded entrance, which was really starting to grow on me before he disappeared. A right hand staggers Curt though and a three point tackle sends him outside. Hawkins sends him into the barricade and we take a break. Back with Hawkins working on the knee and getting two off a clothesline. Rawley hits his own and plants him with a huge slam, only to get poked in the eye. A Downward Spiral gives Hawkins two but Mojo keeps it simple with a running right hand in the corner. Mojo grabs a tilt-a-whirl slam for the pin at 8:01.

The opening video is all about the Chamber, which is really all it could be about.

Becky Lynch vs. Mickie James

Lynch was chasing the Women's Title when a masked woman cost her the title match. Of course it was James, who didn't think Lynch deserved to say she was part of the Women's Revolution. They lock up all the way to the floor to start with the break only coming when they have to dive back inside. Becky can't get the arm so she sends James face first into the buckle instead.

Back in and James takes her down by the arm as the limb work begins. Thankfully JBL mentions that Mickie has been wrestling around the world without being in WWE, thereby cutting off the ring rust discussion. An armbar keeps things slow and Becky's comeback is cut off by a nice takedown. A middle rope Thesz press gets two and Becky's middle rope dropkick gives her the same. The Mick Kick knocks Becky silly for two and she can't get the Disarm-Her. Instead she can grab a rollup for pin on James at 11:36.

James Ellsworth and Carmella are in a skybox and she's not happy with Lynch winning. Sounds like something starts soon.

Apollo Crews/Kalisto vs. Dolph Ziggler

Ziggler jumps Kalisto during the entrances so let's change things up to what this should have been in the first place.

Apollo Crews vs. Dolph Ziggler

Crews takes him into the corner to start but gets caught in a pair or neckbreakers. It's too early for a superkick so Ziggler elbows him in the jaw instead. We hit the chinlock as this show hasn't exactly been thrilling so far. There's Ziggler's third neckbreaker but Kalisto comes limping down to the ring. With Ziggler distracted, Crews gets in a very loud enziguri to set up the tag to Kalisto. The back is suddenly fine enough for the handspring enziguri and it's back to Crews for the toss powerbomb and the pin at 7:19.

Post match Ziggler beats them up again and Pillmanizes Crews' ankle. The fans cheer for Ziggler as Crews is taken out.

Tag Team Titles: Tag Team Turmoil

American Alpha is defending and this is basically a gauntlet match. Heath Slater/Rhyno and Breezango start things off with only the winners moving on. That process will continue until all six teams have entered. Slater and Breezango start things off as we hear about children in Bermuda having selfie sticks. It's quickly off to Rhyno to work on Breeze's shoulder as the ECW chants start up. Slater gets worked over in the corner for a bit and a rollup gets two. A blind tag brings in Rhyno though and a quick Gore gets rid of Breezango at 4:38.

The Vaudevillains are in next with Slater diving off the top to take both guys down. That's about it for the offense for now though as Slater gets taken down into the corner, only to avoid a Swanton Bomb. An inverted DDT is enough to put English away at 7:45 total. The Usos are in fourth and easily take over on the winded Slater. As Mauro refers to the Chamber as the Cell again (Mauro: “DID I DO IT AGAIN???), a pop up Samoan drop gets two on Slater. Not that it matters though as a superkick gets rid of Slater and Rhyno at 9:55.

American Alpha come in fifth and it's already time for the German suplexes. Gable gets two off a high crossbody but Jey dropkicks him down (Chad looks out of it) to take over. The slow beating continues with Gable being sent outside but a double clothesline allows the hot tag to Jordan. The Steiner Bulldog doesn't work so Chad rolls Jey up for the pin at 15:19.

That's not enough for the Usos though as they beat the heck out of the champs as the Ascension comes out last. For some reason Ascension takes forever to hit Fall of Man and Viktor doesn't bother to take Gable out, meaning a save can be made. A knee to the face gets two on Jason but Viktor is sent shoulder first into the post. The hot tag brings Gable in and a very quick Grand Amplitude retains the titles at 21:08.

We recap Nikki Bella vs. Natalya, which is over Nikki taking forever to realize Natalya attacked her at Survivor Series. Natalya then went all evil on Nikki, who apparently gained her fame because she's dating John Cena, which of course got into the whole wrestler vs. diva thing that has been going on for years now.

Natalya vs. Nikki Bella

Nikki tries a cross armbreaker to start but Natalya easily wins the wrestling portion. A kneebar goes about as well so Nikki hits a clothesline off the apron. Natalya asks for time out before driving Nikki back first (close enough) into the post. Nikki fights up again but her double clothesline doesn't do much good. We hit a long leglock on Nikki, followed by a Michinoku Driver for two.

Natalya keeps up the shouting but a forearm breaks up the Sharpshooter attempt. The Rack Attack 2.0 is broken up so Nikki gets in a spinebuster for two (not .0). Natalya gets in a superplex to put both of them down again and it's Sharpshooter time. Since Nikki is now a technical wrestler, she slips out and grabs an STF, only to have Natalya make it to the ropes. They fight outside and that means a double countout at 13:26.

Natalya punches her post match but gets speared on the ramp.

Carmella says those two are out of control and Ellsworth repeats her.

Bray says the Family will reunite.

We recap Randy Orton vs. Luke Harper. Luke got jealous of Orton getting Bray's attention and left the Family as a result. Of course that means a match.

Luke Harper vs. Randy Orton

No Bray in sight of course. They yell at each other to start and do a long lockup with Harper hitting an early shoulder. That means a trip to the floor (way too common tonight) with Luke getting the better of it, only to get knocked off the top for a big crash. Harper gets dropped over the announcers' table and it's time to hit the chinlock.

The trend of slow paced matches continue as Orton stops to do his pose in the corner. That's enough for Harper to start his comeback, including a slingshot hilo of all things, followed by a big boot for two. Orton is sent outside for the suicide shove and a drop onto the announcers' table to make up for earlier.

Back in and Orton gets in his superplex (looks as cool as ever) for two more and it's time for a slugout. The RKO doesn't work so Orton uses a full nelson slam of all things for two more. Another RKO attempt is broken up with a superkick and a second gives Harper his best near fall yet. There's a Batista Bomb for another two and it's time for the slugout from their knees. Back up and the discus lariat is countered into the RKO for the pin at 17:13.

Nikki and Natalya brawl even more with Nikki running into Maryse to send some powder flying. I'm guessing that sets up Nikki/Cena vs. Miz/Maryse.

Women's Title: Naomi vs. Alexa Bliss

Naomi is challenging after pinning Bliss in a few tag matches. Bliss has a Wonder Woman motif for her gear. Alexa spits gum at Naomi to start but gets armdragged down. That earns Naomi a hard whip into the corner with a loud crack against the turnbuckle. They trade some rollups until simultaneous kicks to the head put both of them down.

The Rear View gets two on the champ but she forearms Naomi down. Insult to Injury gets two and Alexa's snap DDT gets the same. Alexa is starting to get frustrated and that's not a good sign. Twisted Bliss hits knees though and Naomi gets in the split legged moonsault for the pin and the title in somewhat of an upset at 8:13.

Naomi thanks the fans and is glad the fans feel the glow.

Carmella is tired of being asked questions so Ellsworth throws the interviewer out.

The Chamber (now mainly square with a big WWE logo on top) is lowered.

We recap the main event, which was really just announced one week on Smackdown as a way to have Cena defend his newly won title.

Smackdown World Title: John Cena vs. AJ Styles vs. Dean Ambrose vs. The Miz vs. Baron Corbin vs. Bray Wyatt

There are five minute intervals here and Cena is defending. Cena and Styles start and I don't think anyone is going to be complaining. They take their time to start with Cena shouldering him down but Styles comes back with his torture rack into the spinning powerbomb. A Code Red gets two on AJ and Cena grabs the ProtoBomb but Dean Ambrose comes in third.

Ambrose goes right for AJ and gives him a release suplex on the cage floor outside the ring. Dean goes to the top of his pod for the elbow drop on Cena to put all three down. Cena will have none of this though and German suplexes both of them at once (Mauro: “Not a bird or a plane. It's Super Cena!”). Wyatt comes in (way before five minutes have passed) and immediately runs Cena over.

Bray throws AJ into the cage so AJ sends him into the post. Now it's Styles and Cena climbing the cage wall with John crashing down (onto the padded floor), leaving AJ to climb onto the top of the pod for a slugout with Ambrose. Bray pulls Dean down and hammers away, only to have AJ cut him off. That earns Styles a choke throw off the top of the pod but Dean powerbombs Bray down at the same time for a Tower of Doom.

Corbin comes in fifth and cleans house (as you would expect), including countering Sister Abigail by sending Bray into the pod. AJ takes the End of Days, leaving Cena to grab the STF on Baron. That's countered as well and Cena eats End of Days but rolls outside. Corbin and Ambrose throw each other into the cage wall over and over with Baron getting the better of it.

Miz comes in sixth (one of the few times, if not the only time, that everyone is legal at the same time but stays in the pod, allowing Dean to roll Corbin up for the pin at 18:42. Corbin throws Ambrose through the pod, followed by End of Days. As soon as Corbin is gone, Miz runs in and pins Ambrose at 20:46.

Miz starts doing the YES Kicks to Cena and Wyatt and hits the running corner dropkicks for good measure. Wyatt gets the Skull Crushing Finale on the floor, leaving Cena to AA Miz out at 24:33. AJ and Wyatt (up WAY too fast) double team Cena, who of course fights back and AA's Wyatt. He can't hit one on AJ though and the Styles Clash gets two. The AA gets the same on Styles so Cena goes to the top of the pod, points to the sign (required) and dives onto both guys. Bray is up first and Sister Abigail eliminates Cena at 29:15.

That makes Wyatt the huge face in the match now (not that big of a jump) and he runs AJ over, only to eat a forearm for two. The Phenomenal Blitz is cut off by a clothesline but Styles gets in the Pele and a springboard 450 for another near fall. AJ loads up the Phenomenal Forearm but gets caught in Sister Abigail for the pin to give Bray the title at 34:31.

Ort....actually one more thing before we get there.

“BUT KB! WYATT WAS TOTALLY BURIED LAST YEAR AT WRESTLEMANIA WHEN ROCK MADE FUN OF HIM AND THERE'S NO WAY HE COULD EVER RECOVER!!!” It's almost like anyone with a brain could have told you otherwise but no, let's just immediately freak out because Rock, the best trash talker ever, made jokes about Wyatt. It was stupid then and this is even more proof.

That's better.

Orton comes out for the staredown to end the show. JBL: “Does this mean Randy Orton is going to face Bray Wyatt at Wrestlemania?” Dang it JBL go talk to another legend and let Saxton handle the stupid questions.

Results
Becky Lynch b. Mickie James – Rollup
Apollo Crews/Kalisto b. Dolph Ziggler – Toss powerbomb
American Alpha won Tag Team Turmoil last eliminating Ascension
Nikki Bella vs. Natalya went to a double countout
Randy Orton b. Luke Harper – RKO
Naomi b. Alexa Bliss – Split legged moonsault
Bray Wyatt b. The Miz, Dean Ambrose, John Cena, Baron Corbin and AJ Styles – Sister Abigail to Styles

Quick Results

Monday Night Raw
Nia Jax b. Bayley – Samoan drop
Braun Strowman b. ???/???/???/??? – Running powerslam
Akira Tozawa b. Drew Gulak – German suplex
Anderson and Gallows b. Sheamus/Cesaro via DQ when Big Cass interfered
New Day b. Shining Stars – Midnight Hour to Primo
Chris Jericho b. Sami Zayn – Codebreaker
Jack Gallagher/Cedric Alexander/TJ Perkins b. Tony Nese/Noam Dar/Neville – Lumber Check to Dar
Samoa Joe b. Roman Reigns – Rock Bottom

Smackdown
Baron Corbin b. AJ Styles, Dean Ambrose and Miz – End of Days to Styles
Apollo Crews b. Dolph Ziggler – Rollup
Ascension/Vaudevillains/Usos b. American Alpha/Heath Slater/Rhyno/Breezango - Knee to the chest to Rhyno
John Cena b. Randy Orton – Attitude Adjustment

NXT
Sanity b. Bollywood Boyz – One Winged Angel to Gurv
Liv Morgan b. Billie Kay – Rollup
Revival b. Heavy Machinery – DDT to Knight
Sanity b. No Way Jose/Roderick Strong/Tye Dillinger – Crossbody to Strong

Impact Wrestling
DCC b. Tyrus/Eli Drake – Last Call to Tyrus
Aron Rex b. Robbie E. – Loaded punch
Drew Galloway b. Mahabali Shera – Futureshock
Lashley b. Eddie Edwards – Spear

Elimination Chamber 2017
Becky Lynch b. Mickie James – Rollup
Apollo Crews/Kalisto b. Dolph Ziggler – Toss powerbomb
American Alpha won Tag Team Turmoil last eliminating Ascension
Nikki Bella vs. Natalya went to a double countout
Randy Orton b. Luke Harper – RKO
Naomi b. Alexa Bliss – Split legged moonsault
Bray Wyatt b. The Miz, Dean Ambrose, John Cena, Baron Corbin and AJ Styles – Sister Abigail to Styles
__________________


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Yes
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I am
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in fact
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Originally Posted by klunderbunker
better than you.
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