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Old 05-17-2010, 12:58 PM
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klunderbunker klunderbunker is offline
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klunderbunker is a World Heavyweight Champion...and is being held down by Triple H...klunderbunker is a World Heavyweight Champion...and is being held down by Triple H...klunderbunker is a World Heavyweight Champion...and is being held down by Triple H...klunderbunker is a World Heavyweight Champion...and is being held down by Triple H...klunderbunker is a World Heavyweight Champion...and is being held down by Triple H...klunderbunker is a World Heavyweight Champion...and is being held down by Triple H...klunderbunker is a World Heavyweight Champion...and is being held down by Triple H...klunderbunker is a World Heavyweight Champion...and is being held down by Triple H...klunderbunker is a World Heavyweight Champion...and is being held down by Triple H...klunderbunker is a World Heavyweight Champion...and is being held down by Triple H...klunderbunker is a World Heavyweight Champion...and is being held down by Triple H...
Default Week of 5/10/10 - 5/16/10 Part 2 (Sunday)

Sunday

Sacrifice 2010
Date: May 16, 2010
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Taz, Mike Tenay

So this is more or less just another TNA show. AJ vs. RVD is the main event which should be fine, but other than that nothing really stands out on the card. It looks pretty good I guess, but I’m not incredibly looking forward to it. Oh and Abyss got arrested a few days ago. Riveting isn’t it? Anyway, let’s get to it as I have more stuff to review today. Damn I need a life.

The opening video is a bunch of still, mainly talking about blood. Ladies and gentlemen, Ric Flair could own this place in like 5 minutes. The arena looks…really damn familiar. And we’re immediately going to the first match.

Motor City Machine Guns vs. Beer Money vs. Team 3D

It’s for the number one contender spot. Simple but effective. So I think they’re all faces now but since it’s Sunday they’ll all have switched sides by Thursday 298 times anyway so it’s not like it matters. At least they all get intros this time rather than just the old dudes. This is for the eventual 24th title reign for Team 3D. Holy crap that’s far too many reigns. This is one fall to a finish so keep that in mind. Roode and Shelley start us off.

The fans like both people. Why does that not surprise me in the least? The referee is named Slick Johnson. That’s just great. Why does Taz use the term pin covers? That’s never made much sense to me but whatever. We’ve had two tags so far and no Dudley has been in there yet. Scratch that as Bubba is in now. There’s a severe lack of flow here as it’s just kind of all over the place. I can understand that with six people in there, but at the same time it’s still rather annoying.

D-Von gets a legdrop on Sabin. That should get him a short main event push. If Bubba ever hits that back splash, someone is going to die. The Guns just go insane and beat the hell out of everyone until Roode knocks Sabin’s head off with a clothesline. Fast paced stuff if nothing else. And now let’s pause ten seconds for tag team identification. Is there ANY point to them stopping everything to shout their names like that?

Sabin comes in and cranks things up. Shelley hops up from the apron to the top rope as Taz thinks it might be some kind of springboard. And now it’s all broken down. 3D doesn’t work due to beer spitting. A double team splash/neckbreaker combination ends it for the Guns. Not liking that finisher that much actually.

We talk about Wolfe/Abyss a bit to set this up.

Global Title: Rob Terry vs. Orlando Jordan

We’re told that Terry has never turned down a title defense. What has he had? Two of them? They call this a battle of the freaks. Ok then. Jordan is lowered from the ceiling into the ring. Taz says it’s better than walking to the ring with a black towel on your head. Ok that was a funny line. Terry is called the Global Champion of the World. So don’t pay attention to that Venezuelan Global Champion.

He’s got JACK on Terry. Terry has come a long way in the last few months. Who would believe him having passable matches (given who he is) a few months ago? They list off the people he’s defended against. Wow they sound pitiful. This has been all Terry here. Jordan goes for the knee which makes a bit of sense I suppose. Jordan can’t even drop a knee properly. That’s hard to do. It truly is.

Oh and the flamboyant and bizarre guy is wearing gold. Nothing stolen there at all. The fans thing Terry Wants It apparently. WOW I want to smack those people. And there’s the spinebuster (Not calling it the Freakbuster or whatever Tenay called it) for the pin. That came out of nowhere. I SAID IT FIRST TAZ! SHUT UP!

Jordan jumps Terry as he leaves and attacks his knee. Oh great that means the feud is going to continue.

Ink Inc. comes to see the Dudleys as Bubba has beer in his eyes. Bubba freaks over them saying they’ll take care of the Band. His promo gets cut off by the buildup for the X Title match.

