Episode 6: The Kick Heard 'Round The World
Show Opening - State of the Union Address
The Color Guard vs. The Wyatt Kindred
- From the Titantron, Alberto El Patron addressed The War Room with Shinsuke Nakamura and Vice President Paige on either side of him.
- Stated that while enjoying his title reign, Apex Warfare was suffering from the lack of real violence, and he was there to remedy that.
- He will be bringing in 3 hardcore icons of the industry tonight to show the locker room how it is done.
- He will also give the fans what they wanted. Patron will defend his title against Austin next week in a Mexican Death Match.
- Alberto was interrupted by a voice from the crowd. Bautista held a microphone.
- Social media was blowing up about how the Japanese superstar turned on his friends. They dubbed it "The Kick Heard 'Round The World". A determined Animal wanted Shinsuke Nakamura and he wanted him that night.
- President Patron grinned, and said Nakamura would look forward to the confrontation.
Backstage - Faction Warfare
- Matanza and the newly recruited Doink the Clown represented Wyatt.
- Doink's facepaint appeared cracked.
- Grado was left unconscious in the ring with DDP trying to wake him up.
Mark Henry vs. Sheamus
- From different rooms, La Resistance and The East Coast Pulpit watched The Wyatt Kindred tear The Color Guard apart.
- Reverend D-Von and Rene Dupree came to the same conclusion: They can't let the Kindred run amok. There had to be a way to show that they were the elite team in The War Room.
- There had to be a title a group can hold in their enemies' faces.
Intermission - Paige VanZant w/ VP Paige vs. Megumi Kudo
- Even though they were on the same side in the WarGames, Sheamus showed The Silverback disrespect backstage, saying how he was the heavy hitter of Patron's Presidency.
- The Celtic Warrior called him weak. Henry called him a fake.
??? vs. Elias Samson, Johnny Gargano, & Zack Ryder
- The Paiges entered the ring, and VP Paige told the audience that this match will determine the future of Women's Wrestling in The War Room.
- Megumi Kudo came out in bandage wrappings to get inside VanZant's head.
- A Kudo Driver was attempted early, but 12 Gauge Paige had the technical prowess to break free.
- VanZant applied a Single-Legged Boston Crab, but the Vice President threw a towel into the ring, signifying her client gives up.
- Dumbfounded, 12 Gauge stepped out of the ring and got into Paige's face. Paige backed away, but a smile crept over her face.
- From the opposite side of the ring, Megumi Kudo pulled out a 2 x 4. She struck the MMA fighter across the back with it, bringing the young star to her knees.
- VP Paige called the audience stupid, reminding them that Apex Warfare was financially backed from investors overseas. It was obviously from Japan. Kudo and Paige left together while EMTs checked on VanZant's condition.
Main Event - Dave Bautista vs. Shinsuke Nakamura
- Patron had signed on extreme icons Necro Butcher, 2 Cold Scorpio, & Psichosis to show Apex Warfare the definition of hardcore.
- Referee Hall threw the match out in less than a minute due to Necro spilling thumbtacks into the ring, Psichosis Head Scissoring Ryder into them, followed by Scorpio executing a 450 Splash to The Long Island Loudmouth.
- The Necro Butcher lit Samson's guitar on fire and broke it across his own face.
- Psicosis threw himself into William Regal and Titus O'Neil, snatched Regal's headset, and told viewers at home that they were Old Blood and they were just getting started.
Final Minutes - Deathly Confrontation
- Before the fight properly began, Nakamura pulled salt from his pocket and threw it into Bautista's face.
- Referee Hall checked the Hollywood star, and was ready to call for the bell seconds in, but Bautista assured him he would be okay.
- Dave threw punches wildly, and the Japanese rockstar dodged them, making it look easy.
- Nakamura gave stick kicks to the back of The Animal's legs.
- With Bautista kneeling, Shinsuke winked at the crowd with a Japanese Buzzsaw Kick.
- It was only good for a 2. The referee halted Nakamura from doing any more damage so he can check on Bautista's eyes.
- Seeing that Bautista couldn't defend himself, Scott Hall called for the bell. With it being the second match of the night ending with referee stoppage, and it being an early end for the Main Event, fans threw trash into the ring.
- Alberto El Patron came out with a microphone.
- He'd kill two birds with one stone - to keep the fans from rioting, and to make an example out of Bautista, he ordered the match to continue as a Death Match.
- Still blind, Bautista took several strikes to the face before grabbing Nakamura.
- He launched him over the ropes. The Rockstar of AW landed in a heap.
- The Animal took that time to wipe his eyes.
- Shinsuke Nakamura returned with the 2 x 4 that Megumi Kudo had earlier.
- Bautista had enough vision to see Shinsuke, and speared him. The 2 x 4 broke in half across his shoulder.
- Both men lied prone on the mat.
- The sound of glass shattering made the audience leap from their seats.
- Steve Austin drove down the runway in an M270 Multiple Launch Rocket System.
- Nakamura was the first to his feet. He leaned against the ropes and stared at the Texan in disbelief.
- Stone Cold climbed on top of the MLRS and shouted that this was The War Room, was it not? He brought a war machine.
- Bautista made it to his feet, nursing his right shoulder. Nakamura grappled with the celebrity, but was overpowered.
- Austin provided commentary from on top of the mega tank, telling the audience how it was a huge surprise that Nakamura was The Benefactor all along, due to Alberto El Patron being the sleaziest suit he'd ever met. And that included Vince. "At least he never crowned himself champion."
- Bautista executed a Spinebuster, setting up the inevitable.
- As Bautista was readying his powerbomb, Shinsuke gave a low blow.
- Austin: "Cowardly sonovabitch!"
- The King of Strong Style positioned himself for the Kinshasa.
- Right as the kick appeared to connect, Bautista grabbed it in place and deadlifted Nakamura into a Bautista Bomb.
- It connected! Bautista pinned him as the referee counted to three.
- The Texas Rattlesnake slid down from the MLRS to congratulate The Animal inside the ring.
- The President responded to Austin and Bautista from the Titantron.
- In the spirit of fairness, he ruled that next week the Mexican Death Match would have only one rule - nobody is allowed to interfere.
- Patron went on to predict that this match would be Stone Cold's last in The War Room.
- Austin audibly shouted bullshit and that the belt was coming home with him at Broken Skull Ranch.
- As The Benefactor was getting back to his feet, Steve Austin delivered a vicious Stone Cold Stunner - it was powerful enough for Nakamura's mouth guard to fly into the audience!
- Show ended on Nakamura's twitching body.
1. The Wyatt Kindred def. The Color Guard due to Grado not responding to the 10 Count [11:13]
2. Mark Henry def. Sheamus with a pinfall victory [06:51]
3. Megumi Kudo def. Paige VanZant via manager stoppage [04:18]
4. The Old Blood vs. Samson, Gargano, & Ryder ended in referee stoppage [01:07]
5. Dave Bautista def. Shinsuke Nakamura at the discretion of a Batista Bomb [17:16]
Originally Posted by Hunter S. Thompson
"When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro."