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Old 07-27-2016, 03:47 PM
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Default All-Stars Atlantis


The scene opens up to a submarine propelling itself from the ocean floor. It comes to a screeching halt, hovering over a trench. How it is able to do this your narrator has no fucking clue, but weirder shit happens on these shows so don't judge me and my inadequate scientific knowledge. Anyways the underwater ship accelerates again, scaring away a school of blue tangs. More fish steer clear of the vehicle as it slows down and comes to another stop, this time hitting a clown fish. You can hear what is presumably the father screaming in terror as one of the blue tangs tells him to just keep swimming.

Our pilot drives the submarine in one hand while playing on his phone with the other. The lights of the submarine come on and we see that the driver is an alien. Krypto takes his eyes off of his phone to talk to his friend.

Krypto: This game says there's a Vaporeon close by...I think it's screwing with me.

His friend looks like complete Euro trash. He wears a sticker. It says Hi My Name Is Ramparty. It is important for the reader to know that everytime Ramparty speaks, rave music plays.

Ramparty: NO! You don't let that fish dog screw you! You screw it. You bend that little fucker until its nose is in the cocaine and you root him like a palm tree. You hear me? Where's the vodka? I think we're out of vodka.

Krypto: It's in your bed where you left it. We really need to discuss your partying habits.

Ramparty: There is no party like a Ramparty party because-

Krypto: A Ramparty party don't stop. I know. Now do me a solid and watch for the Vaporeon while I try to drive. I think I killed one of those Disney fish...

Ramparty: Aww I love those talking fish people. Well I guess it coulda been worse. You could have killed a crab. That's a hate crime.

Krypto: Just take my phone already. I'm pretty close to hatching an egg, too. So keep a lookout for that.

Ramparty: NO! I need to look out for my own game. Fuck you you Team Valor piece of garbage. Big dick Mystic right here.

Krypto: Oh, come on man don't be an asshole. This is a family friendly game that delights the young and old alike and also helps you humans lose weight- THERE THAT BLUE BASTARD IS!

Right as the Eevee evolution pops up on Krypto's phone screen, the submarine crashes into an invisible barrier. Krypto and Ramparty recoil and fall out of their seats. The cell phones slide all the way to the rear of the vehicle.

Krypto: What was that?

Ramparty: You were the one driving!

They look through the window. Their faces turn into absolute bewilderment.

Krypto: Hold up...this looks like an arena...oh dear Lord don't tell me...

Ramparty: Yaaaas a wrestling venue. It must be-

Krypto: All Stars.

Ramparty: In Atlantis.

Krypto: Hey Ram, let's ditch Pokemon Go for a moment and commentate All Stars V.

Ramparty gives him a toothy grin before leaping up, grabbing the vodka and entering the void we only know as All Stars.


**********Pyro Bubbles**********
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Krypto: Welcome to the fifth installment of WZCW's All Stars! I am Krypto and we are here live in Atlantis. Please join me with my broadcast partner Ramparty!

Ramparty: This is a new kick for me. I ain't never trip with mermaids and flounders. This party should be fuckin' stellar.

Krypto: We have no idea what the matches are, but we'll do our best to provide entertainment for the land dwellers reading this. Looks like somebody is coming out.

Neptune, God of the Sea, staggers out to the cheers of everybody in attendance. He looks remarkably like Mikey Stormrage in a bikini.

Neptune: I'm not here to waste time. I'm here as your God-King and your announcer for the evening. Let's get this show shipped out, eh???

Krypto: There's going to be a lot of maritime puns tonight I bet.

Ramparty: No wonder God once destroyed this place.

Originally Posted by Hunter S. Thompson
"When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro."