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Old 08-15-2016, 10:00 PM
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This segment is sponsored in part by mashup songs. "All Star" by Smash Mouth has been a staple to the shows for a while now, and it wouldn't feel like All Stars without including it in some way.

So here is a nostalgic, almost bittersweet mashup of "All Star" and "Wake Me Up When September Ends".

We here at Creative have feels, too. Yaz rubs one out here and there and it gets sticky.


Neptune : Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall.

Introducing first, Sambuca Família Church in Bacardilona, Spain, "The Canman" Brandi Converts....

Brandi walks out to party, handing out mini-bottles of alcohol out to the audience. While climbing the steps, she pulls out a wine glass (whilst still holding the other drink in her hand, somehow) that's filled to the brim with a nice bottle of Merlot. She fills her mouth with wine before spitting it high into the air, bathing herself in the wine. She climbs the turnbuckles and does the same, except she drenches the crowd in the front row instead.

Neptune: And her opponent, from the Hilary Swank Ballroom at the Marriot in beautiful downtown Seattle, weighing a lean 8000-ish pounds including significant others, the open-bar Christmas party at the mid-sized marketing firm your girlfriend works for!

Surprisingly No one comes out much to audience's dismay while Neptune stands confused in the ring.

About ten minutes after the scheduled start time, the bulk of the party starts filtering out to the ring.

Krypto: This is such a sheer insult of the audience.

Ramparty: Yes, it is damn insulting. But still it's better late than never...

Krypto: Oh... Of course.


As soon as the bell rings, some more members of the party enter the ring. They all start chit-chating with each other while taking drinks too. Brandi stands there perplexed while holding a drink in her hand.

Ramparty: What the hell is going on in this ring?

Krypto: That's what All-Stars is all about. You never get to know what is happening in the ring.

Much to audience's displeasure, Brandi joins the party and starts exchanging drinks with the party. The party is excited to have a new member and thus start throwing Brandi just like a child. The audience is totalky in shock and don't hesitate to voice their displeasure.

"We Want Wrestling"
"We Want Wrestling"

The chants make Brandi remember that she has outwrestle and defeat her opponent which is the multi-person party. As soon as the party throws her up in the air, she executes a cross body and thus everyone falls on the mat. Brandi takes a sip off her drink and plays with the crowd who are happy to see the action getting started.

Krypto: Thank God, the match has started.

Ramparty: Exactly. Let's see how Brandi handles this many opponents on her own.

She starts hitting Champagne Shower on everyone thus momentarily destabilizing the vision of their eyes with that signature champagne spitting. Next she unloads her opponents with Beer Battered knocking out her oponents with spinning backfist of hers.

Krypto: That's like a true fighter.

The audience is cheering Brandi for such a great performance. Brandi starts drinking while taking some rest. She then starts hitting her finisher Last Call on each member of the party as soon as he gets on his feet. This finisher featuring a Reverse Roundhouse Kick knocks out cold every opponent. She then makes a pile of all her opponents and then hits
Moonshiner on all of them together. She gets too tired and then falls on the pile of her opponents for the pin.

Click for Spoiler:


Neptune: And the winner of the match, Brandi Converts.....!

Krypto: A daring performance by Brandi today.

Ramparty: Right. I am grateful to Brandi for saving us from those dumb Party members.

Brandi gathers strength to stand and then starts playing with the crowd while drinking her drink. Celebration of drinks has just started as she offers drink to the party too.

Originally Posted by Hunter S. Thompson
"When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro."