*Justin Trudeau stands triumphantly as a special guest of The White House where President The Rock stands behind him fastening a Presidential Medal of Freedom around his neck*
Justin: *whispering* Thank you so much for this honor Mr. President, err I mean Mr. Rock.
Rock: *whispering* It doesn't matter what my name is, just smile and nod.
Justin: *whispering* This has been my dream since I was a little boy, running around the homestead in my underpants pretending I was Winston...
Rock: It doesn't matter that you have no clothes on.
*Justin looks down to see that he's wearing only a pair of boxer shorts*
Justin: Well if it doesn't matter, then I don't see why...
*Justin suddenly wakes up on the sofa in the living room of the apartment he shares with Donald Trump. His alarm clock can faintly be heard going off in his bedroom*
Justin: HOLY BEANS! I'M LATE FOR WORK!
*Justin frantically applies his favorite Mexican deodorant and puts on his Taco Bell uniform before sprinting out the door to his tandem bicycle*
Justin: Where is Donald!? He was supposed to help me with my work commute!
*Alec Baldwin walks up to Justin*
Justin: Alec, Thank Baby Jesus. I need..
Alec: Fuck off Justin.
*Alec Baldwin frantically sprints away before Justin can properly react*
*Stephen Hawking whirrs up to the scene*
Stephen: Hello, Justin, my friend. You seem to be in a pickle.
Justin: I don't have time for pickles! I have to get to work! I need this job!
Stephen: Justin, my friend, you are in luck. My wheel chair utilizes a lithium battery that is a prototype invented by one of my mentees at the...
*Justin rips Stephen's optical keyboard off of his wheel chair and smashes it on the ground before jumping onto Stephen's back*
Justin: JUST TAKE ME TO TACO BELL! I'M LATE!
*Stephen Hawking pushes forward and his wheel chair whirrs down the street before reaching a traffic jam.
Justin: WHAT IN CHEESE DOODLES!?
*Justin peers over the backed up traffic to see that its cause was a laundromat at the corner of the block that had caught fire.*
Justin: I have to put that fire out, or I might lose my job at Taco Bell!
*Justin rushes to the laundromat and shoulder rams several fire fighters to the ground as they attempt to prevent him from entering the blazing inferno. Justin finds Donald sitting down reading a Mexican newspaper*
Donald: Fuck off Justin, I'm busy.
Justin: THIS BUILDING IS ON FIRE!
Donald: Yeah, well you're a flaming moron.
*Justin holds out his arms*
Justin: Jump into my arms Donald, I have to rescue you.
*Donald smirks and shakes his head as if to say "no", when a nearby dryer suddenly explodes causing Donald to launch onto Justin's arms. Justin rushes out of the burning laundromat seconds before the roof caves in.*
Donald: There goes my last pair of socks.
Justin: You can borrow my crocks if you'd prefer.
Donald: Shut the fuck up Justin.
*Justin and Donald hop onto Stephen Hawking's back and they whirr between cars to escape the traffic jam on their way to Taco Bell*
Donald: I don't remember what just happened. What the fuck is going on?
Justin: We're going to the wrong Taco Bell! Stephen, you know that I work at the Taco Bell on Guadalupe road!
*Donald hits Stephen Hawking over the head, messing up Stephen's hair. Stephen's wheelchair whirrs toward the correct Taco Bell, eventually pulling into the parking lot and parking in a handicapped parking place.*
*Justin and Donald hop off the wheel chair, and Justin puts Stephen Hawking's limp body over his shoulders.*
Donald: Not that I really care, but why are we taking Stephen Hawking inside?
Justin: I need him to explain to my boss, Hillary Clinton, why I was late. I'm no good with her.
*Donald stares blankly at Justin and shrugs his shoulders. As the two begin to walk into the Taco Bell with Stephen Hawking's limp body in tow, an Escalade plows into the handicapped place obliterating Stephen's wheel chair. Alec Baldwin exits the Escalade.*
Alec: WHICH ONE OF YOU THREE PIECES OF SHIT PARKED THEIR STUPID LITTLE SCOOTER IN MY FUCKING PARKING SPOT!?
*Donald takes one step toward Alec, causing Alec to frantically leap back into his Escalade and speed off. The three enter the busy Taco Bell and enter Hillary Clinton's office where she sits at her giant desk.*
Hillary: Donald! We meet again. You seem to be doing very well for yourself.
Donald: Can it Hillary, I'm just here to tap into Justin's employee discount.
Hillary: *pointing to Stephen* Who the fuck is that?
Donald: That's my great uncle Hubert, he's saving his energy for sex night at your place.
Hillary: Very funny Donald. I was asking Justin.
*Hillary and Donald stare at Justin, whose lip quivers with terror.*
Hillary: What are any of you doing here!?
*Justin begins to sob uncontrollably into Donald's shoulder.*
Justin: I'M SO SORRY! I'M JUST SO SORRY!
Hillary: SORRY FOR WHAT!?
Justin: I wasn't present at my scheduled time. I have committed the unforgivable sin of job abandonment. I am what every naysayer was saying about me!
Hillary: Its.... Sunday Justin. You wanted Sunday's off so you don't miss laundry day.
*Justin immediately stops crying and drops Stephen Hawking on the floor.*
Hillary: *looks at Donald* And you! You don't get an employee discount unless you work here!
Donald: Then hire me, what do you need me to do?
Hillary: *smirks smugly, and retrieves a bucket of sand from behind her desk* Here you go Donald, take this bucket of sand.
*Donald takes the bucket of sand by the handle using both hands and groans as it's very heavy*
Hillary: Hold that bucket of sand for eight hours, and I might let you have a discount.
Donald: I have a better plan.
*Donald drops the bucket of sand onto Hillary's foot, causing her to pull her jump up and down on one foot while nursing the smashed one.*
Donald: I'm fired, whatever. Justin, buy me and Stephen some empanadas.
There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so. - Hamlet