Short version, Douglas couldn’t make a show and got stripped of the title but still has the physical belt. This is his title chance.

X-Division Title: Douglas Williams vs. Kazarian

We get the bullet points for the match. They’re exactly the same things that the package told us. Thanks for that guys. I love that wrist thing Williams does. It’s just….British. Long feeling out process to start which is fine. This is getting complicated as I’m reviewing this and a Dragon Gate show at the same time so the shows couldn’t be more different.

Tenay is rambling on about a Rey Mysterio autograph signing or something. To be fair, it’s just wristlock stuff. This is more chain wrestling stuff which is perfectly fine. It’s a dying art in wrestling and it’s nice to see some of it. The crowd is rather annoying. They don’t cheer other than for one of their stupid lines. However, they’re hardly driving me crazy like some of the others on here. They’re a crowd, not the product.

This is slowly becoming less good. It’s still not bad, but it’s not as interesting. Seriously though, it’s hard to silence a TNA crowd. Is there a reason we need to keep having shots of the title belt in the picture? It’s rather stupid. I think they’re trying to do high flying vs. mat stuff but it’s not really working. Sloppy is what this has become. Why am I talking like Yoda? Williams hits Chaos Theory to get the title back.

Chelsea and Desmond talk about the plan on Thursday messing up. Wow this is over the top. To recap, Chelsea is upset that in a match where if Desmond wins he gets Hulk Hogan’s Hall of Fame ring but she’s upset and worried about the way she’ll be treated if she’s given to a monster named Abyss for 30 days because of the false police report they gave which is still under investigation. And this is REAL PRO WRESTLING BABY!

We recap Tara vs. Madison Rayne, which is just idiotic. Seriously I can’t get over the box thing.

Knockouts Title: Madison Rayne vs. Tara

Tara retires if she doesn’t win the title. Again they repeat it with the bullet points. That theme song is still awesome, as are her looks. Taz insists Tara isn’t about shaking her ass. Yeah that’s totally accurate. Yep. Madison sends the other two off. Ok then. The double chants get REALLY annoying. But remember boys and girls, in Russo’s mind, you don’t need faces and heels. Yeah whatever.

Madison is going nuts with covers here. That’s surprising. Has she ever won a one on one match? I’ll give her this: she’s not acting scared. That’s a major plus for her. Widow’s Peak is blocked. And it connects on the second time. Ok then. She gets to the floor though so that’s all well and good. Tara hits a top rope moonsault for two. That’s a new one but it looked good. She goes for another and of course it misses.

Madison hits something close to Zach Ryder’s finisher for the pin to retain. She won totally clean. Nice. THAT IS HOW YOU LEAVE A DAMN COMPANY! Tara freaks after leaving as Madison is a total bitch to her. And here’s a security guard telling Tara she has to leave. Are you fucking kidding me? She can’t have a minute to wave at the people? Ah ok. We need to go to the Band.

Eric Young wants to say why he joined the Band. They say they’re using the Freebird Rule. Ok so two teams are using it now. Yeah they don’t have an overcrowded roster at all.

Tag Titles: The Band vs. Ink Inc.

Since Morgan isn’t champion anymore, there’s more or less no build here. Why would you need one of those? Ink Inc. CLEARLY is enough drawing power to not need an angle or a feud or anything pesky like that. Oh and clearly THESE TWO are the second best team in the company. Hall and Moore start us off.

Wow I can’t stand these challengers. Tenay and Taz continue their brilliance by pointing out that they number one contenders have had one match which they had after being named number one contenders. Brilliant guys. The Outsiders use all of their old favorites and it’s just not that interesting. I love Hall just standing there watching his partner getting the hell beaten out of him. Down goes the referee as the spear misses.

Young, armed with a kendo stick is here. Neal gets a spear on Nash though. That’s a bit surprising. Bubba comes out and yells at Nash before popping Neal with the stick. Oh here we go again. Young pulls Nash on top for the cover and the pin.

We recap the whole police thing from Thursday. Wow that was idiotic.

Abyss vs. Desmond Wolfe

Bets on how long it takes for Wolfe to job here? Abyss jumps him on the ramp and Chelsea has to be at ringside for this. It’s of course a big brawl and no one cares about Abyss. Seriously, why is he pushed this hard? Oh yeah: Hogan likes him. In a funny spot, Wolfe goes for a cross body and Abyss just lets him bounce off. That worked. See what happens when Abyss does nothing? Apparently the new ranking system comes out Thursday. Why do I not care at all?

Taz thinks Wolfe will be world champion. That’s just amusing. Oh and one Desmond chant to zero for Abyss. Funny. Ah there’s an Abyss chant. It’s matches by a LET’S GO DESMOND chant. They’ve done that in all but one match. Wow they’re irritating. Wolfe hits all kinds of big and high impact shots.

Naturally Abyss just shrugs them off. Chelsea slips in some brass knuckles. That only gets two of course too. Why should a weapon considered lethal put a guy down for three seconds? And he Hulks Up. Three punches and a Black Hole Slam end it. I’m actually not making that up. Sweet damn this is stupid.

In the back, Anderson has his own mic drop in for an interview. Nice one. He makes fun of Hardy fans and of TNA fans in general. Ok that was clever. He says his fans are Anderson’s Assholes. Oh dear.

Jeff Hardy vs. Mr. Anderson

This has a 20 minute time limit. Isn’t that what openers often get? Just made it seem weak to me. They go at it right away. The fans now chant that they’re assholes. Russo, fuck you to hell and back for your WE DON’T NEED FACES AND HEELS bullshit. It’s basic wrestling and has worked for 100 years, but apparently you’ve come up with a better take on things.

Maybe next time you can get the ratings even lower with your bullshit. Damn man, how can you manage to fuck up an entire sport like that? It fucking takes talent man. This is ridiculous. They’re on their fourth chant in like 3 minutes of wrestling. This is ridiculous. FINALLY they shut up and I can focus more on the match than on my anger issues. And we have dueling LET’S GO ASSHOLE/LET’S GO HARDY chants. Yeah this is WAY better than WWE guys.

Hardy sets a chair up for a jumping leg lariat. Not bad. When did Hardy patent a bulldog? Mic Check connects. This is ok at best but nothing really special. Jeff gets a Swanton for the pin. Seriously, this just came and went. Anderson offers a handshake after the match, because TNA isn’t thin enough on heels already. Jeff won’t shake it. Nice guy isn’t he?

Flair says AJ will win. Styles, whose hair is even blonder than before, says there’s no reason to respect RVD and that he’ll win.

We recap Sting vs. Jarrett which is another Russo fantasy as he desperately tries to make Sting, one of the biggest faces ever, into a heel. It’s not working, at least not to me. Oh that’s right: it’s about HOGAN! It made no sense but whatever.

Sting vs. Jeff Jarrett

Twenty minutes again. I’ve always loved Jarrett’s MY WORLD theme. And now we go to the back to see Sting beating Jarrett up with the bat. Of course he’s bleeding. Sting goes after his shoulder and “pops it out of place”. Why do I have a feeling this is going to be the whole match? We’re in the arena now and it’s just a big beatdown. Tenay still wants an explanation, meaning the Hogan thing doesn’t count, which means they’ll go with that as the reason.

Bell rings, Scorpion Death Drop, pin. Sting says “those guys” will pay just like Jarrett did for “playing the deception game.” What does that mean? TUNE INTO IMPACT TO NOT GET THE ANSWER! Jarrett does a stretcher job and guess what the fans chant. They chant for Sting. Yep, Russo fails again.

Sting beats him up on the stretcher. Yeah this isn’t working at all. And here’s Hogan to get rid of Sting. So when do we get the Starrcade 97 rematch? Also it should be noted, I have no problem with Hogan coming out for things like that. That’s fine as it was an intense situation and he came out for that. Perfectly fine there.

For the sake of space I edited out a rant about Russo and this match’s booking. Check the TNA Aftermath thread if you’re interested on that.

RVD cuts one of his traditional promos.

You know the AJ/RVD story. Van Dam won the title, this is the rematch. That’s the story.

TNA World Title: Rob Van Dam vs. AJ Styles

LOT of time for this. The show has just been lackluster so far so this could help it a lot. Apparently Larry Zbyszko has been training these two as we stall A LOT. Three minutes in and no actual contact yet. We have a headlock! We get an AJ sucks chant to FINALLY get him some heel heat. And now MORE talking and waiting around. Is wrestling illegal in TNA? Finally we get some extended contact and it lasts all of 30 seconds.

Flair gets thrown out and we make it about anything other than the match and wrestling for a few more minutes. The bell rang like 7 minutes ago and they MIGHT have had a minute of contact. Flair does commentary. AJ hits a nice over the top swanton dive. Nice one indeed. I think the issue here is no one believes AJ is going to win. In a painful looking spot, RVD jumps to the top with his back to the ring and gets shoved off the ropes where he slams head first into the ramp.

Flair implies sexual relations with Dixie. Not a bad idea if I do say so myself. Flair is talking about AJ the most which is what he’s supposed to do. Nicely done. Flair talks about what it’s like in the mindset of being the world champion and says if he was somewhere and an NBA All-Star was there it didn’t matter because he was Ric Flair. True story: when the NBA was locked out back in like 98, my Dad and cousin were in Atlantic City where some NBA guys were having an exhibition there.

My cousin saw Flair there. Said he couldn’t have looked better and couldn’t have been nicer. I got an autograph out of it. Also said he was built like a tank. That’s not something that comes off well on TV but apparently he looks incredible in person. To be fair though, he’s usually next to some of the best conditioned people on the planet so he kind of blends in. This is your standard back and forth main event match and it’s working pretty well.

Can’t ask for much more than a back and forth world title match between two guys of this caliber. AJ busts out a torture rack of all things. Given Flair’s wars with Luger, that’s rather amusing. Also it should be noted that he used it after countering Rolling Thunder with a knee to the back. THAT is thinking in a match.

Flair gets fed up when AJ keeps messing up and goes to the ring but here’s Jay Lethal for the stop. We keep the camera on them for a minute or so as Lethal puts the Figure Four on Flair. There’s a minute and a half I’ll never get back. Tenay thinks we should focus on what’s in the ring. What a concept! AJ has a suplerplex reversed and takes the Five Star for RVD to retain and close the show.

Results
Motor City Machine Guns b. Team 3D/Beer Money – Splash/Neckbreaker Combination
Rob Terry b. Orlando Jordan – Spinebuster
Douglas Williams b. Kazarian – Chaos Theory
Madison Rayne b. Tara – Knee to the back of Tara’s head
The Band b. Ink Inc. – Kendo Stick to Neal’s head
Abyss b. Desmond Wolfe – Black Hole Slam
Jeff Hardy b. Mr. Anderson – Swanton Bomb
Sting b. Jeff Jarrett – Scorpion Death Drop
Rob Van Dam b. AJ Styles – Five Star Frog Splash


Quick Results

Raw
Chris Jericho b. David Hart Smith – Codebreaker
R-Truth b. William Regal via disqualification – Colons interference
Evan Bourne b. Zach Ryder – Air Bourne
Tyson Kidd b. The Miz – Rollup
NXT Rookies b. John Morrison/Santino Marella/Goldust/Yoshi Tatsu – Rollup on Santino
Randy Orton b. Ted DiBiase/Edge – RKO to DiBiase

NXT
Michael Tarver and Daniel Bryan are eliminated
Wade Barrett b. Heath Slater – Front Slam
Skip Sheffield b. Darren Young – Over the Shoulder Stunner
David Otunga b. Justin Gabriel – Spinebuster
Skip Sheffield is eliminated

Impact
Tara b. Taylor Wilde – Kick to the stomach
Brian Kendrick b. Douglas Williams - Rollup
Matt Morgan vs. Generation Me went to a no contest
Kevin Nash/Scott Hall b. Matt Morgan – Cover after Muscle Buster from Samoa Joe
Ink Inc b. Team 3D, Motor City Machine Guns and Beer Money – Spear on Brother Ray
Orlando Jordan b. Tomko – Guillotine Choke
Tara b. Sarita – Knee Brace to the head
AJ Styles b. Rob Van Dam and Jeff Hardy – DDT on the floor and feet on the ropes

Smackdown
Kofi Kingston b. Christian – Trouble in Paradise
Shad Gaspar b. Jesse Guyver - STO
MVP/JTG b. The Dude Busters – Play of the Day
Layla/Michelle McCool b. Beth Phoenix – Cover after Beth’s head hit Michelle’s head
Kane b. Chavo Guerrero – Chokeslam
Rey Mysterio b. CM Punk – Disqualification – Masked Man interference

Sacrifice
Motor City Machine Guns b. Team 3D/Beer Money – Splash/Neckbreaker Combination
Rob Terry b. Orlando Jordan – Spinebuster
Douglas Williams b. Kazarian – Chaos Theory
Madison Rayne b. Tara – Knee to the back of Tara’s head
The Band b. Ink Inc. – Kendo Stick to Neal’s head
Abyss b. Desmond Wolfe – Black Hole Slam
Jeff Hardy b. Mr. Anderson – Swanton Bomb
Sting b. Jeff Jarrett – Scorpion Death Drop
Rob Van Dam b. AJ Styles – Five Star Frog Splash
__________________


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Originally Posted by klunderbunker
Yes
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Originally Posted by klunderbunker
I am
Quote:
Originally Posted by klunderbunker
in fact
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Originally Posted by klunderbunker
better than you.
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