Uncle Sam
02-16-2009, 04:13 PM
Sam's 4 to vote 4
My idea of campaign headquarters being used by, well, anyone and for, well, anyone these days, I've decided it's time to steal someone else's idea. The Canadian's. He made a "4 to vote 4" last time, if you remember. Art is theft.
Here is - in no particular order - my four to vote for:
#1 Brock Lesnar:
This took a lot of thinking over. I was trying to come up with names who legitimately should have a chance of tearing a whole in this thing but have, for no apparent reason, been denied all to easily. Brock Lesnar is the number one name in that category. Last year, he got fairly far. The final 32, I believe. He went out to Benoit in the end. Some good arguments were presented on Benoit's end, don't get me wrong.
However, Brock Lesnar is perhaps the most destructive force in pro wrestling. With him, that's much more than some hollow marketing spin. He is the real deal. I'm sure you're all sick of big men that can move quickly, but here's one. Poor in no area of wrestling, Brock has immense strength, arguably the best mat technique out there, agility impressive for any wrestler, never mind just one for his size and unsettling sadism. This is the man that made Hulk Hogan his bitch and smothered himself in his blood. There were very few that weren't outright devoured by this guy. He was WWE Champion until his final month in WWE. How did he lose the belt? Well, he was making Eddie Guerrero look like a joke, but got speared by Goldberg and then frog-splashed by Eddie to be screwed out of the title.
Cruiserweights simply can't dance around this man; he'll snatch them out of the air and break them over his knee. Big man can't rely on their weight to keep them grounded - this is the man that broke the ring using the Big Show. Anybody in the middle better hope they have something special up their sleeve - something even more special than The Undertaker, The Rock, Hulk Hogan and countless others had. Telling a story? It'll be the story of how you ended up in a wheelchair.
#2 AJ Styles:
The greatest cruiserweight of all time. Dean Malenko? Overrated. Jericho? He hits girls. Mysterio? Even when he was good, he got a beating every other week. Jeff Hardy? Sloppy as fuck. Shelton? You're kidding, right? Hornswoggle? Wait, I didn't think of Hornswoggle... Countless rhetorical questions? Annoying, I know.
AJ is so much more than the token TNA wrestler in this list. He's unfairly talented. I hate to be that guy, but what a move list. He is the genuine human highlight reel. The guy packs a punch, too. He's not one of these pussy "oh noes, no turnbuckle, what does I do!?" high flyers. No, this guy's gone toe-to-toe to Hernandez. You guys remember Hernandez, right? Big guy. Didn't make the list. Shame.
Does AJ have a legitimate chance of winning this? If it were up to me, yes. But it isn't, so probably not. I think he can be pushed fairly far though.
#3 Jeff Jarrett
For my money, the most underrated wrestler of all time. Whereas guys like The Rock benefited from limitless WWE exposure, Jarrett's been limited with WCW and TNA, but has been a much bigger success than many people are willing to give him credit for. Jarrett held the WCW belt 4, count 'em, 4 times. OK, this wasn't really in a time when that belt was the belt to win in professional wrestling, but it's still quite an achievement - even if it isn't quite five times, five times, five times, five times, five times!
In TNA, Jarrett has been the undisputed king... of the mountain. Sure, you can say it's because he's responsible for his own booking but you still vote for Triple H, don't you? Jeff Jarrett, my friends, is a great heel.
If I were to be honest, I'd say he was smarter than Edge. Sure, Edge can come up with all these complex ways to get himself back on top, but Jarrett is clever enough to keep himself on top, using whatever means, necessary, for a long, long time, even if he is completely outmatched. He knows how to win, and he knows how to not lose.
#4 Chris Benoit
Chris Benoit has made Triple H tap out to the Crippler Crossface. Chris Benoit has made Shawn Michaels tap out to the Sharpshooter. Chris Benoit... look, he's beaten a lot of guys, OK? Just trust me on this. I'm not going through his OWW profile, I'm not that sad. There's not a region he could draw that would be to his disadvantage; even TNA!
One of the best technical wrestlers in wrestling history - putting him on Bret Hart and Kurt Angle's level, both of whom he was put on great bouts with - a fantastic submission artist and an all around tough son of a bitch, Chris took his opponents out strategically, wearing them down and making them tap. I mean, he modelled himself of the Dynamite Kid, but pretty much surpassed him.
There's not a soul in this tournament that Benoit can not beat. I mean that sincerely.
My idea of campaign headquarters being used by, well, anyone and for, well, anyone these days, I've decided it's time to steal someone else's idea. The Canadian's. He made a "4 to vote 4" last time, if you remember. Art is theft.
Here is - in no particular order - my four to vote for:
#1 Brock Lesnar:
This took a lot of thinking over. I was trying to come up with names who legitimately should have a chance of tearing a whole in this thing but have, for no apparent reason, been denied all to easily. Brock Lesnar is the number one name in that category. Last year, he got fairly far. The final 32, I believe. He went out to Benoit in the end. Some good arguments were presented on Benoit's end, don't get me wrong.
However, Brock Lesnar is perhaps the most destructive force in pro wrestling. With him, that's much more than some hollow marketing spin. He is the real deal. I'm sure you're all sick of big men that can move quickly, but here's one. Poor in no area of wrestling, Brock has immense strength, arguably the best mat technique out there, agility impressive for any wrestler, never mind just one for his size and unsettling sadism. This is the man that made Hulk Hogan his bitch and smothered himself in his blood. There were very few that weren't outright devoured by this guy. He was WWE Champion until his final month in WWE. How did he lose the belt? Well, he was making Eddie Guerrero look like a joke, but got speared by Goldberg and then frog-splashed by Eddie to be screwed out of the title.
Cruiserweights simply can't dance around this man; he'll snatch them out of the air and break them over his knee. Big man can't rely on their weight to keep them grounded - this is the man that broke the ring using the Big Show. Anybody in the middle better hope they have something special up their sleeve - something even more special than The Undertaker, The Rock, Hulk Hogan and countless others had. Telling a story? It'll be the story of how you ended up in a wheelchair.
#2 AJ Styles:
The greatest cruiserweight of all time. Dean Malenko? Overrated. Jericho? He hits girls. Mysterio? Even when he was good, he got a beating every other week. Jeff Hardy? Sloppy as fuck. Shelton? You're kidding, right? Hornswoggle? Wait, I didn't think of Hornswoggle... Countless rhetorical questions? Annoying, I know.
AJ is so much more than the token TNA wrestler in this list. He's unfairly talented. I hate to be that guy, but what a move list. He is the genuine human highlight reel. The guy packs a punch, too. He's not one of these pussy "oh noes, no turnbuckle, what does I do!?" high flyers. No, this guy's gone toe-to-toe to Hernandez. You guys remember Hernandez, right? Big guy. Didn't make the list. Shame.
Does AJ have a legitimate chance of winning this? If it were up to me, yes. But it isn't, so probably not. I think he can be pushed fairly far though.
#3 Jeff Jarrett
For my money, the most underrated wrestler of all time. Whereas guys like The Rock benefited from limitless WWE exposure, Jarrett's been limited with WCW and TNA, but has been a much bigger success than many people are willing to give him credit for. Jarrett held the WCW belt 4, count 'em, 4 times. OK, this wasn't really in a time when that belt was the belt to win in professional wrestling, but it's still quite an achievement - even if it isn't quite five times, five times, five times, five times, five times!
In TNA, Jarrett has been the undisputed king... of the mountain. Sure, you can say it's because he's responsible for his own booking but you still vote for Triple H, don't you? Jeff Jarrett, my friends, is a great heel.
If I were to be honest, I'd say he was smarter than Edge. Sure, Edge can come up with all these complex ways to get himself back on top, but Jarrett is clever enough to keep himself on top, using whatever means, necessary, for a long, long time, even if he is completely outmatched. He knows how to win, and he knows how to not lose.
#4 Chris Benoit
Chris Benoit has made Triple H tap out to the Crippler Crossface. Chris Benoit has made Shawn Michaels tap out to the Sharpshooter. Chris Benoit... look, he's beaten a lot of guys, OK? Just trust me on this. I'm not going through his OWW profile, I'm not that sad. There's not a region he could draw that would be to his disadvantage; even TNA!
One of the best technical wrestlers in wrestling history - putting him on Bret Hart and Kurt Angle's level, both of whom he was put on great bouts with - a fantastic submission artist and an all around tough son of a bitch, Chris took his opponents out strategically, wearing them down and making them tap. I mean, he modelled himself of the Dynamite Kid, but pretty much surpassed him.
There's not a soul in this tournament that Benoit can not beat. I mean that sincerely.