Sacrifice 2009 with KB
Date: May 24, 2009
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Don West, Mike Tenay
This is just another random show as I try in vain to find them all. The main event here is a fatal fourway for the title with Foley, Sting, Jarrett and Angle all putting something up for the ultimate sacrifice which Iím sure weíll be told at least 94 times tonight. The card is standard fare for TNA from this era, so letís get to it.
Jarrett is putting up his voting shares, Sting is putting up his career (and he arrives in a yellow Lamborghini), Angle puts up the leadership of the Main Event Mafia and Foley puts up the world title. He shows up in an old car that is at least 45 years old and looks awful. The idea is whoever is pinned loses whatever they put up. In other words, Sting could pin Angle in a fatal fourway match where the world title is on the line and not be the champion. Sure why not.
Eric Young/Lethal Consequences vs. Sheik Abdul Bashir/Motor City Machine Guns
Hey look itís a totally pointless cruiserweight match! The Guns are heels here and have the IWGP Junior Heavyweight Tag Titles. You know, because two small guys like them could never hold the REAL tag titles right? Bashir is in World Elite at this point and is of course the EVIL Muslim. Young is just Eric Young here and isnít a coward or crazy etc. His partners are a parody of Savage and Apollo Creedís idiotic nephew. Sure why not.
Weíre 20 seconds into this match and West is already on my nerves. Sabin and Lethal start us off. Rollup by Sabin gets two on Young as the Canadian is in trouble. We talk about the main event because no one cares about these fuckers in the ring right? Itís just a bunch of random moves at a slightly faster than average pace. Shelley starts his series of kicks and tags in the Sheik.
I know Iím not saying a lot here but thereís just nothing of note. Itís a six man match with no real rhyme or reason to anything. The match isnít bad or anything but itís just a meaningless 15 minute match that goes nowhere and proves nothing. Big old double dive by Creed and Young to pop the crowd pretty well. Diamond Cutter by Sabin takes out Young. Thereís a lot of high spots and double team moves going on with tagging being completely forgotten but itís nothing spectacular. Itís good though.
Creed hits a DDT and Lethal gets two off of it, making one of the funniest faces appear on Lethalís face. Sabin takes down with a hard slap to the ass. I wish I was making that up but itís TNA so did you expect something else? Bashir hits a move similar to what Kaz was using recently with that Piledriver move on Lethal for two. In our unhyped move of the match, Young gets a Death Valley Driver on both Guns at once. Naturally this is treated like a basic chop because TNAís announcers have to shout later on about basic moves. A sunset flip from Lethal to Bashir ends it seconds later.
Rating: B-. Fun match but again itís just random cruiserweight stuff. Definitely good, but at the same time it kind of makes me say so what? Them dropping the whole tagging aspect a few minutes in was definitely the right idea as since this was supposed to be totally insane having them tag would have been dumb. This was a great choice for an opener as the crowd was into it and the faces won.
Young is pissed off because I guess the referee had to kick Bashirís hands off the ropes to make the sunset flip work.
We run down the card that we already paid for because we want to make sure the fans remember it.
We see everyone saying hello to Sting because he might be gone tonight.
We preview the Monsterís Ball match between Daffney and Taylor Wilde. The video promises all kinds of blood and violence. Why do I not buy that for a second? Itís supposed to be extra violent I guess.
Daffney vs. Taylor Wilde
Stevie Richards and Abyss are with the zombie hot chick. Yep Taylor looks pretty good like that. Kendo stick shot misses and we start with a regular match. Apparently getting hit with weapons is psychological punishment rather than physical. I love wrestling logic sometimes. Daffney gets a shot with a sign and weíre back to regular wrestling.
Daffney beats her up as we wait for the weapons to come in. Taylor throws her into a trash can and gets a few shots with a cookie sheet. She puts Daffney in a trash can and beats her with a hockey stick. Well she is Canadian so that makes sense. The fans want thumbtacks but Taylor hits an FUÖkind of onto a trash can to end this in like three and a half minutes. Some weapons match.
