06-19-2017, 12:14 PM
I feel I should explicitly point out that none of these rants are in regard to anyone on the forums.
Something that bugs me to no end is the idea that people can change their attitudes on a whim, and will often deny that such a thing had ever occurred. I have a few extreme examples of this concept, that haunt me more-so because most people I've met deny that they even exist.
The way men behave around each other when an attractive woman is nearby:
Click for Spoiler:
When I was young, I was luckily able to find a group of friends that I related too in terms of our level of maturity. We would often throw parties, and at first we had an open door policy on who could attend as we lived in a very safe area.
We noticed that one thing was constant every-time a fight would break out. The explanation was always "He called me a faggot!" or "I was talking and he cut me off!" or some stupid shit. My friends and I noticed that such banter wouldn't ordinarily start a fight, except that on these occasions there just happened to be an attractive woman involved in the situation. When pressed, the guys would outright deny that they reacted more angrily because they were trying to impress a woman or because they felt more emasculated for being insulted near a woman.
My friends and I decided to stop throwing parties, as the only other option would have been to only allow one gender in the house at one time. It was my friend's house, and a lot of holes were being punched into the walls during the testosterone fueled fracases.
I'm glad that I recognized this phenomenon early in life, because everywhere I go I have seen examples of this. I've seen men who ordinarily act like assholes suddenly become cute because they're talking to an attractive woman. I've been cussed out by male bosses for petty matters (I worked in a gym, and asked if it would be alright if I stepped out to give someone a caliper test which they had requested. My boss flipped out because he felt that the customer should have gone somewhere else, for no fucking reason) in front of attractive female employees. I've accidentally bumped a guy who was with his girlfriend, and spent the next twenty minutes smiling at him while he explained all the different ways he was going to beat the shit out of me (though, no joke, he eventually apologized and we hugged).
We men have reputations, whether they're warranted or honest. We have reputations as potentially good people, and we have reputations as potential sex gods. I think that we men often lean toward the latter, and ask "But how will it get me laid?" too often when considering a decision that may require sacrifice.
Click for Spoiler:
I can't be the only person who's been there. I've known people who just didn't like me, for what I can imagine was only due to having a punchable face. I admit that I've been tempted to form that kind of prejudice against people based on irrelevant factors like where they're from or what music they listen to. It just strikes me as odd when a third party is willing to defend someone who is clearly acting like an asshole, and in effect accuse me of being stupid, insane or a combination of both.
What amazes me the most is that this person can go from reacting with disdain regarding anything I say or do, and then become cute and react with childish glee at any influence from someone else. It's as if the asshole has set a social standard, and they're holding back their rage due to my inability to meet their social standards. Meanwhile, someone who seems very nice and considerate has their full attention and they get along splendidly. When I appeal to the nice person, they tell me that I've misinterpreted meaning and that the asshole in question really isn't at all like how I've perceived them. When I appeal to the asshole, my effort to get their attention is another excuse to play a game where they win if they can no longer contain their contempt for me.
Long after having to deal with that kind of social situation, the asshole will have had a paradigm shift of sorts and will suddenly be an approachable person whom I can have long conversations with. What makes that really interesting for me, is that they're still in denial about who they once were. At best, they'll feign ignorance and claim that they can't remember being an asshole. The other inexplicably nice individual who once validated them will acknowledge that they changed, but they won't acknowledge that they had originally disagreed with me when I called the asshole on their bullshit.
Sometimes all it took to get put on an asshole's permanent shit-list was to be alive. If I see someone being an asshole, especially if they're a friend of mine, I call them out in private. It's taken over a decade for some people to warm up to me, but even then it'd be nice if after doing so they could admit that they used to be pieces of shit.
There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so. - Hamlet