Originally Posted by I Am Phenom
Before I go into the points that I want to make, let me tell all of you a story.
My sister who is 14 has a best friend who comes over all of the time. His name is DJ. He's also 14 and he's gay. So last night, I over hear the two of them talking and DJ exclaiming how he's ready for a serious relationship; including sex and the whole 9 yards. After hearing this I think to myself; "It's time for me to join in on the conversation and set this boy straight (no pun intended)". So I do. I tell them both all of the societal norms that you always hear. You're too young, you're still kids, you have all the time in the world, live your lives, sex is dangerous, I know you think you want this stuff but, and so on. My sister seems to listen and soak it up, which I love because I'm not ready for her to get to that point. DJ, on the other hand, retorts and begins to tell me his story and how he feels.
As I said, DJ is 14. According to him, he's been having sex with boys since the age of 8 and with men since last year (age 13). He wants a steady relationship and has been going out recently with a 21 year old guy who he met online. Now in my eyes and more importantly the eyes of the law, DJ's partner is a pedophile and DJ is a victim of child abuse and statutory rape. That's not how DJ sees it however. "I want a boyfriend", DJ says. "It's my choice. No one's abusing me. Why should we be treated like criminals?" Again, I tell him all of the societal norms. You don't know what you want or what you're doing, this guy is only after sex with boys, he doesn't love you, blah blah blah. I find myself talking to DJ as if he's a child. In the eyes of the law, he is a child and that should be enough. Is he really just a little kid though? He assures me that he is not just a child. Plus, his sophisticated gay image makes him look older than 14. I mean, he comes across as bright, articulate, sure of himself, and above all else, mature beyond his years. It's hard to imagine anyone getting away with taking advantage of him.
So we continue to talk (honestly this is the best conversation that I've had in years and it's with a 14 year old) and we get to the law breaking part of his relationship. DJ is concerned with the law, which in Nevada states that men over 19 who have consensual sex with guys under 18 are classified as dangerous sex criminals on par with child rapists. After serving their sentence, they would be required to register their address with the police for minimum of five years and could have their identity revealed to the public. Needless to say, this is a huge problem for DJ. Not only because his current partner is 21, but because he prefers older guys as opposed to guys his own age. He said: "I don't like guys my own age. They're too immature. I like men in their 20s to early 30s. They are more experienced and serious. With them, you can get into a closer relationship than you can with a teenager." Now I had him. "If other guys your age are too immature for serious relationships, what's the difference with you", I asked. "If they're too young for that sort of thing, aren't you?" "No", he said almost angrily. "Not all guys my age are immature like that but most are. Some kids mature faster than others." He continued with: "I don't consider guys who's balls have dropped as mature. I'm talking mentally mature. Some guys around my age have jobs and help support their families while still being on the honor roll at school. Yet the law still says they're too young." "The law is stupid", he exclaimed. "If I know what I'm doing and I'm not harming anyone else, I should be allowed to be with whoever I want."
Although I still have plenty of doubts, he has a point. If nobody forced him to do something he didn't want to do. If he wasn't tied down, drugged, or beaten. If he truly wants to be with an older guy and he truly understands the gravity of what he's doing and the consequences; is it wrong? Same goes for women and straight people in similar situations. I used to think that underage relationships were wrong no matter what. Was I wrong? I'm not saying that people go out and find an attractive 15 year old and get them to say yes or anything like that, however, if an underage teenager is truly in love with an older person, they understand everything that is going on, and they are a willing participant in the relationship; is it still wrong?
What do you guys think? Underage relationships are wrong no matter what? Depends on the situation? They're still kid? I'd like to know your opinions on such a taboo subject. I told DJ that I'd be posting this topic on here, so please be respectful.