Rating: F+. This was a weapons match? Really? I donít think you can really call it a weapons match when there are just weapons laying around the ring. This was really weak and with less than four minutes how violent of a match can you really have? Boring as hell match that was totally worthless.
Post match Taylor gets beaten up and Stevie, who is a doctor at this point, lays out thumbtacks. This is a way to get Abyss off of weapons or something. Stevie tells Abyss to chokeslam her onto the tacks but he doesnít want to. Lauren comes down and talks Abyss out of it but Stevie shoves her down. Richards of course eats tacks.
Video package on Jeff Jarrett which is an extended one of the opening video, which is something Iíd expect a lot of tonight. Basically Jarrett is awesome and really loves TNA.
There will be two former world champions and a new Knockout on Thursday but you have to send a text to find out. Or you could just like, wait until Thursday. The knockout would be Tara and the world champions were Raven and Shane Douglas.
Jarrett comes in and says he has to be perfect tonight. He doesnít like Foley either.
We recap the Daniels vs. Suicide match, which started because Daniels was accused of being Suicide who was a character from the TNA video game. Suicide won the title and all of the smart fans knew it was Daniels who had been fired. This one is Kazarian I believe.
X-Division Title: Christopher Daniels vs. Suicide
Heís just called Daniels here but screw that. Suicide pops up behind Daniels after the lights come back up. Feeling out process to start as West compares this to Area 51, Lee Harvey Oswald and if man walked on the moon. West starts talking about Curry Man, another guy that Daniels portrayed. The fans chant suicide. Yeah thatís not weird at all. The main thing going on so far is West rambling about his conspiracy theories.
Daniels gets a rather weak crossface chickenwing on the mat for a few seconds. Enziguri completely misses but itís sold anyway. Release Rock Bottom sets up the Best Moonsault Ever which is avoided. They canít get a tombstone reversal sequence as this hasnít been much from a quality standpoint. West keeps going with his theories and they get more and more annoying each time.
They go to the ramp a bit and Suicide counters into one of those firemanís carries into a front flip but hurts some part of his leg or foot on. Daniels gets a nice slingshot move into a rollup for two. Sabin of all people comes out to distract the referee so Shelley can sneak in to hit a Codebreaker which Daniels steals the pin with.
Rating: D+. Not much here. It was decent enough but it just never got out of the blocks. I have never been a fan of Daniels as his matches just come off as boring beyond belief to me. This was no exception as it just kept on going until the Guns came out to set up the finish. Can someone please explain the appeal of this guy to me?
Daniels grabs the mic and says he didnít have anything to do with the Guns being there so Daniels wants five more minutes and I guess Suicide is still champion here. Ok so the match is going to continue. By the way, this isnít overbooking as it fits in with the whole Daniels/Suicide conspiracy angle theyíre using here. Suicide takes over for awhile here which is a change of pace from the previous match. Or earlier in the match or whatever the right term is.
Koji Clutch goes on Suicide as Daniels gets the advantage but ropes are of course grabbed since the draw is more or less a given at this point. In something youíll hardly ever see in this arena, the fans chant boring. We get the clock as we have less than a minute. Donít let Samoa Joe see it! Standing BME is blocked as Suicide gets two off the counter. Codebreaker gets two at the bell.
Rating: C. Thatís for the extra five minutes which was much better than the first twelve but not by much. Suicide is a guy I could get into more than Daniels and this is a great example of that. Not a great match at all but for a shorter thing like this it worked fine I guess. Still not wanting to see any more of Daniels though.
Angle is warming up.
We recap Kong vs. Love which isnít much of a match at all on paper. Kong is of course the face here and the challenger.
Knockouts Title: Awesome Kong vs. Angelina Love
The Beautiful People have been eliminated by Kong and are also called Mi Pi Sexy here for no good reason. Love has a crown on here and is looking rather nervous to put it mildly. We get a Kongís Gonna Kill You chant to start things off. Love tries to run which of course fails. Thereís a funny visual of her holding onto the railing and Kong pulling her feet which leaves her off the ground.
All Kong to start us off here of course as West talks about how Love is luring her into a false sense of security. Kong misses the spinning back fist into the post though and Love hasÖ.well I canít in fair consciousness call it a chance but sheís not getting beaten on for awhile at least. Love kicks her down and sprints into the ring to get the count out which of course doesnít work.
Botox Injection kick hits but these shots are clearly not working in the slightest. Kong apparently remembers that itís supper time and she wants a Knockout for supper. Wow that was corny. Love tries to leave again but Raisha Saed stops her and Kong lands a running splash to end her. Leg drop gets one as Kong lets her up. Love gets out of the way of a middle rope splash and sprays some stuff in the eyes of Kong. A rollup with tights ends this.
Rating: D. Well they did what they could here and at least they booked the match properly. Love couldnít fight Kong straight up and everyone knew it so they didnít try to. Love stealing the win is ok I guess but this was the beginning of the total dominance by the BP until Tara helped fight them off a bit.
Love gets annihilated after the match.
Stingís career is still on the line and somehow heís a 12 time world champion now. Thatís accurate to a degree but itís counting the two WCW International reigns and the WWA World Title which was a world title in name only. Itís more like 10 but you could argue 12 I guess. Sting says he put his career on the line to make sure he wasnít going to lose. Keep in mind that itís not winner take all but rather whoever gets pinned loses whatever they put up.
We recap Joe vs. Nash. Nash mentored Joe but turned on him. Joe came back with a removable face tattoo and had the ridiculous Nation of Violence thing where he tried to kill the Mafia. Naturally he joined them a month later.
Samoa Joe vs. Kevin Nash
We get the tease of the mystery advisor which was Taz and would fall flat. The dueling chants begin because Nash is a heel so some fans in Orlando MUST cheer him donít you know. Joe gets a modified ankle lock almost immediately and Nash is in trouble. We settle into the slow and methodical brawl that is Nashís fastest pace more often than not. Both swing a chair but only Joeís swing connects. No word on this being no DQ but whatever.
Nash is bleeding a bit even though the chair shot was to the back. Wow that was a hell of a shot then. It shook Nashís body so hard that Nashís forehead on the other side of his body split open! Jumping enziguri, which is of course not the Pele kick because heís not AJ, tries to set up the Clutch but Nash counters. Joe kicks Nash in theÖ.uhÖ.weíll say chest off the middle rope to put him down again.
Not much here as this is VERY slow paced. Nash kicks out and Joe is surprised although not exactly stunned. Joe gets the choke on again but Nash gets the ropes and a lot blow. Joeís tattoo is running. Hate it when that happens. Back splash gets two. Can you trade your two counts in for a three at some point? And now Joe gets the choke for the tap out. This was an extended squash.
Rating: D+. Like I said this was just a squash for Joe which makes sense as they wanted to make him out to be a monster. This of course would mean nothing as he took money to join the Mafia instead of hating them anymore which was a total waste of about three months of storylines but thatís to be expected I guess. This makes sense the more you think about it.
We recap Beer Money vs. the British Invasion. Itís not for a title or anything like that. This is the final of the Team 3D Invitational Tournament. In short, Team 3D was declared to be so awesome that they held their own tournament to determine the #1 contenders. The winners also get money and a trophy. Iíll give TNA this: they had a tournament with 8 teams where only 2 were thrown together. Team 3D says how awesome they are and says they like Beer Money better.
Beer Money vs. British Invasion
Yeah itís a tournament final but screw writing the name out. 3D is out for commentary here. The Invasion is Magnus and Williams with Rob Terry as their enforcer. Williams (as in the member of Fourtune) starts with Roode. Beer Money are faces here. LOUD USA chant from the eternally xenophobic wrestling crowd. Oh and the Brits jumped Team 3D a few weeks ago apparently.
Nice mat wrestling to start us off as the fans are all over the heels. Roode slaps him so Williams hits a sleek jumping back elbow to the face. I love that move. Roode busts out some more of Hennigís moves to hammer in the subtlety. They switch off as the faces continue their dominance. Storm skins the cat (again, WHO NAMED IT THAT?) whole having a mouth full of beer. Take THAT Steamboat!
We get something close to a Hardy spot as Storm gets launched to the floor to take out all three British dudes. Some Chris Harris bashing goes on as Storm is declared to be a better tag wrestler now with Roode as his partner than he ever has been before. West continues to kiss their asses as Bubba cracks me up by getting on him. Backstabber by Storm gets us back to even. We get an oral history of tag tournaments which is kind of cool.
West mentions how the taxes take away a lot of the money the winning team gets. Bubba, without missing a beat: Ok. Now shut up. Heís awesome on the mic here and is making me laugh constantly. An unnecessary leap for the tag by Storm brings in Rude. Spinebuster gets two. Terry interferes and Williams uses a GTS style move that ends in a European uppercut.
Storm hits a rana and Roode hits a frog splash of all things but Tery makes the save. He gets thrown out for his troubles. That near mullet needs to go away. Roode DRILLS Williams in the head with a Feast or Fired briefcase and a superkick from Storm added to that ends it.
Rating: C+. Not a great match but definitely good. I donít think anyone thought the Brits were going to win here but the match went better than I expected it to. The trophy presentation is Thursday. Why not have it now? Whatever, as the match was better than I expected and the work was there. The double team move should have ended it though but what are you going to do? Decent match.
Angle says he wants to be back on top and that heíll win the title for the 5th time tonight.
We recap Booker vs. AJ for the Legends Title. Itís an I Quit match for the sake of having a gimmick. AJ took the title at Destination X and have something close to a feud going but the stipulation is overkill as usual.
Legends Title: Booker T vs. AJ Styles
By the way, this is the AWESOME AJ, as in before Flair showed up there and turned the best guy they had into a tribute to himself and made AJ stop being the best wrestler in the world. AJ has matured into being Legends Champion. You know because the three world title reigns didnít count of course. West drills into our heads that even though Styles is the best homegrown star ever in the company, heís behind every member of the Main Event Mafia. Nicely done there guys.
BIG AJ chant to start us out and thereís no Sharmell. The dueling chants begin for no apparent reason. Indian Deathlock with the bridging crossface, one of my favorites, goes onto Booker. AJ works the knee for the most part which makes sense as it takes away the kicks also. He dominates the first five minutes or so and West says itís even so far. That guy is an imbecile.
Booker knocks him from the apron to the railing where AJís throat slams across it. Crowd is more behind AJ here but Booker gets chants too. Because heís a heel you know so we have to cheer for him. Axe kick over the rope sends AJís throat into the rope again. Booker hits a forearm smash and we get a Spinarooni. Booker works on the neck and throat for a good while so now he throws on a wristlock for no tap out.
They slug it out and a Pele takes Booker down. Oh and now Booker sucks. Theyíre going more with the beat the other person into oblivion until they give up rather than submission version here which is fine. And hereís Sharmell to annoy us. Springboard forearm, my favorite AJ move, hits and Booker accidently knocks his wife down. AJ grabs a cross armbreaker and Booker is in trouble. And hereís Jenna, the Survivor chick, to throw in the towel for Booker to end it. This would lead to one of the worst recorded matches ever between the girls at Victory Road.
Rating: C+. Good match here but the ending of course hurt it. AJ kind of got a clean win here but kind of didnít, which makes things seem like Booker still doesnít have to put him over. I really question using the second biggest match on the card as a vehicle to get Jenna vs. Sharmell advanced but what do you expect from a company that brings in a Survivor winner in 2009 and expects people to care?
Foley talks about all the sacrifices heís made over the years to get where he is today.
Ultimate Sacrifice: Jeff Jarrett vs. Kurt Angle vs. Sting vs. Mick Foley
First of all, Foley is listed as being two inches taller than Sting. I REALLY want to see them standing next to each other now.
Jarrett Ė Voting shares
Angle Ė Leadership of the Main Event Mafia
Sting Ė Career
Foley Ė World Title
Now before the match starts, letís take a look at a few things here. First and not foremost, why would you even try to fight here? Why not just run to the back and hide? You keep your thing and donít risk losing anything. Maybe youíre happy with what youíve got. Second and more importantly, why would you go after Sting?
I canít imagine a scenario where getting rid of one guy is more important than winning a title, controlling a company or leading the group that heís in. Letís see: if you win the title then Sting is no longer standing in your way of getting it. If you control the company you can make things very hard on Sting. If you run the Mafia you have an army to take care of Sting for you. Why in the world wouldnít you go for one of the other two guys?
Sting has more or less said he only wants to beat Foley. Keep in mind itís not winner take all but rather only the person that takes the fall loses anything. Three people keep their stuff. Angle is thin as hell here and might weigh 180 pounds. Sting and Jarrett are more or less the faces here. Tornado rules naturally. We get big match introductions to fill some more time.
Also great to see that the ownership of a company is once again being put on the line in a wrestling match. Jeremy says if so and so is pinned. They say nothing at all about tapping out which Iím surprised they didnít try to use. Sting vs. Foley and Angle vs. Jarrett are your early pairings. Iíll give them this: the idea is original if nothing else. Angle Slam is countered into a DDT very early by Jarrett for two.
Foley avoids the Scorpion as theyíre the two in the ring at the moment. No one is in the ring now as Sting and Foley are in the crowd. Ah ok now Angle vs. Jarrett is in the ring. We go split screen and some moron is on his phone. Dude, itís the main event of a Pay Per View. YOU CAN TALK LATER. Figure Four on Angle and a Piledriver on Sting on the ramp.
We cut back to the ring and Angle has the ankle lock on. Thanks for telling us Angle got out of the finisher guys. And now Mick is sitting down and doing some commentary. See this is what Iím talking about: he canít lose anything if heís not in the ring so why not just sit it out? Jarrett hits a Pedigree of all things for two. Foley wants Jarrettís shares more than the leadership of the Mafia. Makes sense.
Angle and Sting beat up Jarrett while Foley stays on commentary. Angle DIVES over the announce table and itís on again. Angle Slam on the floor and Foley is mostly dead. Stork for Foley and Slam for Jarrett. After Sting almost gets the Mafia leadership and a Jarrett rollup we get the falling headbutt to the balls spot which is always good for a chuckle.Only Foley is left standing and he puts two socks on his hands.
And there goes the referee. Guitar to Sting but thereís no referee. Chair to Foley gets two as does an Angle frog splash. This is very fast paced so Iím leaving a lot out. In a cool spot Angle puts Sting and Jarrettís feet on top of one another and puts an ankle lock on both. Well thatís creative. Foley of course saves but that could have been an awesome moment for Kurt. Jarrett hits a second rope Stroke onto a chair on Angle but Sting slides int o steal the pin and takes over the Mafia. Foley almost making love to his belt ends the show.
Rating: B-. I really liked this which surprises me. The idea of everyone defending something while trying to take something else is a very cool idea. In a fatal fourway usually the only person that has something to lose is the champion. This amplifies that idea and it worked for me for some reason. Granted having my two favorite wrestlers ever in it helps a lot but you get the idea. This wasnít much from a wrestling perspective but the idea of each person defending something oddly worked and I bought into it which is the idea. Solid main event.
Overall Rating: C+. This was pretty good which doesnít really surprise me. This and the following five months or so are probably the best TNA had ever been. Then they signed Hogan and everything came to a screeching halt but thatís another story. While Iím not sure having AJ in armor and holding a big fucking gun on the poster was the best idea or what in the hell it has to do with the idea of the show but whatever. This was a rather good show with some decent stuff in there. Thereís nothing great which stops it from being a very good show and there are some annoying things in it but overall, this was a fairly good show. I wouldnít really recommend it or anything but itís not something to avoid if that makes sense. Decent show.
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